Need to VENT!!!!!!

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♥Faerie♥
♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok, so I have always had body dismorphia, (not sure how its spelled), and pretty much been concerned about what I eat and how much I eat since I was like 11 years old. (I was drinking slim fast at 11). So this has been a lifetime thing for me. I did gain weight, got up to about 125 at my highest, and I know most people would love to be that weight, but I thought I looked over weight at that weight. So I am back to a weight that I am comfortable with in my mind. I do not think I am under weight.
So anyways, there is this one guy that I work with, and he has been telling me I am loosing too much weight, I need to put on ten pounds, blah blah blah. I never really pay attention to him, because he is always on some crazy diet himself. :huh:
So anyways, I am rambling I know, but this morning I get to work and he has sent me an email with a pic of the concentration camps in germany, saying I must be on the same diet they are. :mad:
Does anyone else think that is crossing the line?
It just struck a nerve with me, so had to get it out.......:explode:
Thanks for listening:flowerforyou:

Replies

  • chgudnitz
    chgudnitz Posts: 4,079
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    Start telling him he is fat and needs to lose weight. Hope it offends him and tell him that's what he is doing to you every time he says something.

    It is crossing the line. Make something up about your whole family having been in a concentration camp and you don't appreciate the reminder.
  • MichelleWagner50
    MichelleWagner50 Posts: 240 Member
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    That email is definitely crossing the line!! He needs to stop...
    That said, maybe you should talk to your doctor about what a healthy weight is for your body type and height.
    Take care!!
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    Start telling him he is fat and needs to lose weight. Hope it offends him and tell him that's what he is doing to you every time he says something.

    It is crossing the line. Make something up about your whole family having been in a concentration camp and you don't appreciate the reminder.

    That's what I was thinking, he knows I have issue with weight, and that really did offend me! He gets upset every time some makes a comment about his weight, so its very hypocritical...
  • dgoodwin
    dgoodwin Posts: 7
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    Have you told him that it offends you? I would mention it if you haven't, and if it doesn't stop I think I would report him to a supervisor. That would really upset me. I don't think anyone can understand what we see when we look in the mirror but ourselves. Just remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Um, is this something for HR? Seriously this is not his business.

    I will not post my opinion of your need to lose weight, as you did not ask for it.

    Let me just say my tag line says it all. It is all about health to me. Is my body healthy.

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie
  • MissNova
    MissNova Posts: 563 Member
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    Wow that is crossing the line. Some people don't understand why we are trying to lose weight. To some people some things are bad and to others they are good. You need to do what is happy for you and no one else. People will always talk it is on you if you want to listen.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Um, is this something for HR? Seriously this is not his business.

    I will not post my opinion of your need to lose weight, as you did not ask for it.

    Let me just say my tag line says it all. It is all about health to me. Is my body healthy.

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie

    Hey...........where is my tag line???????
  • fitnessperfection
    fitnessperfection Posts: 97 Member
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    I wouldn't stoop to his level. some people are just not worth it. Don't allow him to effect the rest of your day. Ask him to keep his opinions to himself and just keep focused on beng healthy.
  • chgudnitz
    chgudnitz Posts: 4,079
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    Um, is this something for HR? Seriously this is not his business.

    I will not post my opinion of your need to lose weight, as you did not ask for it.

    Let me just say my tag line says it all. It is all about health to me. Is my body healthy.

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie

    Hey...........where is my tag line???????

    LOL I was actually thinking the same thing...
  • soxygirl
    soxygirl Posts: 173
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    I would report that immediately to a boss or HR or something -- that is completely inappropriate. Not only is it none of his business how your body looks, it is unbelievably insensitive and immoral to stoop to that level. If he truly cared about your weight loss he'd approach it more gently -- in this case he clearly WANTS to be controversial and offensive. For your sake and the sake of anyone else he may bully he needs to be put in his place!

    A lifelong struggle with body issues is an extreme challenge and takes a lot of strength -- I admire you for confronting it, discussing it, and making every attempt to get and stay healthy!
  • naugustyniak
    naugustyniak Posts: 836 Member
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    I wouldn't stoop to his level. some people are just not worth it. Don't allow him to effect the rest of your day. Ask him to keep his opinions to himself and just keep focused on beng healthy.

