How do you deal with negativity?

dawnstrassburg
dawnstrassburg Posts: 46
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
I have been doing this for three weeks and I have lost nine pounds (my goal is 46.5). I feel great, I have more energy, I feel healthier, my clothes are fitting me better and I find myself happier. Yet today I had a "friend" telling me I could do better, and would if I ate oatmeal (which I can't stand) for breakfast (I usually have a yoplait light), and that i wasnt healthy becuse I eat a lean cusine for lunch. I mean i work 52 hours a week, I am lucky I have the time to heat up the meal and eat it. I eat lean protiens for dinner and include a salad, brown rice, low carb pasta ect. In the evening i have a snack, it may be pretzles, special K cracker chips or a skinny cow ice cream. On weekends my eating habits are less than perfect but i still stick to my calories, fat, carbs ect. I think I am doing pretty good but this so-called-friend really upset me. How does everyone else deal with neagativity? :sad:
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Replies

  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    Some FRIEND ya got there :noway: :noway:

    That said...........you are doing exceptionally well. 9 lbs in 3 weeks? Hell, it took me 3 months to lose 9 lbs :wink:

    Forget that stupid friend. Look at what YOU'RE doing........and how it's working, and that you 'find yourself happier'. BE HAPPY....and let the negative nancies spew their crap, as you tune them out and continue on your merry path!

    Much Success to you!
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
    I react positively, since I assume she is only trying to help and not trying to be rude –

    “Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate that you care about me and my desire to be healthy and lose weight. I’d like to continue doing it the way I have been for now and see how it goes. I am eating food I love and so far I’m doing pretty well!”

    Done.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Most people like that really think they're helping.. Do your own research and figure out whose advice is valid and who is full of crap.
  • Nic620
    Nic620 Posts: 553 Member
    You rid yourself of it.
  • WilliamsPeggy
    WilliamsPeggy Posts: 440 Member
    You're doing great! Ignore your friend.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    I usually tell people like that off. Once a know it all is snapped at a few times they usually tend to leave that particular person alone.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I just dont care,in one ear and out the other. Its great to live life not giving a *kitten* what others think.
  • dolfn1972
    dolfn1972 Posts: 84 Member
    I agree...stay positive. Thank her for her advice but this is whats working for you. 9 Lbs in 3 weeks is awesome.

    Some people just always think they know what is best for everyone about everything.

    Good luck and keep it up ..or down in this case :wink: :drinker:
  • stephevers1227
    stephevers1227 Posts: 175 Member
    I agree. "This is working so far, but I'll remember that if I hit a plateau and need to shake things up." I have the friend telling me she'd love to lose weight like I am but she doesn't have time to exercise. Um, I work 2 jobs, husband and daughter, household to run...she's single. You do what works for you and take the rest with a grain of salt.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    My eating habits and weight loss are off limits as a topic of conversation for this very reason. Change the subject and if she persists, tell her you don't want to discuss it.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Clearly you need to punch her in the face.
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    Meh, ignore her. You're kicking butt, and you know it!
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    Oh hi negativity how ya doin? It's time for you to be gone now. Anchor's away! *splash*
  • Amf5627622
    Amf5627622 Posts: 93
    I typically ignore it. If they had good intentions and are sharing what works for them, I don't want to offend them for trying to help me. Or if their intentions are to criticize my choices, I don't want to get into a back and forth with them- there are some crazies on here! You have the results that show your way is working for you. Keep up the great effort!
  • damonmath
    damonmath Posts: 359 Member
    I understand what your friend is saying... but disagree with the approach.

    Lean cuisines can make you retain water since they are mostly packed with preservatives like salt. Yoplait light has sugar in it which can be bad first thing in the morning.

    Personally, I would follow what works and take the advice for what it is. I generally brush off negativity as I have witnessed positive results myself first hand.

    As long as you r calories are in check you will continue to lose. :)
  • Music_is_my_soul
    Music_is_my_soul Posts: 792 Member
    Prove your friend wrong. Challenge that person to lose the same amount of weight as you in that short of a time and keep it off... They will find its harder than they think. Or tell your friend that if they knew what they were talking about. Anymore than 3lbs a week is UN HEALTHY. They say that even 2 lbs a week is un healthy. But I feel that its ok to lose 2 - 3 lbs a week safely.

