DIVORCED WOMEN I NEED YOUR HELP!

I'm not divorced (yet), but I have been separated for 18 months. I have 2 kids aged 3 & 5.
You just have to take each day as it comes.
You need time to heal, you need time to discover who you are again. And that takes time. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to hate him, hate him. If you need to get angry, get angry. But in time you will learn not to hate him, and you wont be angry anymore.
Yes it's tough, but if you have a good support network you can get through it.

Feel free to add me.

It's not easy, and it hurts. I found solace in finding other divorcees (women and men) who had gone through the same experience. If they could get through it, so could I. That's all I could focus on. I spent quite a few hours in bed crying and staring at the ceiling. Eventually that got old. There are resources online and in your community. Try the library for starters.

It's scary to be alone. I don't have kids, but I would anticipate they are feeling scared you might leave them too. A family therapist might help. Hugging your kids, telling them you love them, and encouraging them to talk to you probably won't make things worse.

Take care and good luck.

I divorced a long time ago. You just need to REALIZE that if he loved you and if he wanted you he'd be there. He wouldn't hurt you whether it's physical or emotional. Remind yourself everyday that you kids are important and if he doesn't want to be with you then so be it.
Try to be more involved in different activities...point is, is to stay BUSY. You don't need him to become a good mom or a good person. You will move on because there are tons of people out there to meet.
YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF EVERDAY! He left you so there's no need to want him. He doesn't care or else he'd be right by your side. END OF STORY.
I'm happily married again and i wouldn't trade him & kids for the world. Best decision i have ever made-keep moving forward and don't look back!!!!!

Run. I don't know how it works, but it just stops the cyclical thoughts. I was never married, but I went through something akin to divorce. Running was the closest I ever felt to happiness during that time. If you can't run yet, just walk hard and fast for as long as you can stand it. You'll feel the effects of it for hours afterward. Mentally and physically.

Remember that no matter what happens --you're going to be ok. You will always be ok.

^^ Yup^^ For me this has been HUGE! I LOVE to go for walks/jogs gives me time to think, prioritize, and work through a lot of feelings.

Hello. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am divorced and although my situation is different from yours I can say that it will take time. Time is the only thing that will help you because it takes time for your feelings to change. It may even take you a little more time since your spouse presented this to you and it seems like you were not aware of the possibility of this happening. Focus and you and your children and I believe you will eventually be fine. I had to focus on making myself better and once I started doing that he started fading into the background and I came to the realization that he was an idiot for messing up such a good thing but he definitely did me a favor by doing it because he did not even deserve me.

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, and for the passing of your mother.

From personal experience, I can tell you what helped me is to realize that I'm not alone. There are millions of divorced people out there, and some with similar stories. Talk to people you know who are divorced. Remember you're not alone. And as cliche as this may sound, time really does heal. My husband out of the blue told me he wanted a divorce, and then without warning, left me and our daughters on 08/11/11. He left for work that day and never came home. We weren't having problems or anything like that. He told me he just wasn't happy. I later on found out he was with another woman. I was devastated. I had what I called my breakdown moments. They happened every day in the beginning. But then, slowly but surely, they happened less and less. It's been about 2 1/2 months, and I still occasionally breakdown, but not nearly as often. Also, between work and getting even more involved in my daughters' lives, I'm finding less and less time to feel bad for myself.

As far as letting him go, well, again, that comes in time. I still haven't completely let him go. I still get jealous when I think about the other woman. But honestly, I don't really think about it unless he's coming up to pick up the kids for a visitation, which is only about once a month. He takes them for a few hours normally, and brings them home.

Without my faith, I don't think I would be able to get through this as well as I have. I also truly believe that experiences like this only makes us stronger in the end. I also recommend trying to find a support group in your area so that you can get to know other people with experiences similar to yours. I am currently looking for one myself. I took a required children's first class required for my divorce, and I really enjoyed it.

I don't know if what helped me will help you, since everyone's experience is unique, as are the techniques that helped them. I hope that some of it helped you, though.

Just take it one day at a time, or even just one moment at a time. Feel free to add me as a friend.