A long road ahead, but looking forward to the journey

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fatgirlruns
fatgirlruns Posts: 25
in Introduce Yourself
Lindsay here. First some stats: 27 years old; 5'7"; SW - 222 pounds; GW - 140

Why I'm joining MFP: I'm surrendering myself to the idea that I can do this on my own, all by myself, without help. I'm letting go of the shame that I carry around with me. I am no longer in denial of what I've become and that my weight it is affecting my life and the lives of those I love. I'm now going to confront the reasons why I use food as a way to comfort myself and not use food as a means of avoidance. I'm going to be honest with myself. I'm not going to expect perfection, but I will appreciate my imperfections and learn from my stumbles. The choices I make each day have consequences - good or bad. Never again will I tell myself that I'll just start on Monday.

I'm really excited to be here and am already learning and finding camaraderie and inspiration from posts and success stories. I'm here to gain my life back, to participate in it fully. For the majority of my life, and my entire adult life, my weight has been the leading character. The devil on my shoulder. I have let it hold me back from being the best I can be. And, because of the shame I feel all day, every day, I have wanted to solve the problem all by myself, and not let anybody in.

But, I'm breaking down that wall of shame that I've built up, and that's why I'm here. The majority of those in my life don't truly understand the challenges I face or how to help me. And, that's not their fault or job to solve my problems. I'm much like an addict, only food is my drug of choice. I suffer from depression, and I suspect that my weight is a major trigger for that. I avoid anything social because I wear my addiction and its effects for everybody to see. You can't hide this addiction.

Here, though, there is a community of those who know the struggles intimately. And that community provides us all unstoppable power to encourage success for each one of us, no matter what success looks like.

So, I'm the new girl here, hoping to find friends so we can help each other realize our own success and overcome what has all weighed us down for far too long.

Replies

  • TorridSkies4
    TorridSkies4 Posts: 94
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    Wow, reading this gave me goosebumps. I know how you feel. As a teenager I struggled with anorexia and bulimia, as an adult I've watched my weight balloon from 117 lbs, to 170 lbs. I'm ready to lose this weight that's been holding me back, and gain back my confidence.

    We can do this!!!
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
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    We have very simular stats :) I started around 230's and now i'm in the 130's.... :flowerforyou:

    First off welcome, this is a great site with ALOT of support and guidance to help you get back on track. :) Don't be ashamed to ask for help though, that's what many of us are here, to get help and motiviation when we need it the most. Statistics show that people who track their food and have a strong support network are more successful and lose more weight than those who go it alone.

    Good luck to you and your journey, I know you going to do great!:heart:
  • Hoolie24
    Hoolie24 Posts: 2
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    I agree, we are all here to help each other. Don't cheat yourself by not logging food, it really helps you connect with what you are eating.

    I grabbed an exercise buddy and we hold each other accountable for showing up at the gym. I signed up for a 5k to force myself to start moving! You can do it......we are all in it together!

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    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
  • babyh2011
    babyh2011 Posts: 1
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    Hi Everyone
    This is only my 3rd week and probably my hardest so far. reading everyones stories and seeing how well you have all done is really inspriring. I hope in months to come I can be an inspiration to others also.
  • tanigrrrrr
    tanigrrrrr Posts: 137 Member
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    Food addiction is awful, mainly because we have to have some every day to keep us alive. Tell a heroin addict that they have to still have it every day but control the amount that they have to 1/4 of a hit and see how well it goes. Food addiction is very under rated and I completely feel your pain.

    Sometimes it can be hard to take an honest look at yourself, but if it motivates you to make better choices, the harshness definately pays off ten fold.

    You have taken the hardest step, making a decision to do the hard work and get out of the rutt. Congratulations!

    I know that you will be successful in your ventures with the help of all the wonderful people on this site :)
  • fatgirlruns
    fatgirlruns Posts: 25
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    @cutiekimmie18 - 96 pounds. Wow. Congratulations to you and thanks for continuing to give to this site and to members here. Your success is truly an inspiration to us just starting this journey!!

    I joined this site because I'm finally ready to ask for help and find supportive people who understand. No more excuses. And I'm tracking every morsel that goes into my mouth. And I'm weighing and measuring to make sure that I'm not just guessing. The only way I'm going to get where I want to go is by being honest.

    Thanks for the support!!
  • fatgirlruns
    fatgirlruns Posts: 25
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    @tanigrrrrr - I think that some are starting to see food addiction like other addictions, an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. Until it is widely accepted, we have to fight those stereotypes.

    Thanks for the encouragement. I have found that avoiding the reality is a lot more awful than actually being honest in the first place.
  • fatgirlruns
    fatgirlruns Posts: 25
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    @babyh2011 - Keep up the good work. None of us are going to be perfect here, but we are all here to provide encouragement when it is needed. You got this!!

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