But YOU don't need to be on a diet!!

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startover
startover Posts: 37
in Motivation and Support
That's what I get all the time. Even from my hubby, which was one of the reasons I quit MFP last time. HE still eats what he wants in front of me and he "likes the curves I have put on". He has stayed the same trim weight for years, no exercise, no nothing.
In middle school I was accused of being anorexic, and when I got married my Dr. made me gain weight so I could get pregnant. Now, two kids and several years later my metabolism is not what it used to be and I lost my nice body. I used to eat whatever I wanted and not gain one ounce, and now I can see the bad eating habits actually sticking to my legs and stomach. I am embarrassed to even admit to my coworkers that I am trying to loose weight. Every time I pass on goodies at work, they laugh at me and say "oh, you're not fat you can eat some". My hubby rolls his eyes at me when I make remarks about being on a diet. It sucks. My 15 lbs I want to loose is just as emotional and important to me as someone else's 50 lbs. I was at 130 last year and want to be down to 115. It is really hard for me because I LOOOOOVE food. I feel it is torture to stop eating at my calorie goal but still be starving. Frustrating.
If there are any other gals out there that just have a few lbs to loose I would really like some support since I am not getting much in my life.
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Replies

  • thesameas
    thesameas Posts: 65 Member
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    I'm here with you :). I'm in the completely normal weight range for my height/age/ect. but would like to be more fit and tone up. I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone, but I've found I get hated on my friends at birthdays and things for not eating the cake. The only thing other people have noticed is my increse in exersice, which they only really know about i because it'd been brought up in a conversation or something every now and then. I really know how you feel, the whole "You're not fat! You don't need to watch what you eat." really annoys me. Don't they realise that if I wasn't eating/living this way I would be 'fat'?
  • crazybeautifulkittie
    crazybeautifulkittie Posts: 86 Member
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    Ha. I just posted about this. I'm still so fired up about these senseless comments. Its like, "did I ask for you dang opinion?" If not please keep them to yourself. Plus since when is eating cake ever a good thing? Sure its yummy, but the yummy-ness goes straight to my pooch and I don't need that. Plus people seem to have very loose ideas of what is "fat". Sometimes I feel like people call other people "not fat" to make themselves feel better about being unhealthy. As long as you do it in a healthy way I say, "Go for it".

    I myself have like 17 pounds to lose, its not 15 but its close. And yes it sucks counting calories and it sucks not being able to eat as much. But the numbers going down on the scale are worth it. Even 5 pounds makes a big difference on terms of how it looks. Don't let the naysayers and non-supporters get in your way.
  • lunaluna671
    lunaluna671 Posts: 23
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    Hey im with ya grlie! My coworkers say im in good shape but according to me i want to be at 130-135lbs.. So therefore i must lose anywhere from 10-15lbs.
  • missfluffyuk
    missfluffyuk Posts: 245
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    Tell him you're not on a "diet" -- you'd just rather live healthier.

    My BF understands my wanting to lose weight, even though he thinks I'm beautiful as-is. But he can see how upset I get when I can't find something to wear because everything makes me look fat, and he's very supportive.
  • ally134
    ally134 Posts: 1
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    I only want to lose around 7lbs. I lost 3 stone 5 years ago and its sheer hard work that has kept it off since. However, after xmas i have gained 4lbs so want to get back down before my holiday in May. People tell me i am fine as i am but i need to constantly eat healthily to stay at this weight. One day of bad eating can easily put 2lbs on me which will take me 2 weeks to get back off. I totally understand where you are coming from and how annoying this must be for you. Like the other guys said - just say you are healthy eating, not on a diet and smile and refuse the goodies. Good luck xx
  • inge88
    inge88 Posts: 184 Member
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    I know how you feel, I get the comments all the time too.
    I no longer say I am on a diet.. I say I am trying to eat healthy. This makes a huge difference in the reaction of people for some reason. Dieting sounds extreme, eating healthy sounds good.
  • empressM
    empressM Posts: 66
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    I completely understand!

