body bashing

The issue you're really facing here is that YOU have poor feelings about yourself. You see yourself as still not good enough even after the work you've done. So the comments other people make get to you because they trigger your poor feelings. Once you start to fix the issues you have with the way you see yourself, what other people have to say will be of little consequence to you. They're talking about the feelings they have about themselves, not you.

Don't make this healthy lifestyle you're adopting strictly physical. Get inside of your head and get some workouts in there as well. Good luck.

Your thread is titled "body bashing" and you said *you* felt discouraged when other people bash their before bodies which is your "after" body. You did not ask what discourages other people. You asked if others are discouraged by the same thing you are. There was no failure to understand you. You didn't ask what you thought you were asking.

I see your point - and I do understand. I think that seeing and reading these comments can be both discouraging and also VERY motivating!!! I don't think that the people who are posting this are thinking about anyone but themselves and reflecting on how they felt at a certain point in their lives....and now see how much better they feel and look - according to their own standards of themselves. I think that if seeing these things discourages you - avoid them like the plague - and only look to things that will keep you going and motivated! I like looking at these stories - because it gives me hope - to see someone who was exactly where I am right now - and then see all of their success, it makes me believe that I can actually get there - and motivates me to stay the course. But again - I can see how this could also be interpreted by some as discouraging.

Don't take it personally...they aren't directing their comments to you.

People talk badly about themselves - we are our worst own enemies! We look in the mirror and say harsh and cruel things about ourselves. We don't judge others half as badly as we judge ourselves.

We should really learn not to do that though.

Iif we said the things we say about our own bodies to our friends we wouldn't have any friends...

I dont find it discouraging, I find it motivating. I'm already down on myself for everything, so seeing someone else do it makes me want it even more. All a matter of perspective. I have days I feel good about my body, and then days I HATE my body. I want to change that, which s the whole point of my weight loss. It takes a lot of work to get comfortable. Don't feel discouraged. You are comfortable with yourself at a point when some people are not. Doesn't that say something awesome about YOU?

The issue you're really facing here is that YOU have poor feelings about yourself. You see yourself as still not good enough even after the work you've done. So the comments other people make get to you because they trigger your poor feelings. Once you start to fix the issues you have with the way you see yourself, what other people have to say will be of little consequence to you. They're talking about the feelings they have about themselves, not you.

Don't make this healthy lifestyle you're adopting strictly physical. Get inside of your head and get some workouts in there as well. Good luck.

This

I know what you're talking about. Just be careful what you post and try not to take it to heart when people are mean or thoughtless. And congrats to you for progress!:happy:

I think this is a reflection of how you judge yourself not of how others judge you.

They have a right to have been upset with how they were and to make a change. It is not a dig at you and you shouldn't really call them on it.

Maybe it bothers me that I am not 'fat enough' for anyone to give a crap? Like I have to go on getting bigger and bigger before I can get a pat on my back for turning my life around? I know you are not saying that but can you it is the same thing?

You are doing a great job by being healthy every day and any move towards a healthier you is worth shouting about. Size is irrelevant you are the one focusing on it not others.

Don't make this healthy lifestyle you're adopting strictly physical. Get inside of your head and get some workouts in there as well. Good luck.

This too, she said it better?

Fat is a mentality.

I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, 40lb and I looked so good. But I looked in the mirror and cried one day because I realised I was still me. Being thin doesn't miraculously turn your life around but a better mentality that comes with it will help.

Are you at your ideal weight now? Are you where you want to be? If you are, then who cares what anyone else says? Also, weight is relative. I look great at 155 pounds, but someone who is 5'3 might not.

If you aren't at your ideal weight/size, then use it as motivation to get there. Then you can post your pictures and say "I went from this to THIS!"

No, it doesn't discourage me, it inspires me.

