Why are people so concerned with what others do at the gym?

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I think your energy would be far better spent on your own fitness journey, rather than belittling other people for how they choose to go about theirs. Shaming people about how they choose to work out and writing long lists about the types of people you hate at the gym is both mean and childish. I think the worst type of person is the type that sits back and smugly makes fun of others for not knowing as much about fitness and/or gym etiquette as they do.

    Sorry to tell you, but some gripes are legitimate. People speaking loudly on cell phones (which is against gym rules and there are signsposted EVERYWHERE) and not wiping your sweat off of equipment don't just affect the people who do those things.
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
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    I don't see why it bothers you so much that people do this... if you don't like it, then don't go to the gym or don't read the threads.. that simple.

    This is the most appalling advice that I've ever heard. I'm supposed to ignore bullying and terrible attitudes because I don't like it? Should I also ignore rape and child abuse simply because I don't like them? Ignore racist comments because I don't like them? Really? That's your advice?

    It should bother EVERYONE that bullying attitudes are accepted in any situation, let alone in one where people are going out of their way to get fitter and healthier. Shaming people for going to the gym and dancing, for wearing makeup to the gym (y'know, some of us go straight from work) and all sorts of other HARMLESS behaviours is petty and cruel.

    And to the last poster, yes, some gripes are legit. You don't have to apologize, it's fine. If people are doing things clearly against gym rules, then yes. That's annoying. I get that. But the "People at the gym" thread isn't about gym rules, it isn't about health and safety - it's about making fun of people. And that's pretty sad.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I don't see why it bothers you so much that people do this... if you don't like it, then don't go to the gym or don't read the threads.. that simple.

    This is the most appalling advice that I've ever heard. I'm supposed to ignore bullying and terrible attitudes because I don't like it? Should I also ignore rape and child abuse simply because I don't like them? Ignore racist comments because I don't like them? Really? That's your advice?

    It should bother EVERYONE that bullying attitudes are accepted in any situation, let alone in one where people are going out of their way to get fitter and healthier. Shaming people for going to the gym and dancing, for wearing makeup to the gym (y'know, some of us go straight from work) and all sorts of other HARMLESS behaviours is petty and cruel.

    And to the last poster, yes, some gripes are legit. You don't have to apologize, it's fine. If people are doing things clearly against gym rules, then yes. That's annoying. I get that. But the "People at the gym" thread isn't about gym rules, it isn't about health and safety - it's about making fun of people. And that's pretty sad.

    I apologize that you live in such a damn perfect world where everyone ****s rainbows and pony's dance around and no one ever made fun of anyone else.

    Grow up and realize that every now and then people poke fun at one another and themselves.. and that it's not a bad thing.

    People in that other thread are having a laugh at themselves when they read these.. and you know what, it's ok.

    You on the other hand don't realize that are trying to turn it into something it's not.. which is sad. Get off you're damn high Anti-Bullying/ horse and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you honey. These threads will always exist if you like it or not.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I haven't read the thread in question, but I will say this: there are some UNUSUAL people at the gym and being human, I can't help shakimg my head and chuckling at some of them. Not to their faces and I would never be mean.

    But come on! The guy who works out in khakis and dress shoes, is all buff like he's at a fancy restaurant and walks by the ellipticals every five minutes to use the water fountain? Absurdly funny.
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
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    I apologize that you live in such a damn perfect world where everyone ****s rainbows and pony's dance around and no one ever made fun of anyone else.

    Don't apologize, it's fine. And clearly that's not the world that anyone lives in, but wouldn't it be nice?
    Grow up and realize that every now and then people poke fun at one another and themselves.. and that it's not a bad thing.

    I think the true growing up comes when you realize that it's actually not very nice to derive pleasure or joy from making other people feel bad.
    People in that other thread are having a laugh at themselves when they read these.. and you know what, it's ok.

    It would be fine if no one was feeling like they had to defend their actions, but that wasn't the case.
    You on the other hand don't realize that are trying to turn it into something it's not.. which is sad. Get off you're damn high Anti-Bullying/ horse and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you honey. These threads will always exist if you like it or not.

    I think it's incredibly sad that people are willing to get so angry that someone merely wishes that people wouldn't bully others. You know how crazy that is, right? Arguing FOR your right to bully others? What about when it's your kids that are being bullied? Your siblings, parents, friends? The world revolves around all of us. And it would revolve a hell of a lot nicer if we supported each other, rather than tore each other down.