    With MFP I'm now down to 115 from 127 (my highest weight ever--not counting pregnancy), but still need to lose several more pounds to get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. It has been hard and though it may not seem like much to someone else, losing this weight has been huge for me. After having my son, my body is different and now I've got to work harder than I ever have to get back to where I want to be.

    I'm happy to send some support your way.

    Good luck to you!
  • MelsFitLife
    MelsFitLife Posts: 106 Member
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    I SOOO UNDERSTAND ! I STARTED AT 142.2 I KNOW WEIGH 127.8...IM SO EXCITED ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS BUT I COULDN'T TELL ANYONE THAT I WAS DIETING AND HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EVEN ENJOY MY WEIGHT LOSS BECAUSE I GET THE SAME NEGATIVE COMMENTS. I AM SO GLAD TO READ THESE POST AND KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE STRUGGLING THROUGH THIS. MY HUSBAND IS SUPPORTIVE BUT SAYS HE THINKS IM SKINNY EITHER WAY. MOST OF THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS COMES FROM PEOPLE NOT BEING HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES. THAT IS NO REASON TO RUIN SOMEONE ELSES JOY. I WOULD LOVE FOR THOSE THAT WANT TO LOSE IT LET ME CHEER THEM OWN AND KEEP THEM MOTIVATED AND IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE THE SAME TREATMENT. WE WILL GLADLY SUPPORT YOU HERE....YOU CAN DO THIS...I HAVE....I HAVE 2 MORE POUNDS TO REACH MY GOAL WEIGHT OF 125...THEN ITS TONE AND TIGHTEN ! I HOPE ALL THESE POSTS HAVE HELPED MOTIVATE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE SUPPORT YOU NEED :)
  • determinedsocialworker
    determinedsocialworker Posts: 108 Member
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    Well, I'm not in your category, but I hear people say it all the time, and often to me, as I am overweight and a big advocate of being healthy. I make a point of saying that people at every size still have a way they want to feel, a way they want their clothes to fit and just because they are smaller than me and I'd kill to be their size doesn't make what they want any less valid, important or emotional for them. Keep on going, ladies. Many people are so insecure that if YOU'RE saying it, they feel they definitely should be saying it.. but that is their issue... we can still be and feel beautiful while wanting to change and improve.. that's life! Just keep doing what you're doing... :)
  • qtiekiki
    qtiekiki Posts: 1,490 Member
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    Me me me. I hear that all the time. I am 5'3" and 107-112 lbs. I am not trying to lose weight, and had never said I was. I started working out and eating a little healthier because I wanted to be more toned. My belly has some loose skin from the babies that I want to get rid of. There are a couple other girls at work in the same or similar situations, and they understand. But everyone else are like "you are too skinny, you need to eat" or "I can see your ribs". Well you could see my ribs when I was pregnant too. I am pear shaped and my fat just doesn't go there. DH told me a couple weeks ago that he doesn't want me to be too skinny, but I told him that I am not losing weight and just want to tone. So he is supportive now. My mom and MIL also say that I am skinny and why am I exercising. So I explained to them that I am not losing weight or dieting, but I don't want to gain weight. To me, it's just maintenance and tone, so I don't gain weight and then have to lose it. It doesn't make sense to start the cycle of gaining and losing. Now they understand.

    Exercising + eating well doesn't = losing weight. It's a healthy lifestyle. I wish people can understand.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    If you're not clearly overweight, you're gonna get funny looks/comments when people find out you're trying to lose, that's just how it is. It's really just because of society's perceptions about weight loss and what's a normal size.