It inspires me too, if I saw a picture of someone at their goal weight of 155lbs (I know you didn't say that's your goal just using your example haha) after working hard to get there I wouldn't feel depressed that they look great at 155lbs whilst I don't at 155lbs. If life worked so everyone looked great, bad and fat at all the same weights as each other then we'd all be clones really. I'm inspired and motivated by people who get to their goal whether its a higher weight then me or whether their starting weight was the same as mine and they said they looked gross at my weight. To be honest whilst I know I'm not ugly or disgusting (haha big headed aren't I xD) I am disappointed with my weight and with how it makes me look, someone can post about how they felt gross at my weight and it won't upset me or make me feel like rubbish since I can understand their sentiment. No matter what weight they are, were or want to be everyone works just as hard as each other (okay that's a lie I should write everyone works as hard as they can since I can guarantee I won't get up at 4am to exercise like some people I know because I'm too lazy to do that, instead I'll try to squeeze in a workout, so I do the best I can but I know there are people out there whose best is 10x better then mine haha) and if they want to celebrate their success then they should go ahead, I for one definitely won't be holding back how I feel once I reach my goal weight, even though I know I could potentially upset people since my starting weight is their goal weight. I would hope that people would take into account my happiness and be happy for me instead of criticizing me for saying that I was fat at their goal weight when I'm 7inches shorter then them.
OP you titled this topic "body bashing" I'm not sure if that was to just get people's attention so they click on it (since lets face it 50% more people - at least - will click on a title like that, then will click on the title "in my opinion") or whether it was because you consider people posting about being fat/gross/ugly at a certain weight is body bashing people who are that weight. Personally whilst you're not body bashing I think you're people bashing which is just as bad (and I don't consider people celebrating their success any type of bashing of anyone's body except their own one, and if they feel negative towards their old body then that's their business not mine).

Edit: got a few positive and negative words the wrong way round whoops >_<

Also I realize form your comments OP that you weren't trying to upset people and were instead asking opinions so sorry about my bit about people bashing didn't read comments till after I was done replying. I get why you're asking I just don't think it's a question worth asking since whilst I am sure there are some people who get disheartened by reading about someone finally no longer 250lbs, when that's their current goal, I like to think that instead of getting upset they'd get motivated and feel happy for whomever just succeeded in one of their own goals. Sorry hard to write without sounding sarky to you OP, don't mean it just not good at wording what I want to say.

I think all this negative energy should be put to better use... if I had that much I'd probably go out for a run.

That being said, your question is all relative to how people see themselves. If you feel great at 250 that's awesome. If someone at the same weight feels disgusted with themselves and feel they need to lose more who are we to judge? Should we not all encourage each other to reach our goals, even if those are different all around? I understand that you don't want people to judge your goal weight as gross... but I also think others don't want to be judge on what they think of their bodies or on their goals.

WOWZA....... talk about someone in denial about their own self confidence....... look at what you said.....

'To be honest whilst I know I'm not ugly or disgusting (haha big headed aren't I xD) I am disappointed with my weight and with how it makes me look, someone can post about how they felt gross at my weight and it won't upset me or make me feel like rubbish since I can understand their sentiment. "

you understand them feeling like rubbish at your weight because??? are you rubbish at your weight? so anyone at that weight is rubbish?

"No matter what weight they are, were or want to be everyone works just as hard as each other (okay that's a lie I should write everyone works as hard as they can since I can guarantee I won't get up at 4am to exercise like some people I know because I'm too lazy to do that, instead I'll try to squeeze in a workout, so I do the best I can but I know there are people out there whose best is 10x better then mine haha)"

You know you're lazy and that others work 10x harder than you do?

"I for one definitely won't be holding back how I feel once I reach my goal weight, even though I know I could potentially upset people since my starting weight is their goal weight. I would hope that people would take into account my happiness and be happy for me instead of criticizing me for saying that I was fat at their goal weight when I'm 7inches shorter then them."

who did I criticize? and why are you being defensive about being 7 inches shorter than everyone else..... and why do you have to reach a goal weight before you can feel good about taking control of your life? I've got 30 odd pounds to go.... what if I never get there? Do I really have to wait to hit THAT number before I can celebrate? you're sending me mixed messages here..... I have to be proud now...... but you're gonna wait till you get there???



