How do you deal with negativity?
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Clearly you need to punch her in the face.
Wow I was thinking exactly the same thing. LOL
Nah I'm dealing with the same BS from self assessed helpful friends, the biggest thing ppl don't understand everyone has different tastes and responsibilities, sure I could eat just rabbit food "or not", sure I could train with you for the upcoming race "or not"
What is good for the goose ain't good for the gander (hell my cats even like different food) I just nod and smile0 -
My friends have been supportive and just ask 'how's the diet going?' Which means I can give as much or as little detail as I want,I usually just say 'its going well,thanks for asking' It's my family that are a bit less supportive. So far I have had (on more than one occasion) 'have you ACTUALLY lost any weight?' As if they don't think its possible and 'are you ACTUALLY sticking to it?' This makes me want to prove them all wrong!
Just think how good it will be to see her face when you hit her goal despite ignoring her "advice"0 -
And just why is sugar bad in the morning? :huh:I understand what your friend is saying... but disagree with the approach.
Lean cuisines can make you retain water since they are mostly packed with preservatives like salt. Yoplait light has sugar in it which can be bad first thing in the morning.
Personally, I would follow what works and take the advice for what it is. I generally brush off negativity as I have witnessed positive results myself first hand.
As long as you r calories are in check you will continue to lose.
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FYI i do not know why this stupid ticker thingy wont post...lol
I personally use it as motivation.:explode: Think of this way the reason they are being negative to you is because they dont have the will power to do it themselves and thier jelous that you do have that.
Remember this is for you!:happy: This is to change your life and make you healthier. Forget them if they were you friend they would be tearing you down sister:glasses: you go girl show them whos boss!0 -
OP: First of all, you are doing GREAT.
Next, your friend is wrong unless the oatmeal you are replacing your breakfast with is lower in calories than your yoplait and I'm willing to bet that
A) It's not, therefore he's wrong.
If it is, not by much.
Lastly, don't let it get to you regardless as I'm sure whether or not he's right isn't your concern right now. What you are doing is working for you and congrats.
You keep doing what you need to do and disregard anyone being negative about it. So far you're doing excellent.0 -
I say to my kids at work, "I am sorry you feel that way" and move on. You don't need mz. negativity bursting your weight loss bubble.
You are doing great, do what works for you and remain positive.0 -
keep doing what's working for you!0
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Something I have learned in my short life of 21yrs is that.... Most friends, at least ones I have had are never genuinly happy for you when something good happens to you. Idk if it's jealousy, envy or just they don't know how to be happy for somebody but it can also be that they were never in your situation and can't relate or they are but haven't lost weight..... All I know is I keep my head up and do it for me and my satisfaction not anyone elses.
Good luck 0 -
What exactly do you have to "deal" with?
Just say "ok"
ETA: and if you have to, stab a hobo.0 -
Wow this "friend" needs to find something to put over his or her mouth!!! You are doing great it sounds to me!!! If you are losing weight at a slow and steady pace that is fine. Chances are it won’t come back if you do it that way. As far as dealing with the negativity I don't really have much in my life and I'm thankful for that. Everyone is pretty supportive and my hubs is doing this with me. I would say to us MFP as your outlet to the negativity....we can be there for you!!! We can give you positive reinforcement! I also say if this "friend" keeps telling you something other than great job it’s time to lose more than the weight my friend!!!0
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Everyone has opinions and maybe valid one's. I am sure I could make much better eating choices. This is your journey not her's Trust It! You are doing fantastic and should be very proud of yourself. Walk away with a smile, you are accomplishing great things!0
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Sounds like you have some shallow jerk-off friends...Something I have learned in my short life of 21yrs is that.... Most friends, at least ones I have had are never genuinly happy for you when something good happens to you. Idk if it's jealousy, envy or just they don't know how to be happy for somebody but it can also be that they were never in your situation and can't relate or they are but haven't lost weight..... All I know is I keep my head up and do it for me and my satisfaction not anyone elses. Good luck0 -
I take it out on hobos by stabbing them.
how very contrary of you!
:devil: :devil: :devil:0 -
First of all, bravo to you for 9 lbs lost! Secondly, I think what you're doing is great! If you force yourself to eat things you hate and cut out all of the things you love completely, you'll never stick to it. You want to be good most of the time, rather than great for a short period of time and then have a huge relapse into old bad habits. Thirdly, you have to do what works for you. I, too, eat Lean Cuisine type meals during work days. It's easy, low in calories and high in protein and has a serving of veggies as well. I have a 2-year old daughter and work full time, so I need convenient and easy options that don't take a lot of prep when I'm getting ready for work. And lastly, I'm sorry your "friend" acted like that towards you, rather than celebrating your success with you, like s/he should be doing.
Keep your head up, be the better person. You are doing great!0 -
i just tell people thanks for the insight and advice and i will consider trying it out..i have a friend who is trying to push some soup recipe on me that does not sound appetizing at all for me..i hate zucchini and all she talks about is how delicious the zucchini is in the soup ..and she complains about my weight lifting and says i dont need to lift weights the way i do at my age.. she conducts classes for zumba and other aerobic workouts and to me looks way older than me when she is six years younger and is a bag of bones..i dont see muscle tone in here like i do in myself .. different strokes for different folks i guess..however she is my friend so i just smile and say thanks and throw the recipe in the garbage lol
stick with us ..we are positive on here0 -
I'd ask her how much weight she lost eating oatmeal and fresh lunches. She's just a know-it all. The best thing to do is to tell her what you are doing is working for you and you'll be open for suggestions when it stops. A 3 pound a week average is awesome and she can shove it!0
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It is possible that your friend is threatened by your sucess, she may fear that with this life change you are making that she could lose you to a new life you will find or maybe she just doenst deal with change very well. Even if that change is happening in or for someone else.