    These threads will only exist as long as people like you continue to push a pro-bullying agenda. Which is the most absurd thing I think I've ever heard.
  • LA723
    LA723 Posts: 98 Member
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    I don't go to the gym either because last time i went i did the stationary bike for 20 mins and the way the gym is set up the bikes look at the treadmills. Well i was listening to my music and glancing around the gym because it was only my second time and I was just looking at the equipment and then I saw some guy pointing at me and laughing because my face was red and I was sweating. Then he nudged the girl next to him and pointed me out to her and they both started laughing at me. Haven't been back to the gym since. I felt really about myself when that happened and I just got up and walked out to my car and started crying. I don't think that people should make fun of anyone for trying to lose weight or workout. That happened a year ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I haven't been to the gym yet but when I drop some pounds I will start going.

    That's terrible. :frown: When I belonged to a different gym a while back, there was a woman on one of the machines. She was morbidly obese. But she was trying, ya know? Some of the gym regulars were rolling their eyes, snickering, etc at this poor woman. Some were downright laughing at her. I was so disgusted. I wish I had enough nerve to tell them about it, but I didn't.
  • beckie4442
    beckie4442 Posts: 132
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    REALLY!?! The other thread was having a laugh, stop getting so upity about it!!! I'm a complete newbie at the gym and I have read a few books on how to lift but I'm still getting used to equipment and I don't know how much to lift without damaging myself, I talk to people because I want more info or I only see that person at the gym and I want to make healthy friends. I still am a bit intimidated going into a sea of muscle men but they all move over for me ( eventually ) and It's only in my head. I do look round to see if the machine I want is available and if I happen to see some bloke performing a bicep curl with big weights but really bad form, I chuckle to myself. :laugh:
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
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    A laugh at other people's expense isn't a very good laugh.

    I think it's amazing that people are arguing for their right to be mean and judgmental of other people.
  • sandz2710
    sandz2710 Posts: 16
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    I don't go to the gym either because last time i went i did the stationary bike for 20 mins and the way the gym is set up the bikes look at the treadmills. Well i was listening to my music and glancing around the gym because it was only my second time and I was just looking at the equipment and then I saw some guy pointing at me and laughing because my face was red and I was sweating. Then he nudged the girl next to him and pointed me out to her and they both started laughing at me. Haven't been back to the gym since. I felt really about myself when that happened and I just got up and walked out to my car and started crying. I don't think that people should make fun of anyone for trying to lose weight or workout. That happened a year ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I haven't been to the gym yet but when I drop some pounds I will start going.

    That's terrible. :frown: When I belonged to a different gym a while back, there was a woman on one of the machines. She was morbidly obese. But she was trying, ya know? Some of the gym regulars were rolling their eyes, snickering, etc at this poor woman. Some were downright laughing at her. I was so disgusted. I wish I had enough nerve to tell them about it, but I didn't.

    I think it is awful to giggle behind others backs or even laugh at them so obviously that they can see you!
    I would hate to be made to feel so small and like I shouldn't be there when I have the same right as everybody else...
    I'm not saying that I've never made fun of anyone in my life but I am one of these people who is genuinely nice to everyone (unless they've been mean to me 1st for no reason) and I feel bad for those who feel like they're being bullied...
    I don't go to the gym, I go to dance class and Zumba class where I am friends with everybody there and we support others on their weight loss/fitness journey and welcome newbies to the class...
    Bullying of any kind I can not tolerate and I for one would hate to be on the receiving end of those giggles...
    Put yourself in their place before you make nasty remarks or laugh about someones attempts to get fit...
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    A laugh at other people's expense isn't a very good laugh.

    I think it's amazing that people are arguing for their right to be mean and judgmental of other people.

    and I think it's amazing that you are still going on about this topic.

    Give it up already.. If you really don't like it, then there is this little button called report post, that allows the moderators to see whats going on.. I suggest you push it on the other thread and get rid of it now so it stops offending you.

    For the record, I work in Special Education.... I see the looks my students get when we go places. Does it make me angry? Yes. Do I realize though that it is going to happen where ever we go and that getting angry about it isn't going to change anything? Yes.

    You can't change what people do... period. As I stated before, there will always be threads like this.. if you do a search, you'll see a thousand more just with different titles. It's apart of life and unless you can say that you've never judged or made fun of anyone, then you have no room to talk.
  • inuit
    inuit Posts: 72 Member
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    Some of the other thread is funny, but sometimes people take it to far and it can make people feel uncomfortable to go. Some gyms are worse than others, you just need to pick one that has a range of people going.

    At ours we have the people just starting out of all ages, shapes and sizes, to the uber fit and there are serious bodybuilders. Never noticed someone laughing at another, but then when i am working out do not take that much notice.

    Mind you after reading the other thread i realised i might have creeped out the lady next to me. She had a body to die for and i was curious to see what she was doing. No way i wanted to compete, more of what i should be aiming for. I did not want to interrupt her and talk to her, but in hindsight i should have been a bit more casual about looking at her and what she was doing. Infact i decided to talk to her the next time i saw her and explained i was interested in the setting on the machines she used. She was really pleasent and i think a little relieved that i was not really one of the odd people at the gym.

