We are here to support eachother... Not to troll.

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VodkaSalad37
VodkaSalad37 Posts: 66 Member
in Food and Nutrition
It makes me sad that there are so many trolls on a site like this.
I was reading through the message boards and saw a lot of really mean replies or just awful advice.

I find this a site where I can ask questions about my concerns and make friends with people with similar goals.

A few minutes ago, I saw a message board topic titled "reaching 1200 calories". I posted a similar topic last night with similar questions-- about being worried about being full and not consuming enough calories.

I was shocked at some of the replies. Especially ones that said things on the lines of "how did you get to be so fat if you can't eat more than 800 calories"

Here's my defense:

1. I doubt any member on here is a doctor or nutritionist.
2. I highly doubt that we all know each other personally-- and we don't know each others past or diet history.

That leads me to this: over 8 years ago, before becoming pregnant with my son, I would go days with out eating. I was obsessed with how I looked, I was really weak. I lost a ton of weight the first few months of pregnancy and my doctor told me that I could lose the baby.

I gained 80 pounds in my pregnancy, and have been bouncing around another 20.

When my son was 3, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which runs in my family- my mom and both her sisters have it.

Infertility, weird hormones, weird periods, the fact that it's impossible to lose weight.

My son is going to be 8 in April. This site is my support. I need it. Don't hurt me. Be nice.

Don't bash me because I eat weight watchers frozen meals twice a day. You would too if you were trying to run a household and raise a son by yourself, work 50 hours a week and trying to study for a career change.

Don't bash me because I'm frightened that I will stop eating again.

Don't bash me or anyone else for trying to do their best.

Love,
Alex
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Replies

  • TCASMEY
    TCASMEY Posts: 1,405 Member
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    AMEN!
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    :yawn:

    Seriously? This again?
  • dragonfiel
    dragonfiel Posts: 7
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    I agree with ya 100%
  • sarahgilmore
    sarahgilmore Posts: 572 Member
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    Be nice?

    What's nice about seeing someone going down a path of long-term failure and ill health and NOT trying to get some sense into them before it's too late?
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 378 Member
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    Beautifully said. When you're already feeling insecure and vulnerable, the least thing can derail you.
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
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    I know you just recently joined so I'll tell you that most people on here will really try to be helpful. I'm sorry you got such mean responses but don't let that make you gve up on asking for help.
  • skinnyma1974
    skinnyma1974 Posts: 15
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    I really think mean and cruel people should just quit. they are really mean. Good luck and know you can do it
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
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    I agree with you on a lot of this. This has to be said though, if you have vodka salads daily that most likely isnt helping the problem :-)
  • dchris99
    dchris99 Posts: 56 Member
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    "Beautifully said. When you're already feeling insecure and vulnerable, the least thing can derail you. "

    Exactly, there are many bigger issues when people are trying to lose weight.
  • LGOllie
    LGOllie Posts: 37 Member
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    I know you just recently joined so I'll tell you that most people on here will really try to be helpful. I'm sorry you got such mean responses but don't let that make you gve up on asking for help.

    I agree! Most people are caring and helpful! I just know you are going to make many nice friends! Ignore the ugly and keep moving forward!
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Be nice?

    What's nice about seeing someone going down a path of long-term failure and ill health and NOT trying to get some sense into them before it's too late?

    I believe the phrase "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar" applies here. You can be informative and make the person aware of their errors without being mean or berating them. Sure there are times when we'd all like to yell, but given this is a community meant for support and help, not nagging, it's better to bite your tongue than to upset someone.
  • ROCKERFOREVER81
    ROCKERFOREVER81 Posts: 109
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    Don't worry about the trolls, don't let their negative energy affect your goals. You can do it and no one will stop you. Take care and hugs for you :)
  • amandaepope
    amandaepope Posts: 15
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    WELL SAID ALEX, and you did it with love too!
  • Hungry_Tuna
    Hungry_Tuna Posts: 361 Member
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    Beautifully said. When you're already feeling insecure and vulnerable, the least thing can derail you.

    I agree with this. Thank you for posting that. It IS a support site, not sure why people have been so mean these days. It's sad.
  • millionsofpeaches
    millionsofpeaches Posts: 372
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    I feel for you and people can be harsh. Just try not to take it seriously... Focus on the positive and not the negative.

    One thing I will say regarding your post... I would not say that you doubt that there are any doctors or nutritionists on this site. I am friends with a nutritionist who uses this site and have seen multiple posts from doctors, nurses, and nutritionists.

    Regardless... Anything that is posted on here should be taken with a grain of salt and it is not written in stone. Advice is different than fact. So, while you may look for support on here it is important to remember that in the end following what your doctor tells you is what is best for you. If you solicit advice from people on this site then you have to be prepared to hear the answers. People aren't always going to type back what you want to hear. It doesn't mean that you have to listen to them but you can't get upset when they are honest. To me, eating 800 calories a day seems low. But you seem confident in what you are doing so why do you care what others say? Then again... That is just my advice.
  • jazzalea
    jazzalea Posts: 412 Member
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    Be nice?

    What's nice about seeing someone going down a path of long-term failure and ill health and NOT trying to get some sense into them before it's too late?

    I agree.... Sometimes supporting someone means opening their eyes to a tip or a trick or a personal experience.

    But No one has the right to bash someone else's attempt. They can either explain their own personal concerns or shut up.... There is no one answer and the dumbest things work for different people....
  • JayneWilson1963
    JayneWilson1963 Posts: 543 Member
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    Be nice?

    What's nice about seeing someone going down a path of long-term failure and ill health and NOT trying to get some sense into them before it's too late?

    I believe the phrase "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar" applies here. You can be informative and make the person aware of their errors without being mean or berating them. Sure there are times when we'd all like to yell, but given this is a community meant for support and help, not nagging, it's better to bite your tongue than to upset someone.

    This..well said
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    You will learn to notice the difference between mean trolls, and brutally honest peeps trying to help. It seems you may be grouping them together atm.

    If you were doing something you didnt know was dangerous, would you rather we just said "yay, go for it" when we know its dangerous, or that we actually told you the truth?

    Some people really dont like harsh truths.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Here for you, sister!
    I have dealt with similar things in health and I understand how you look for the nice ways to say things to open people's eyes.
    There is being helpful and there is being a jerk. Sometimes the line is thin. But we, as human beings, need to learn to communicate effectively and snide comments are not effective.

    XOX
    Meg
  • DaniJeanine
    DaniJeanine Posts: 473 Member
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    I am so sorry that people are being mean to you--especially the ones above who posted rude things on this very post. I agree with you 100%. If people have negative thoughts they should keep them to themselves instead of intentionally voicing them to belittle others. They should be ashamed. You should be proud that you've reached a level of awareness where you recognize your problem, and are taking active steps and seeking support to get through it. Good luck with your journey back to wellness :-)
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