If she is a good close friend I would hope that you can sit down and talk to her about what you are trying to do for yourself and tell her you need her support not to be tore down. If that doesnt work and you still wish to be friends then you will have to just ignore the negative and go with the positive. If she isnt that close then cut the ties now.. She has shown her true colors.
Or there is the possibility that you are extra sensitive to her feedback. You didnt get the feedback you wanted/needed so it felt extra hurtful?
If you truly want to make a life change such as weight loss then you will need to surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
Maybe she has tried to lose weight and it hasnt worked for her. She could be jealous.. The possibilities are endless.
We all face negatives in our lives on a daily basis. Depending on how you choose to deal with it will reflect on you..0 -
Next time, you see her eating any prepared food, tell her, she might ruins her health.0
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I have been doing this for three weeks and I have lost nine pounds (my goal is 46.5). I feel great, I have more energy, I feel healthier, my clothes are fitting me better and I find myself happier. Yet today I had a "friend" telling me I could do better, and would if I ate oatmeal (which I can't stand) for breakfast (I usually have a yoplait light), and that i wasnt healthy becuse I eat a lean cusine for lunch. I mean i work 52 hours a week, I am lucky I have the time to heat up the meal and eat it. I eat lean protiens for dinner and include a salad, brown rice, low carb pasta ect. In the evening i have a snack, it may be pretzles, special K cracker chips or a skinny cow ice cream. On weekends my eating habits are less than perfect but i still stick to my calories, fat, carbs ect. I think I am doing pretty good but this so-called-friend really upset me. How does everyone else deal with neagativity? :sad:
I always say "Thank you, I'll take it into consideration." And then secretly flip them off when I walk away and smile. :laugh:0 -
There will always be people with an opinion they think is better than yours. You have to learn how to turn it off. Tell her that for now this is working for you. I have found that when I make extreme changes I fail anyways. So If your trying and its working keep going. Always remember to research for yourself. Keep it up, 9 lbs is awesome!! 0
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I have only lost 3 lbs in a month and I'm frustrated! All I do is go, always moving til evening. I'm doing what appears to be everything right. Frustrated today~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~0
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I think sometimes people can be really critical about others (their exercise, diet, appearance, etc etc) to make themselves feel more valid, like their way of doing it is better. Or maybe out of anger or spite that they aren't doing as great as you are. I generally hope that this isn't the case with your "friend" and they they had good intentions, but I have met some people who refuse to be happy for others and just have to throw in their bit of rain on your parade.
But, like a previous poster mentioned; a good punch in the face can work wonders :-) I wonder how many calories that burns? 0 -
:laugh: Bless her heart!....0
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i just tell people thanks for the insight and advice and i will consider trying it out..i have a friend who is trying to push some soup recipe on me that does not sound appetizing at all for me..i hate zucchini and all she talks about is how delicious the zucchini is in the soup ..and she complains about my weight lifting and says i dont need to lift weights the way i do at my age.. she conducts classes for zumba and other aerobic workouts and to me looks way older than me when she is six years younger and is a bag of bones..i dont see muscle tone in here like i do in myself .. different strokes for different folks i guess..however she is my friend so i just smile and say thanks and throw the recipe in the garbage lol
stick with us ..we are positive on here
Yeah, because zumba and aerobics prevents osteoperosis.... :laugh:0 -
I personally give them a fake half smile as I chuckle in my head at their bad advice. In this case I would be thinking "Bwahahahahahaha! She force feeds herself oatmeal to lose weight and I'm over here eating real food and doing just fine! hehehe."
Uh, oatmeal IS real food. Just FYI.0 -
I choose to think of it this way:
"That person cares about me enough to give me advice, this takes courage and it must be coming from a good place"
What do i do:
Thank you, I appreciate you feel comfortable enough with me to offer your advice, i get a lot of advice from people and its always different, right now i am trying to find out what works for me, i will definatly look into what you suggested.
Works every time and for some reason the advise giver always walks away looking very pleased with themselves, and I am free to continue doing what i am doing, but FYI sometimes the advice is actually good so thinking about it may not always be a bad idea 0 -
I have to agree that it sounds like she is just trying to be helpful by offering advice. I would take it for that and nothing more and don't let yourself go to a place of negativity. I think by assuming that this friend is trying to put you down that you let yourself think of it in a negative way. Put a positive spin on it and do what you need to do.
Everyone is different and will need to do different things to lose weight. One person favorite exercise is another persons least favorite. What works for one person may not for another. If what you are doing is working then just thank her for the advice and continue on. Congratulations on the loss!!0 -
You're doing great!!!! Keep up the good work!!!:flowerforyou:0
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You are doing just fine the way you are doing it. Stick to your ways if it works and just smile at people trying to give you advice and do your own thing. Congratulations on your shredded pounds 0
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i have a friend who is trying to push some soup recipe on me..she is a zumba instructor and boney as all hell and thinks she has weight to lose.. she is also six years younger than me and looks way older than i do.. however i value our friendship alot and so i graciously accept the advice and do my own thing.. i dont like the ingredients she has in her soup recipe so i can relate to you on the oatmeal advice..although i eat oatmeal almost every day now because i like oatmeal anyway.
my friend also does not understand my need to lift weights..she doesnt think its necessary.. i happen to enjoy it whether its necessary or not so i continue to do it.. i was going to train with her till she gave me a trial and stuck 5lb weights in my hand..im benching 160lbs so what the hell am i going to do with 5lb weights ?? lol i had to make up a story and say she lives too far for me because i didnt want to hurt her feelings0
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