Mothers (no offense)

Options
staclo
staclo Posts: 511 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm a mother too, but my mother sometimes just doesn't know when to put her foot in her mouth.

I stayed at her house last night. This morning, I was busy with all kinds of stuff. At one point, I stopped and made a comment about needing to eat breakfast. She said that it wasn't important to eat. I tried to explain the importance of eating breakfast everyday. She then made some comment about how her way works better than mine, b/c I'm bigger (heavier) than her. Did I mention that my mom is a beanpole?

I tried to just brush it off, but it irritated the crap out of me. Ok, sorry...I just needed to vent. :grumble:

Replies

  • carlafreeman
    carlafreeman Posts: 91
    Options
    Vent it out girl!! We all need to sometimes!! :smooched:

    What may work for her...doesn't mean that it will work for you. We are all different!!
  • tabchanges
    tabchanges Posts: 1,435 Member
    Options
    I hear you, girl. My Mom has NO IDEA when to shut it either!!
  • Toddy67
    Toddy67 Posts: 24
    Options
    When I visited my mum a couple of months ago she commented on how nice I looked. She followed it up with a comment on how fat people get better clothes these days!!





    212078.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Calorie Counter
  • stephica
    stephica Posts: 164 Member
    Options
    I had a similar situation at Christmas with my Mom. I decided I would like to eat a bowl of oatmeal at 1:00pm since I hadn't had anything to eat for breakfast since we were running around, and I didn't want to eat all the sweets at my family Christmas. Grrrr! She made some comment about how we were eating soon and something rude.

    Don't worry! We have all been in a similar situation! xox.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    Options
    I read a book about mothers and daughters because I have a teenaged daughter myself and I wanted to try not to offend her like my Mom did to me. It said that the relationship between mothers and daughters is the most volatile of all relationships. With two women trying to be dominant, you aren't necessarily listening to the other one.

    My Mom used to tell me I needed to lose weight ( she has since passed away) and I hated it. She was right of course but I hated to hear it. I used to get furious. Now, of course, I talk to my daughter about eating healthy and she gets furious..... Go Figure!
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
    Options
    My mom told me that counting calories is too much work and I should find a different way to lose weight. As if anything worth while in life is easy!
  • naugustyniak
    naugustyniak Posts: 836 Member
    Options
    I read a book about mothers and daughters because I have a teenaged daughter myself and I wanted to try not to offend her like my Mom did to me. It said that the relationship between mothers and daughters is the most volatile of all relationships. With two women trying to be dominant, you aren't necessarily listening to the other one.

    My Mom used to tell me I needed to lose weight ( she has since passed away) and I hated it. She was right of course but I hated to hear it. I used to get furious. Now, of course, I talk to my daughter about eating healthy and she gets furious..... Go Figure!

    Pretty much the same here. My daughter is 21 (I also have a17 year old son) and really the only thing I learned from my mother was what NOT to do. She wasn't exactly the nurturing type. Luckily my dad was married for 32 years (most of my life) to a wonderful woman who didn't have children of her own but taught me how to treat my kids (weird huh). She passed away 4 years ago this month and I really miss her.

    My mom (biological) is alcoholic, diabetic, way out of shape and has been married and divorced two times (married to my dad 10 years, waited 7 years, married again for 5 years, divorced for 25 years) and gives me crap about what and how I eat AND tries to give me marriage advice. Drives me crazy. I am a vegetarian and NEVER hear the end of that one at family gatherings. My daughter and I have a pretty good relationship. Sometimes she will say "Mom you are acting like grandma" and I shut it. :laugh: Both of my kids are very supportive of my lifestyle change and engage in it from time to time.....hubby on the other hand is a different story.:angry:
  • onfleur
    onfleur Posts: 159 Member
    Options
    Although we love our mothers and all, isn't it nice that you have a place to come to like this where you can vent and receive the support of others? And isn't it interesting that 'others' moms or not, always seem to have the better or right answers? Hang in there girl.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • staceyw37
    staceyw37 Posts: 2,094 Member
    Options
    :laugh:

    HUGS
    good thing YOU know BEST. :flowerforyou:
  • xmissxshelx
    xmissxshelx Posts: 21
    Options
    There's plenty of negative things I could say about my mom but I'm not going to because they aren't diet/weight related.... anyway...

    Vent all you want! It's nice to hear I'm not the only one with mom struggles.
  • staclo
    staclo Posts: 511 Member
    Options
    Thanks everyone! I feel a lot better now. I'm glad I'm not alone! :happy:
  • cellorocker
    cellorocker Posts: 290
    Options
    Wooh, hallelujah to this thread.
    My mom gets angry if I ask if I can make my own dinner, because she makes just HORRIBLE stuff (not taste, just unhealthy). She's a pro cook, and so she never really worried about fats or anything, she just puts it in.
    So then she mentioned what we were having for dinner, and I asked if I could make my own to stay under my limits, and she started going off "I don't care if you're trying to lose weight, we're eating TOGETHER as a family, and eating THE SAME FOODS, like a family. The world doesn't revolve around you!"
    And I'm like jeez, okay.