    I started out at 250, by the time I got to 200, all I heard was "Are you STILL losing MORE weight??"
  • PercivalHackworth
    PercivalHackworth Posts: 1,437 Member
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    +1
    Even worse here, people think I'm on diet, while I'm not, based on their misconception on diets : 1 month-extreme-I-eat-one-supper-a-day-and-I-suffer ( burn more muscle than fat in the end ^^ )
  • jenjames311
    jenjames311 Posts: 1
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    I am so glad that there are others like me who get the negative comments. I had my second baby about 10 weeks ago and have been really hard on myself about my weight. I am 5'4 and 145 and want to get to 130. Everyone says that I look great but I don't feel great. I don't have a lot to lose but I am not comfortable in my own skin and I hate this feeling. My husband can eat whatever he wants to, and does, and when I turn it down he wants to know why. He loves me no matter what but I need to love me as well. I think that what it comes down to is feeling good about yourself. I do not see a problem with watching what you eat and being healthy in order to be a happier you. Don't let what others say change your mind. Stick to it.
  • SoonToBeHealthNut
    SoonToBeHealthNut Posts: 24 Member
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    oh wow i have to agree with everyone on here....... i hated at work when they would offer me homemade cake and i would say "no thank you".... they would give me the dirties looks...... they would think that i just dont want it because they made it or its from them..... and it was sad because sometimes i just take it so i wont get the look or they wont start thinking i have something against them.......and if i ever said anything about trying to lose weight or the fact that i have gained weight i just hear so much hate and negative replies..... i never said i wanted to be skin and bones but when you see yourself slowly having to buy a larger size in jeans you start to worry and want to go back down to your original size no matter if its 5 pounds or 50 pounds you want to lose......
  • stephevers1227
    stephevers1227 Posts: 175 Member
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    Firstly, people are rude and should keep their comments to themselves unless they are positive. I've found the following comebacks to be very effective in shutting people up.

    1--Diabetes runs in my family so I don't want to overdo it on the sugar.
    2--My rheumatologist says keeping to the lower end of the normal range on weight is easier on my joints
    3--I have a box of clothes I'd love to be able to wear again and this is what it takes.
  • Shakila87
    Shakila87 Posts: 70
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    I go through the exact same thing I'm 150 now and I want to be 135 this lady at my job told me I would look like a skeleton if I lose anymore weight..Um, hello my stomach still hangs over my jeans!! I need help too the last few pounds or that little bit of weight to lose takes a hell of a lot of work I'm like wtf?? You can do it though!!
  • PercivalHackworth
    PercivalHackworth Posts: 1,437 Member
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    Firstly, people are rude and should keep their comments to themselves unless they are positive. I've found the following comebacks to be very effective in shutting people up.

    1--Diabetes runs in my family so I don't want to overdo it on the sugar.
    2--My rheumatologist says keeping to the lower end of the normal range on weight is easier on my joints
    3--I have a box of clothes I'd love to be able to wear again and this is what it takes.

    I'm trying not to lie, the strenght that lead us that far (being serious on diet) doesn't worth lying.
    Assuming is sometimes hard, but definitely better :p
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
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    I understand this all to well. My co-workers believe that I am some alien because I don't jump onto the goodie bandwagon. I don't go to lunch with anyone and I avoid the Friday pizza parties. And, you know what, I could care less. It is not up to someone else to decide what I decide to eat or not to eat. When I say no to something, I never say that I am on a diet. I just say no thank you. Unfortunately, food and friends are a combination and I tend to get left out of things so I will sometimes have a tiny bit of cake just to hang out with everyone. That won't hurt me and I can join in the conversation without people thinking I am a weirdo. That said, I do not go out to lunch. I literally start panicking when I look at the menu and have no idea what the calorie content is.
    As far as your husband, it is wonderful that he loves your curves, but you are doing this for you. I would strike the word DIET and just call it a lifestyle change. My husband is supportive of my healthy lifestyle and some of it has even rubbed off on him.

    PS: I weigh around 100 pounds at 5'2" and when people ask me what I weigh and they know that I eat salad for lunch, you should hear the comments that I get.
  • startover
    startover Posts: 37
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    Agreed! :)
    Dieting sounds extreme, eating healthy sounds good.
  • startover
    startover Posts: 37
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    Thanks everyone! I am glad I am not alone on this island lol. I think I will exchange the word "diet" with eating "healthier". Maybe it is just the stereotype of that word. :smile:

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