"OP you titled this topic "body bashing" I'm not sure if that was to just get people's attention so they click on it (since lets face it 50% more people - at least - will click on a title like that, then will click on the title "in my opinion") or whether it was because you consider people posting about being fat/gross/ugly at a certain weight is body bashing people who are that weight. Personally whilst you're not body bashing I think you're people bashing which is just as bad (and I don't consider people celebrating their success any type of bashing of anyone's body except their own one, and if they feel negative towards their old body then that's their business not mine)."

I titled this topic "body bashing" because I thought " ask a simple question and see how much trouble you can cause" would be too obvious....

OR because I wondered at what point do we.... as the people who have lived in these bodies of all shapes and sizes for all of these years stop seeing them as gross and disgusting and something to be ashamed of... and simply tired bodies that want to be healthy and need to be repaired.... nothing gross about it.....If we continue to call ourselves fat and disgusting.... or point back to a weight that "we" consider fat and disgusting....how can we ever expect the skinnies to stop?

Okay I was being nice to you beforehand by apologizing at the end (nice it's the only bit you didn't quote haha) for sounding harsh but never mind. Here goes:

1) I never said I felt rubbish at my weight. Read it again:
"someone can post about how they felt gross at my weight and it won't upset me or make me feel like rubbish since I can understand their sentiment."
I said someone can post about feeling gross at my current weight and it WON'T upset me OR make me feel like rubbish, as in I don't feel like rubbish and nothing people say will make me feel that way.

2) I never said I was lazy, I said I was too lazy (as in too tired, worn out, whatever) to get up at 4am to exercise whilst other people do that willingly, everyone works as hard as they can to get where they are but some peoples best is 10x better then mine. It's just like my best cooking attempt could be 20x better then my friends best cooking attempt, doesn't mean neither of us tried or are too lazy just means some people are better at certain things then other people. I'm not good at getting up at 4am and then functioning the rest of the day so I'm not going to get up at 4am. Once again please read what I write instead of copy and pasting it.

3) You criticized people who celebrate reaching their goal weight or any weight that wasn't their current since it is "body bashing". And I'm not being defensive about being 7 inches shorter, I don't know how much shorter then people on here I am, or how much taller for that matter I was using an example, you know that thing where you substitute an unknown factor with a string of words to try to make it clearer for other people to understand you. I quite frankly don't care if you ever lose your last 30lbs, it's not my business but if you were to post a topic in success stories celebrating it I wouldn't comment on it going "oh you're skinnier then me thanks for making me feel like rubbish" I would congratulate you. I didn't say I had to feel bad about myself until I reached my goal weight, I was saying how when I did reach it I would celebrate by posting on here and not worrying about insulting someone who was bigger then me. You can celebrate any time you want, I celebrate when I hit my goal weights or just general goals (yes that's right weights, as in I have more then 1 goal weight, plural). And you said you "have to be proud now" ... Have to? As in you can't not be proud? Sounds like you aren't proud of yourself if you see it as you have to be proud not you are proud.

4) So you wanted to create trouble with this topic? Bit childish. And you were the one pointing out how people posting about how they felt gross at 250lbs was insulting and demotivating for people who were aiming for that weight. You were asking people to put down other people who have worked hard to get where they are now just because they were honest about how being overweight made them feel. I see nothing wrong with being disappointed with how you used to look, because no one should ever be proud of being unhealthy, but when you are healthy you should be proud, and a lot of people take time to get that round their heads since they are used to being unhealthy so their mentality towards themselves has to change. And what do you mean "how can we ever expect the skinnies to stop?" ... What does that mean? Who are these skinnies should I put out a police report and have my bedroom guarded since I'm overweight?!

This time I wont apologize for coming across rude, I know I did this time and I'm not sorry for it since you are rude and for someone who is meant to be a mature adult you certainly do like acting like a child who dropped their ice-cream on the floor.

Edit: I'll do you a favour, by comparing you to a child who drops their ice-cream on the floor I mean the fact that the second someone disagrees with what you said you say they're misunderstanding you or something along those lines and yet you don't care to explain how they are misunderstanding you, much like a child when they drop their ice-cream, it's anyone's fault but their own yet they can't say whose/what's fault it is.