    There are two sides to everything and i partly agree with the OP that some threads do add an element of fear for people going to the gym for the first time,so people should be a think carefully about what they post, but also life cannot be taken too seriously and we have to roll with it sometimes.
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
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    You can't change what people do... period. As I stated before, there will always be threads like this.. if you do a search, you'll see a thousand more just with different titles. It's apart of life and unless you can say that you've never judged or made fun of anyone, then you have no room to talk.

    Of course I have room to talk - people change and grow and that's why I'm talking about this. I'm not content to live in a world where people just shrug and accept bullying as a part of life. It amazes me that anyone is! It shouldn't be a part of life. It's terrible and horrible and affects peoples lives in a massively negative way. Why should we just accept it? Why can't we just be supportive and nice? What on earth is wrong with me wanting people to just be nice to each other? It's actually incredibly depressing that people have a problem with that.

    You can always decide to change your view on this and then maybe you could even convince someone else to as well. And then maybe one day we'll get to a place in our society when people won't just chalk bullying up to being just a normal part of life. Wouldn't that be lovely?
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    You can always decide to change your view on this and then maybe you could even convince someone else to as well. And then maybe one day we'll get to a place in our society when people won't just chalk bullying up to being just a normal part of life. Wouldn't that be lovely?

    Bullying is wrong of course. An internet thread full of complaints that most people never have the balls to make out loud to the real people in the gym is not bullying. A complaint in itself isn't bullying. Teasing isn't bullying. I have never laughed out loud at someone in the gym, unless it was someone I knew.

    People need to get thicker skin. Kids and parents are crying wolf at every little thing. A friends child was sent to detention because he said a classmate looked like that red head snowboard kid... I forget his name.... Shawn something.... This was told to his parents as the reason, and it wasn't even said in a derogatory fashion. Are you f'ing kidding me????? A detention for an observation. Anyone who actually was bullied knows what it's like and what you are describing simply is not bullying.

    I don't care if other women don't like my make up at the gym. I dare any of them to say something to my made up face - which has never happened. If one did happen to ask - is that bullying? Hardly. I would simply put them in their place, which to me is right next to the dirt on my shoe because that's the equivalent to a strangers opinion for me.

    Telling someone to wipe their sweat puddle off a machine isn't bullying either - it's called hygiene and I'm not their mom. I'm not cleaning up after them. But I will certainly point it out - first to them, then to management if they continue this disgusting behavior. Again, NOT bullying.
  • BKR1977
    BKR1977 Posts: 43 Member
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    Read these posts...
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/356088-most-embarrassing-gym-moment
    People are laughing at themselves, and a lot are funny. If I would have been watching some of these I would have laughed too.

    As some posters on this topic that have been singled out and laughed at, that is just wrong.
  • ChanyRae
    ChanyRae Posts: 112
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    I used to go to the gym.....and I didnt give a crap if others were looking or judging me LOL. There were times I'd see someone doing really improper form on a weight machine, and I'd so badly want to say something! But I realize not everyone was as lucky as me (both my parents were health and fitness nuts, mom even went to school for it) So I was shown how to use machines properly early on. Just made me worry some ppl were going to really hurt themselves. But of course I'd mind my own business, most people dont take too kindly from unsolicited advice :laugh:

    Now I work out at home....just prefer the convienence of it. Love working out in my PJs, watching my big tv from my elliptical, and knowing that I'm the only person that sweats all over my equipment LOL.
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
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    Teasing isn't bullying.

    What's the difference if you hurt someone's feelings? Why is that something that you would want to risk?
    People need to get thicker skin.

    What on earth is this victim blaming bollocks?! YOU get hurt by something, and it's YOUR fault? That's 100% not fair. Some people are more sensitive that others and that's absolutely fine. Some people can happily shrug off insults but some can't.

    Kids and parents are crying wolf at every little thing. A friends child was sent to detention because he said a classmate looked like that red head snowboard kid... I forget his name.... Shawn something.... This was told to his parents as the reason, and it wasn't even said in a derogatory fashion. Are you f'ing kidding me????? A detention for an observation. Anyone who actually was bullied knows what it's like and what you are describing simply is not bullying.

    Well, unfortunately kids don't always tell the entire truth to their parents about why they've got into trouble at school. But that's beside the point. Observations can absolutely amount to bullying. "Oh my god, you're so skinny, you must have an eating disorder. You're anorexic, you're anorexic!" or "You're so fat, you can't even run without getting out of breath! You're so fat! You're so fat!" Both observations, but definitely nasty and definitely bullying.
    I don't care if other women don't like my make up at the gym. I dare any of them to say something to my made up face - which has never happened. If one did happen to ask - is that bullying? Hardly. I would simply put them in their place, which to me is right next to the dirt on my shoe because that's the equivalent to a strangers opinion for me.

