Don't text or call for a week after a first date, what about

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kaleas
kaleas Posts: 200
in Chit-Chat
I really don't get this whole thing. Maybe it's because I'm 23 now and the dating world has changed. In high school we'd watch a movie, make out when our parents weren't in the room, and BAM, I'd have a boyfriend.

Man have things changed.

So I had gone out on Thursday night with this guy. We had a great time. He tried to cuddle me while we watched a movie and although I liked him, I didn't reciprocate cause well, I was still in the "getting to know him stage" (a few years ago, I would have just jumped him). However I would really like to hang out and see him again.

I'm being told I need to wait at least a week, and infact, I should wait for him. If he doesn't offer, he's not interested. No texting. No calling.

Does that even work anymore? We're friends on Facebook. We comment on each others status's. So it's not like we're...not communicating? Is a few days too soon for me to message him on Facebook and go "Hey, I laughed my *kitten* off with you the other night, wanna split a six pack and chill?"

When did dating get so complicated.
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Replies

  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    text him right now
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
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    Take the initiative and text him. What's the worse he can say? " no thanks, not interested "... you haven't lost anything then.
  • natashamcn
    natashamcn Posts: 145 Member
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    Send him a text and tell him you had a good time :) and good luck!
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    Here's the thing. Guys get in touch if they're interested. It is fine to initiate, but I figure you want a man, not an indecisive boy.
  • kaleas
    kaleas Posts: 200
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    Here's the thing. Guys get in touch if they're interested. It is fine to initiate, but I figure you want a man, not an indecisive boy.

    My thoughts exactly. My only worry is I may have given him the idea that I wasn't interested because I didn't return the cuddling effort, instead called him out on being tired and ended the evening.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    Don't do this! If you're interested in someone show them. Don't play around with them because it gets very confusing and annoying.
  • Bradozzz85
    Bradozzz85 Posts: 46
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    He probably thinks you weren't keen cos you burnt him when he tried to cuddle you.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    Here's the thing. Guys get in touch if they're interested. It is fine to initiate, but I figure you want a man, not an indecisive boy.

    My thoughts exactly. My only worry is I may have given him the idea that I wasn't interested because I didn't return the cuddling effort, instead called him out on being tired and ended the evening.

    Maybe I'm not getting you. If you just cut bait and ended it, he may be reading into things. Just not wanting the physical is normal, guys get past that all the time. But if you ended the night over it, then maybe you do need to let him know you had a good time.
  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
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    He's probably thinking the same thing. Forget those stupid "movie rules" and just communicate. It can actually make someone disinterested if you don't speak... I know it would for me anyway.
  • Nopedotjpeg
    Nopedotjpeg Posts: 1,806 Member
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    Nobody listens to that bull****. Take some initiative. A lot of guys dig that.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I'd text him exactly what you said. Now. Because you want to.

    Ditch the game you've heard you should play;) it just ends up confusing you both!
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Forget the rules.. just be the way you normally would be.. if both people like eachother then communication shouldn't be an issue..
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
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    Don't do this! If you're interested in someone show them. Don't play around with them because it gets very confusing and annoying.

    this. no need to play games.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    That was Thursday. This is Sunday. Relax.

    If you want to text him tonight, do. But trust me...if he's interested, he'll get in touch. Try not to obsess. It'll only drive you crazy.
  • Samerah12
    Samerah12 Posts: 610 Member
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    Text him.

    Those rules are an ok benchmark for people who REALLY don't know what they're doing but the dynamics of any random two individuals isn't going to fit neatly into a little box with rules stamped on it. I went out with a guy, didn't hear from him for a week and had totally written him off by that point cuz it had been a freaking week! I wasn't interested in him enough to both texting him, but if he was interested and I'd heard from him earlier I'd have given him another shot.
  • jenny95662
    jenny95662 Posts: 997 Member
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    def just text him. It will give you an answer and you wont have to just wait i hate the waiting gam elol
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    text him now. say this: "hi, had a great time the other night, and would love to do it again." but only if you really are intrested to. if he doesn't get back to you within 12 hours, delete the number.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    Send him a text and tell him you had a good time :) and good luck!

    ^go for this :)
  • emrys1976
    emrys1976 Posts: 213 Member
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    If you want to talk to someone and don't in order to see what they do, you're playing games. Games don't help relationships.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I'd listen to the guy's responses and get ahold of him. We girls tend to complicate things because we overthink them. He probably has been looking at his phone every 30 seconds hoping you'd call or text because he doesn't want to scare you away. Rules suck, I break them every chance I can.

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