    I agree with this. Don't stoop but do tell him to keep his opinions to himself. If he doesn't then go to HR? I would think this would be a sort of harrassment.

    Oh, and keep the e-mail and document everything so you have proof that way it cannot be his word against yours.
  • GraceKelly
    GraceKelly Posts: 7,378
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    That is crossing the line! I was always tiny, and people would tell me I was too skinny, I was like 4'11 and 85 pds before my first child, I didn't diet or try to lose weight that was just my body, I was happy with it. Looking back now, I was skinny, but my body doesn't want to be that way anymore, and I am comfortable at a healthy weight of 113. He thinks he's being funny, but since he has a weight issue, he is jealous deep down. Your beautiful, and you need to tell him it is hurtful, and stop being insensitive!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    When I was younger I was painfully thin, and my BFF was 200 pounds. We would go to a friends house to eat dinner and the mom would take BFFs desert and slide it to me...........I am still not sure who was more insulted or embarrassed, me or my poor BFF.

    The mom would make a big show of it too, in her thick southern accent. When I told my mom she went ballistic. She went over to that house and our mutual friend was not allowed to talk to me any more. I never did ask my moms what she said to that woman!!

    Did I mention she beat her kids with hickory sticks too!!
  • meihanson
    meihanson Posts: 5
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    don't sweat it. you said he's always on a craxy diet right? He's just jealous that you are finally ahppy with your body's healthy weight.
    If he presses you tell him to focus on himself and if he continues, report him to HR. Don't take his mess.
  • jljohnson
    jljohnson Posts: 719 Member
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    Ok, so I have always had body dismorphia, (not sure how its spelled), and pretty much been concerned about what I eat and how much I eat since I was like 11 years old. (I was drinking slim fast at 11). So this has been a lifetime thing for me. I did gain weight, got up to about 125 at my highest, and I know most people would love to be that weight, but I thought I looked over weight at that weight. So I am back to a weight that I am comfortable with in my mind. I do not think I am under weight.
    So anyways, there is this one guy that I work with, and he has been telling me I am loosing too much weight, I need to put on ten pounds, blah blah blah. I never really pay attention to him, because he is always on some crazy diet himself. :huh:
    So anyways, I am rambling I know, but this morning I get to work and he has sent me an email with a pic of the concentration camps in germany, saying I must be on the same diet they are. :mad:
    Does anyone else think that is crossing the line?
    It just struck a nerve with me, so had to get it out.......:explode:
    Thanks for listening:flowerforyou:

    Personally, I think it's crossing the line. I also think this could be considered harassment. You may want to bring this up with your manager or HR/Personnel department. Keep that email, in case anything becomes of it; you'll want the proof.
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
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    I agree with this, our HR department would have a hayday with that.
    Um, is this something for HR? Seriously this is not his business.

    I will not post my opinion of your need to lose weight, as you did not ask for it.

    Let me just say my tag line says it all. It is all about health to me. Is my body healthy.

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
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    This is harrassment. Reply in writting (and keep a copy) telling him that it was inappropriate and that you want him to stop. If he doesn't, go to your boss. If it still doesn't stop, go to HR. Make sure you keep written documentation of everything you do to stop it. It will strengthed your position as you go to higher levels, if necessary. YOU look better if you try to handle things at lower levels.

    You shouldn't have to deal with that even if he thought it was a joke.:flowerforyou:
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    Thanks everybody, good to have people on my side:flowerforyou: We should all start a business and work together!!!!:happy:
  • ms_michelle2006
    ms_michelle2006 Posts: 24
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    I think you look great, If you have bodydismorphia its a psychological thing, so being on a diet is not necessary though you may think it is. Im not telling you what to do...but I was wondering do you get help for this medical issue? Im quite familiar with this when you look in the mirror you see me...a fat person but really from your pic i can say to you I envy you. I wish I was thin again....:flowerforyou:
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
    Options
    I think you look great, If you have bodydismorphia its a psychological thing, so being on a diet is not necessary though you may think it is. Im not telling you what to do...but I was wondering do you get help for this medical issue? Im quite familiar with this when you look in the mirror you see me...a fat person but really from your pic i can say to you I envy you. I wish I was thin again....:flowerforyou:

    Never seeked professional help, but try to contain it as much as I can. don't be so hard on yourself, you are a beautiful person, I think we never see what other people can see! :flowerforyou:

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