Unsupportive friends??

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Givemewings
Givemewings Posts: 864 Member
in Motivation and Support
Bemused by some people's reaction to me saying I've signed up for a 10k. Stupidly I suppose I was expecting support and for them to be pleased I handmade the commitment. It's a big deal for me.. Instead I have got , "Oh I ran a 10k a few years back. Should be fine."

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  • arlyn70
    arlyn70 Posts: 55
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    for me God is my supprortive and my self, i try many times before to share my weight loss with friends and even with my husband, and belive me.. they were the ones to bring me back to eat..

    so now.. i dont even go asking for anything im here for my self..
  • Gioooo
    Gioooo Posts: 301 Member
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    I see that comment as still being supportive. Just bc people weren't "applauding" you in the way you want to and giving you attention for this doesn't mean it should take away from how you feel about it. Not everyone is going to understand how something is important to you if they dont feel like its a big deal. If you want more supportive friends you should find new ones on here, theres plenty of people who are willing to say all the things you want to hear.
  • Macrocarpa
    Macrocarpa Posts: 121 Member
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    Congratulations! 10km is a decent distance and a really good challenge - many 'average' people wouldn't be able to run half that distance. Are you training your way up to it? Are there other groups you can join that can help? Often sports stores can give you a heads-up on running groups in your locale who may be a bit more supportive than your referent group.

    Now...playing devil's advocate, did you sign up for the 10km for THEM or did you sign up for YOU? For you, right?

    At the end of the day, you're the one that has to train for it, do it, and you're the one who's achieved it and gets to walk around proud as punch when it's over.

    So really, you have to do it for yourself - any support you get is a bonus.

    Good luck!
  • TheGoktor
    TheGoktor Posts: 1,138 Member
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    I see that comment as still being supportive. Just bc people weren't "applauding" you in the way you want to and giving you attention for this doesn't mean it should take away from how you feel about it. Not everyone is going to understand how something is important to you if they dont feel like its a big deal. If you want more supportive friends you should find new ones on here, theres plenty of people who are willing to say all the things you want to hear.

    I appreciate what you are saying, Gioooo, although I think that perhaps you could have been more tactful in the way you said it! I don't think it's unreasonable for Wings to expect her friends, particularly real-life ones, to understand how important this is to her, especially given what it's taken to get to this stage. I agree that the comment didn't seem to be unsupportive; however, I wasn't on the receiving end of it, and I'm guessing that had it not felt hurtful, Wings wouldn't have posted this topic, so I think it unfair you should imply that she doesn't actually want proper constructive support but would rather have empty platitudes. Or at least, that's how your post came across - you might not have meant it like that at all! :ohwell:

    Anyway, Wings, I do genuinely think it's brilliant that you've signed up for a 10k. While it may not be a big deal to some people, it would be a huge deal to me, so I can well understand how you are likely to be feeling right now....just making that commitment is a big, potentially scary, thing to do! I bet you are going to feel super-amazing when you cross the finishing line! :flowerforyou:
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    I think it's awesome that you've signed up for a 10K! I've been running for 15 years and there's no question it's one of the most challenging distances. Slow as I am, it means I'm out there running for well over an hour, and one hour twenty minutes in the case of the last tough cross-country one!

    Generally these kind of comments come from people who have never laced up a pair of running shoes. They watch the London Marathon from the comfort of their beds on a Sunday morning and think because 40,000 people do it, some dressed as pantomime horses, that it must be easy.

    Those of us who've taken those first steps of C25K or broken the "toxic 10 minutes" know just how hard it is... and how worth it it is!

    Anyway, if you want supportive friends, MFP is full of them You're welcome to add me if you want! :flowerforyou:
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    congrats! I've done only 5K's myself. I still haven't completed a 5K w/o taking walk breaks. I will eventually work my way up to a 10K.
  • becka63
    becka63 Posts: 712 Member
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    I'm sorry you had a negative response to this accomplishment from your friends!

    Perhaps you could ask the one that made the comment about running it a few years ago if they've done any distance since? I've had great support from my friends and family, I find talking about how I feel when I'm running helps them appreciate just how HARD I find it sometimes!

    But good luck, mines at the end of March....eek
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
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    All we can do is challenge ourselves on this fitness journey! As long as youre progressing that is all that matters. And by signing up to a 10k that you haven't done before is a challenge in itself. Great stuff!
  • Givemewings
    Givemewings Posts: 864 Member
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    Thanks guys. Sorry, I'm a grumpy cow! Yes you're right, I need to do it for myself and nobody else. And they probably were trying to be supportive, as someone has said maybe didn't realise how hard iot was for me or what a big deal it is in my life. My hubby said similar!
  • queenjme
    queenjme Posts: 26 Member
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    i must admit i nearly did this to someone. someone said they were into a program called turbo jam, something i use to do which i now have moved to something more advanced called turbofire. long story short i nearly posted something that could have looked as if i didnt i dont know support her, i didnt write it intentionally. i was just so excited about the program i was doing.
    sometimes people forget (including me) what it was like to start something new or attempt a new adventure.

    all the best with your goal. and i bet your doing an amazing job in the process
  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
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    Delete your unsupportive pals. Unless they are not on here then that wouldn't be allowed. :devil:
    Increasing your exercise, making commitmets to running in public marathons is marvellous.
    Well done you for trying your best!:flowerforyou:

    I have to say I have a small group of Pals and they are great people who do not judge.
    They all offer great support and we have a really good laugh at our own expense.

    Getting healthy has become fun due to the support on this site. :bigsmile:

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