    Keep doing what you are doing and forget about what your friend is saying. You are doing this for you! Not them... And you are doing GREAT if you ask me!
  • LelliAmi
    LelliAmi Posts: 327 Member
    Usually I ask negative people if they wanna play "hide and go *kitten* yourself". They usually keep their crappy opinions to themselves after that. :)
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    smile and nod
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
    I personally give them a fake half smile as I chuckle in my head at their bad advice. In this case I would be thinking "Bwahahahahahaha! She force feeds herself oatmeal to lose weight and I'm over here eating real food and doing just fine! hehehe."
  • ronniekh
    ronniekh Posts: 35
    With a lot of Sarcasm and "kill 'em with kindness" remarks. I almost have it down to a science! When people give me crap about losing weight, I simply look them up and down like they shouldn't say anything at all, look them in the eye and say well you don't understand you're already so pretty but with so much attitude they know that I want to punch them in the face! :) We're stronger because we're motivated!
  • Mera_Mera
    Mera_Mera Posts: 153
    I don't see it as 'being negative'. I think she/he just made a suggestion. Just take it like a grain of salt. If you feel that you are doing all right, then, just nod off to her/his comment and continue doing what you are doing.

    I usually ignore negative comments. I do refrain from being offensive, since I don't like to be all in people's face. I take the positive out of the negative and strive to prove to that person in particular that I'm doing this for me!

    But in my opinion, it seems to me that you are doing great. Eat more fruits in the morning, instead of a Yoplait. They aren't as healthy as you might think. But again, you've lost 9 lbs in three weeks! That's amazing! I'm happy for you! Continue doing what's good for you! May you reach all your goals!
  • bricktowngal
    bricktowngal Posts: 206
    I think you are doing great. This so-called friend, isn't much of a friend if you ask me. She/he should be applauding your weight loss not telling you what you are doing wrong (in their mind). Is this friend "smaller" than you? Is she/he a weight loss expert? Is she/he maybe jealous of you and your success? Tell them, you like what you see, you are seeing results and thank you for your hmmm opinion, but keep it to yourself.

    At least that's what I would say.

    Keep up the good work!
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
    Never complain, never explain! Just say, thanks I just feel so much better for losing some weight.
  • steffiejoe
    steffiejoe Posts: 313 Member
    Sounds like she is only trying to be helpful. If she did not care she would just sit back and watch you eat the wrong things. Not that what you are eating is bad or anything. She just suggested some healthier options.
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    It's possible your friend thinks she's being supportive by giving you ideas on how to lose more. Have a talk with her and let her know that you would find it better that she would celebrate your small successes with you. I had to do something similar with my mom a few years ago and she has since changed.
  • Shabnam222
    Shabnam222 Posts: 35 Member
    oh man I had a boss that was like this. She was probably 150 lbs overweight and I don't think she could stand me making better choices. She told me the opposite- that oatmeal is what wrestlers use to get big and yeah my smart ones had too much sodium. i would just say something like 'it's working for me!!'
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Most people like that really think they're helping.. Do your own research and figure out whose advice is valid and who is full of crap.

    This.

    Different things work for different people and while those things may have helped that person... it doesn't mean they'll help you too. Figure out what works for you and toss the rest of it away.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    Yoplait light has sugar in it which can be bad first thing in the morning.

    Why would sugar be bad in the morning?
  • serenity216
    serenity216 Posts: 512 Member
    Agreed! Frenemies are a waste of time!
    You're doing great! Ignore your friend.
  • jean1058
    jean1058 Posts: 86 Member
    How does everyone else deal with neagativity? :sad:

    Stick your tongue out at her..... do the "end zone dance" and know that she is JEALOUS. Keep doing what you are doing YOUR way and ignore her. YOU are actually doing something for yourself and she isn't, so how the heck could she possibly know what works for you? :noway: Heck, what works for you might not work for me or anyone else, so who is she to rain on your parade?

    I say let it go in one ear and out the other. I still kinda like sticking my tongue out when they aren't looking. :laugh:

    Here's to you & your progress! You GO! :flowerforyou:
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