    Argh. Moms.
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
    Options
    I now have a new appreciation for my mother. She has never said anything mean about my weight and she even listens to my suggestions and (nicely) suggests things to help me. My dad on the other hand... He doesn't understand why he shouldn't get chicken fried steak with extra gravy...:huh:
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Options
    Wooh, hallelujah to this thread.
    My mom gets angry if I ask if I can make my own dinner, because she makes just HORRIBLE stuff (not taste, just unhealthy). She's a pro cook, and so she never really worried about fats or anything, she just puts it in.
    So then she mentioned what we were having for dinner, and I asked if I could make my own to stay under my limits, and she started going off "I don't care if you're trying to lose weight, we're eating TOGETHER as a family, and eating THE SAME FOODS, like a family. The world doesn't revolve around you!"
    And I'm like jeez, okay.

    Argh. Moms.

    Wow, I just came from the other post you did about the people in the park and what they said to you. Sounds like you are getting it from all directions.

    I am sorry your mother is not supportive of your efforts. Fortunately, you are old enough that you can be preparing to move out soon, whether to college, or maybe with a roommate. It sounds like that should happen sooner rather than later if you are not even allowed to make your own food choices in your own home.

    I am curious, is your mother overweight? If so she might be subconsciously trying to sabotage your efforts. If not, maybe she just doesn't get it. A lot of people who can eat as they please can't understand why those of us who cannot make such a big deal about what we do or don't eat.

    I wish you well.
  • staclo
    staclo Posts: 511 Member
    Options
    Wooh, hallelujah to this thread.
    My mom gets angry if I ask if I can make my own dinner, because she makes just HORRIBLE stuff (not taste, just unhealthy). She's a pro cook, and so she never really worried about fats or anything, she just puts it in.
    So then she mentioned what we were having for dinner, and I asked if I could make my own to stay under my limits, and she started going off "I don't care if you're trying to lose weight, we're eating TOGETHER as a family, and eating THE SAME FOODS, like a family. The world doesn't revolve around you!"
    And I'm like jeez, okay.

    Argh. Moms.

    Wow, I just came from the other post you did about the people in the park and what they said to you. Sounds like you are getting it from all directions.

    I am sorry your mother is not supportive of your efforts. Fortunately, you are old enough that you can be preparing to move out soon, whether to college, or maybe with a roommate. It sounds like that should happen sooner rather than later if you are not even allowed to make your own food choices in your own home.

    I am curious, is your mother overweight? If so she might be subconsciously trying to sabotage your efforts. If not, maybe she just doesn't get it. A lot of people who can eat as they please can't understand why those of us who cannot make such a big deal about what we do or don't eat.

    I wish you well.

    Even though her profile says she's 18, she also states that she's a freshman in high school, so she may be stuck in the house for a while still. That would be tough!
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    Options
    My grandmother told me that mothers have the right to give advice until their children are 40 or grown up, whichever comes later :laugh:

    I think all mothers do this in one way or another, not always from a bad place, but mom's always look at you as their baby. I have just learned over the years not to bring certain things up, it's easier :wink:
  • staclo
    staclo Posts: 511 Member
    Options
    My grandmother told me that mothers have the right to give advice until their children are 40 or grown up, whichever comes later :laugh:

    I think all mothers do this in one way or another, not always from a bad place, but mom's always look at you as their baby. I have just learned over the years not to bring certain things up, it's easier :wink:

    You know, I agree with this. However, the "something" that I brought up was eating. I was hungry! I love her, but she drives me crazy sometimes!!
  • leann_m_olson
    leann_m_olson Posts: 363 Member
    Options
    Wooh, hallelujah to this thread.
    My mom gets angry if I ask if I can make my own dinner, because she makes just HORRIBLE stuff (not taste, just unhealthy). She's a pro cook, and so she never really worried about fats or anything, she just puts it in.
    So then she mentioned what we were having for dinner, and I asked if I could make my own to stay under my limits, and she started going off "I don't care if you're trying to lose weight, we're eating TOGETHER as a family, and eating THE SAME FOODS, like a family. The world doesn't revolve around you!"
    And I'm like jeez, okay.

    Argh. Moms.

    Have her watch the show 'Cooking Yourself Thin' they teach you how to cut the calories on everyday recipes. Great show!
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    Options
    My grandmother told me that mothers have the right to give advice until their children are 40 or grown up, whichever comes later :laugh:

    I think all mothers do this in one way or another, not always from a bad place, but mom's always look at you as their baby. I have just learned over the years not to bring certain things up, it's easier :wink:

    You know, I agree with this. However, the "something" that I brought up was eating. I was hungry! I love her, but she drives me crazy sometimes!!

    Well, it doesn't matter if your mother is thin or fat, mine is fat and bringing up any meals, exercise etc turns into an unwanted advice etc etc etc. This is obviously a sore spot and if you can't say to your mom that YOU need to eat something without her making it into something that irritates you then that is an area you may need to find away around. We all love them and they all make us nuts! You're not alone :wink:

Categories