I need a reply to this comment I keep getting

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  • spollard40
    spollard40 Posts: 7 Member
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    Thanks, you guys are the greatest!!
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
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    or a really big bat for the friend... which ever..
  • abbie72003
    abbie72003 Posts: 57 Member
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    If she's a decent friend and you really are hurt by this and can't ignore it, maybe you could just sit down and talk to her about why it makes you feel the way you do. If you can't do this with a friend, then you probably shouldn't be friends to begin with.

    If you can ignore it, just know you're doing what's right for you. That's really all that matters in the end.
  • slim422
    slim422 Posts: 104 Member
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    REPLY TO JazzBar9363

    We posted a minute apart about this topic...I like your style.

    NIce to know there are other's out there who value decent principles and display good character-possibly while having sore muscles or craving a cookie - anyway nice reply

    Congrats on your 11lbs and good luck!
  • cardwell81
    cardwell81 Posts: 1
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    just for your own piece of mind, there is no way she actually lost 2 pounds in two days by cutting out carbs. It's very unhealthy to lose too much weight too fast, unless you have professional help like the trainers and doctors on the biggest loser. Keep up your good work and just know that you are going to lose your weight and keep it off the way you are doing it, and she won't.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    Think of it this way, in a year, when you are all hot and sexy, and she's gained weight back from her "no carb" BS, you can smile at yourself in the mirror and think "I did thi for good, I did this for me, and at least I am skinnier than I was last year instead of big again, like her"
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Just ignore it. Why do you need a comeback? It actually has nothing to do with you. It's her journey. Just leave her to it. If she asks for your advice, give it gently, but if not, just congratulate her on her losses and leave it at that.

    Yep. It can't be a competition if you don't play into it as well. Give her some high fives and let her figure out her own path. No 'comeback' needed. :flowerforyou:

    I agree with this, but if you really need a comeback, why not try the real truth.."It feels like you're trying to make our health into a competition, and that makes me angry and uncomfortable".
  • luvgreen25
    luvgreen25 Posts: 202
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    I'm not even on a low carb diet and I saw a big drop the first week. We all know it's mainly water if we've done this before. As an engineer I like to throw math at them. "Oh really, you lost 4 pounds in 2 days. Well you know it's gotta be mainly water because you need to burn 3,600 calories to lose a pound of fat so you would need to burn 14,400 calories above you're calorie intake in 2 days to lose 4 pounds of actual fat."

    I'm an accountant and people tend to look at you like you're crazy when you throw numbers their way!
  • LisaNIowa
    LisaNIowa Posts: 4
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    I've look into Spark People, also, and it's simply not "all that". I've heard from other people how wonderful Spark is, and it's simply not something I'd choose.

    My suggestion is to do like some of the others have said and tell her, "Oh that's cool" or "That's great" and keep going along like you are. When she gains it all back and you keep yours off, that will speak for itself.

    Good luck to you! :)
  • Jojo2k11
    Jojo2k11 Posts: 48
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    If you are doing it the right way, then the only "comeback" you need will be your ability to keep the weight off come 6 months from now when shes gotten bored of her low carb diet and is putting all the weight back on again.

    Just brush it off for now. Be the bigger person.

    "Just brush it off for now. Be the bigger person"....in the ultimately long-term, smaller body ;)

    Women can be catty like that and human nature doesn't help with the need for instant gratification. I agree just ignore it. Your "come back" will be your lithe and toned hot body a year from now while she's still yo-yo dieting to lose her (now) 20lbs, but will turn into 30, 40 or even 50lbs.

    Slow and steady wins the ultimate race of a long healthy life
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Feel sorry for her.

    In my experience, people who constantly compete in this way are really suffering from a lack of self esteem. They constantly need to one-up you in order to make themselves feel better. Both you and I know her current plan isn't going to work out long term and while it's annoying, I really sort of just feel pity that she's putting herself through all this (and you with her comments) and will most likely be unable to maintain this change long term.

    Be the better person, don't let her actions affect you. You're on your path to healthiness, so it's all good :)

    This.
  • luvgreen25
    luvgreen25 Posts: 202
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    I have a friend who is super competitive and since I started eating healthier and working out, I guess she had to try and "do better" than me (knowing that while it's coming off slowly, it's still a lot of work).