    I don't care either. But some people do, that's all I'm saying. It's not about daring people to say things to our face, it's not about putting people in their place. It's about acknowledging that saying things like "Oh, I hate that woman at the gym who wears makup and jewelry - who the hell does she think she's impressing?! What a stuck up cow!" (which are things that were being said in the other thread) can be hurtful TO SOME PEOPLE. If you don't want to call it bullying, fine. Call it being insensitive, call it being rude, call it whatever you want, but if you're hurting someone's feelings by doing it - why do it? Seriously. Why are you arguing so passionately for your right to make other people feel bad about themselves. Would you rather start a "people that I love at the gym" thread, and watch people pipe up saying "Hey! That's me! I'm the guy/girl who always sanitizes my machine and it's so cool that I'm getting recognition!" rather than people scrambling to justify why they do the things that other people hate?
    Telling someone to wipe their sweat puddle off a machine isn't bullying either - it's called hygiene and I'm not their mom. I'm not cleaning up after them. But I will certainly point it out - first to them, then to management if they continue this disgusting behavior. Again, NOT bullying.

    Well, unless you stroll up to them, call them disgusting and make a massive scene about it, embarrassing them in front of the whole gym. That would be bullying. It would be equally as easy to tell the gym staff who would do it in a much more tactful manner.
  • alyssamiller77
    alyssamiller77 Posts: 891 Member
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    I think your energy would be far better spent on your own fitness journey, rather than belittling other people for how they choose to go about theirs. Shaming people about how they choose to work out and writing long lists about the types of people you hate at the gym is both mean and childish. I think the worst type of person is the type that sits back and smugly makes fun of others for not knowing as much about fitness and/or gym etiquette as they do.

    I'll tell you exactly why and it has nothing to do with being smug, conceited or thinking I'm better than them in any way at all. It's because what they do at the gym has a direct impact on me and the quality of my workout. If they leave weights lying all over the place or put them back in the wrong spot that directly impacts me. If they stand on a treadmill chatting for 20 minutes and as a result I have to wait for them to finish their conversation then that impacts me. If they're bouncing from machine to machine not really working anything and I have to dodge them in order to get my workout in, that directly affects me.

    Everyone's habits at the gym affect everyone else. Whether their etiquette is perfect or they're completely rude to each other it has an affect on everyone around them. The concept of etiquette exists so that we can all work together in an environment such as that in an effective and harmonious way. When someone comes in and upsets that harmony it hurts everyone else.

    So tell me this, are you saying you've never complained about how someone else on the road was driving? Never complained when someone at the store was holding up the checkout line because they were too busy talking on a cell phone to pay attention to the cashier. Have you never been angry and vented about who was acting rude or outside the norm in any social situation? This is no different. The gym is another social situation and those who choose to operate outside the set of accepted norms and expected etiquette, cause problems for the group, not just themselves.

    Any questions?
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
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    Legit gripes sure. Yeah, it's a pain when people don't wipe down machines and act in a way that endangers others at the gym.

    This is not the kind of comments that I'm addressing. It's the comments deriding people who choose to walk on a treadmill, read a magazine on a bike or wear makeup to the gym. Defend making fun of those people.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I don't go to the gym for two reasons: I can't afford it and because I'm the oh so despised woman that works out in tiny shorts and a sports bra. Last time I went to a gym, I almost wanted to wear a burka, with the evil looks and b itchy mutterings from the other women.
    So even if I had the money, no I won't go to the gym cuz its intolerable to get such looks from the women. Get over it biotches.
  • alyssamiller77
    alyssamiller77 Posts: 891 Member
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    Legit gripes sure. Yeah, it's a pain when people don't wipe down machines and act in a way that endangers others at the gym.

    This is not the kind of comments that I'm addressing. It's the comments deriding people who choose to walk on a treadmill, read a magazine on a bike or wear makeup to the gym. Defend making fun of those people.

    If they're doing legitimate exercise (which I personally consider walking on a treadmill just as legit as running on one), following gym rules and typical gym etiquette, I have no problem with them. Reading a magazine on a bike? As long as it's an exercise bike at the gym and not pedaling down the trail or sidewalk, I don't see how that's any worse than watching the TV's or listening to music while working out. Makeup, I couldn't care less one way or the other.

    I will say, and I'm guessing you agree, that anyone who is actually at the gym and doing any level of exercise is already ten steps ahead of over half the population who would rather just sit at home on the couch watching TV. And for that I agree they do deserve a level of respect, at least until they do something else to lose it.
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