social phobia or just low self-esteem?

sabrekism
sabrekism Posts: 113 Member
edited November 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
hello there folks

ok so i been overweight most of my life and i lost like 30 kgs twice for few months before i gain it all back with rewards
the thing is im an "ok" person regarding self-esteem in most of situations.

but during some like "social gatherings, social dinner with my cousins families and weddings" and specially the situations where a huge crowd in the room targeting you when its ur time to talk about something....all hell break loose

its like i wish the ground would swallow me and disappeare...its a feeling of danger around me and that everyone in the gathering is whispering the guy next to him to target me and laugh..

what is that?...a social phobia? ... or just a low self-esteem cause of the way i look and my body image and all that stuff?

im a 5"6 with 293.9 lbs on me so...yeah im a big bubble lol :D

my reason for the question is...after i drop the weight is it gonna parish or its staying. and im sure some like me here wish to know

would like to hear ur opinions plz


thx for reading ^_^

Replies

  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    You are not alone! I have used my extra weight as an excuse for not socializing or meeting new people for years. Now that I have lost a significant amount of weight, I panic that my excuse is disappearing. I have been seeing a therapist who has been helping me with this, and I am attempting to force myself to meet new people and talk more to the people that I already know. There are a lot of emotions that come with weight loss; especially when you have been using the extra weight for every excuse to not doing healthy and positive but out of my comfort zone thing. Hang in there!
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    Its all in the attitude & not your weight. Whether you are fat or lean makes no difference if you have that kind of thinking or fear. I know several overweight people who are confident & that made them look fantastic despite their weight. Of course its normal for us to feel somewhat down when we are fat & that is understandable because of that stupid media hype that promotes skinny women that you see in magazines as the ideal standard of beauty. However when it comes to social gatherings, conferences or the like & you happened to be the one speaking, its more on your "stage fright" attitude, not your weight. So unless you overcome that, I can almost guarantee that you'll feel the same way when you lost the weight.
  • ShardeRenee
    ShardeRenee Posts: 55 Member
    I feel the same way.
  • pandamonium1987
    pandamonium1987 Posts: 47 Member
    I know exactly what you're talking about! I can fake confidence pretty well and I'm a pretty decent public speaker, so it's not really shyness (though I'm really shy when I don't know people). I always feel that when people are laughing that they're laughing at me. Or when they're whispering, that they're whispering about me. It a huge pathological issue! When some one stares at me, I immediately assume that there is something wrong with me, or that I have something on my face, or a booger in my nose, etc. etc.... and I'm sorry to say, but I don't think this goes away with time or with a better physical condition. I'm terrible at accepting compliments. So much so that I convince myself that the person doesn't really mean it, and secretly they mean the exact opposite... Oh dear, now that I write everything it would seem that I have a lot of issues.... Maybe it's because I was bullied and teased relentlessly in school and didn't have a lot of friends. Also, I went to school with a bunch of delinquents and sociopaths... most of which are hopefully in jail or kept in a steady stupor induced by alcohol, or in some cases, bear tranquilizers. (---> Look at all this! I'm a damaged person! All because of nasty people and mean children and indifferent teachers! I'm going to make myself a cup of tea now and look at funny pictures of dogs doing silly things until I feel better...)
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