    Yesterday she tells me "oh I just started low carbing again and I've already lost seven pounds! I lost four in the first two days!" I said "oh that's good" and just changed the subject because I found it pretty insensitive to tell someone that, knowing they've been working really hard. Especially when I'm doing it the right way...not by eating string cheese and pepperoni and bunless burgers.

    I just know it's going to come up again, especially since today her facebook status was "8 down already!!!" Grrrr. She does low carb at least once a year, loses twenty pounds, loses interest, and gains it all back. I kind of want to remind her of that but don't want to be rude. Any suggestions on how to put her in her place? Hehehe.

    I'd just congratulate her on the success she's experiencing and let it go. Different strokes for different folks! The yo-yo diet doesn't work for you, but she doesn't mind it. Let her do her thing and you do yours.
  • pirate4hire
    pirate4hire Posts: 55
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    I'd try to ignore it but tend to be snarky at times. Honestly my response would consist of two things:

    1) if in a lunch/dinner environment with her, eat carbs in front of her and,
    2) when she mentions the weight ask "Again? Didn't you do that last year?" with an innocent look on my face.

    Tends to shut people down and leave them sputtering. Apply only when needed.
  • Pifflesmom
    Pifflesmom Posts: 134 Member
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    While I think it's insensitive of her to be doing that, take the high road, say 'good for you!' and let it go. This competition is about HER and if you don't play into it, it can't be much of a competition, can it? :wink:
  • jnchorn
    jnchorn Posts: 250 Member
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    This person in my life is unfortunately my Mother. It's a self esteem issue on your friends part to compete with you. Try to not let her get to you, as hard as it may be. My Mom has yo-yo dieted my entire life, and it made actually rarely yo-yo due to watching it. So I try to not feed into the attention she is craving by whatever fad she has chosen. Just say "that's great" and move on but don't get into lengthy conversation because you know its only temporary.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    I think the best way to reply, if it comes up again, is "I'm glad you found something that works for you. I hope you stay with it this time. I know low carb wouldn't work for me because I don't want to go a lifetime without hamburger buns, watermelon, pasta, pizza, etc....and I know that if I low carb it and don't stick with it, the weight will just come back. so, I'm doing something i believe I can stick with long term."

    In related news, I did Atkins in 2005. I lost 17 in the first 3 weeks...and 50 after about 7 months. I gained it all back, plus some, over the next few years because low carb wasn't something I could stick with.

    This time around, I just went about learning more about nutrition and eating healthy. This time around, I lost weight slower in the beginning...but it took me the same total time to lose 50 pounds and I am now sitting at 70 pounds down.

    In short...you can dump weight quickly doing low carb, but the loss slows up. Just counting calories and eating better, including carbs, weight might not come off as quickly at the beginning...but eventually you will lose just as much as the low carb person, and you will be in better position to stay on the journey and continue losing.

    Its your journey. Don't sweat what your friend is doing. She's doing her journey differently...in a way that it would be difficult for you to sustain.
  • ldmendes
    ldmendes Posts: 16 Member
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    There is always going to be someone or something that will get in the way of our getting healthy. A lifestyle change is not easy, but you will be a stronger person if you don't let that stuff get you off course. You are doing the right thing by sharing it with others who have been through it. :flowerforyou:
  • free2live72003
    free2live72003 Posts: 186
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    She is "in her place" walking her weight loss journey the way she chooses to. I have learned that each person has to come to the realization that it is a lifestyle change that requires proper use of the tools that work best for their individual body type and life circumstances.

    We can never all fit into the same mold. I agree that low carb alone may not be a lasting change, but it may lead to other dietary/exercise changes that will support a healthy lifestyle that can be maintained.

    I would just walk "my own journey" with my head held high and avoid the comparisons and competition. You will be physically and emotionally healthier for it.
  • _LilPowerHouse
    _LilPowerHouse Posts: 365 Member
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    I personally wouldn't consider that individual a friend.. time to cut them loose and live out your new journey without the toxic friends.
  • RUN2CJ
    RUN2CJ Posts: 64 Member
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    Say "that's nice, I'm changing my lifestyle so I can get healthy and fit, AND stay that way. I wouldn't want to do the yo-yo thing" And leave it at that

    You can only control you, if she bothers and affects you in such a way, delete her as a facebook friend, what she says, the goals that she reaches and how she gloats about them is her business. Your comments and comebacks should only be about your trials, setbacks, and achievements. There is not enough time in the day to worry about others.

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