I need a reply to this comment I keep getting
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Just say, "Good for you!"
It's not really your place to judge or decide what she does with her life. Also, she's proud of her loss. She's not being insensitive, you are being overly sensitive. Why in the world do you feel compelled to, "put her in her place" ??? I think that actually shows that you are the competitive one.
I agree with this, the best thing you can do for yourself and your friend is just allow her to be excited for herself. Keep doing what you are doing, she should have no bearing on your success. No matter how good intentioned you are, no one can make up someone else's mind for them. We all have to start this journey on our own merits in order to find success. We all have to suffer through our own trial and errors. Having the patience to succeed is what will get you there. Through the years I have had several friends try to "compete" with me. Learning to not get wrapped up in their drama has been a sometimes hard lesson for me, but it's one I needed to learn in order to succeed for myself. I wish you much success!0 -
If you are doing it the right way, then the only "comeback" you need will be your ability to keep the weight off come 6 months from now when shes gotten bored of her low carb diet and is putting all the weight back on again.
Just brush it off for now. Be the bigger person.
I agree with this. When she comes back in a few months and has gained it ALL back you'll still be XX lbs lighter. and next year when she starts her low carbing again and tells you how she lost EIGHT POUNDS you can be like "that's awesome, I'm already down 40 (or whatever)'
No comeback necessary. Just be patient.0 -
Just ignore it. Why do you need a comeback? It actually has nothing to do with you. It's her journey. Just leave her to it. If she asks for your advice, give it gently, but if not, just congratulate her on her losses and leave it at that.
This!
Exactly! Jealous is really unbecoming.
its not jealousy tho.0 -
I think your competitive friend is jealous of something you have that she doesn't and is exaggerating her 'success'. That weight loss is never real or possible in that time frame. I might try and say that for you low carb is not the way as you are trying something that for you is healthy, realistic and sustainable over the long term. Stick at it at your pace, for you, for your reasons and ignore your friends competitive jibes. People only become competitive if they think they are losing.0
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I say stop worrying about her and take good care of your own health and well being. If her posts hurt you hide them. If she is insensitive in person limit the contact. If she asks why, tell her, but otherwise she won't get it. You can't change her. You can only change how you deal with her. What she does is out of your control but what you do is. That's more important anyway. Look to us for your support and encouragement. Stay true to who you are and your values always. Don't get back at her for being wrong about life and friendship. Stay strong.::bigsmile:0
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I find headbutting useful? Lol, sorry, I have a friend like this so I know how you feel. To be honest I found them too toxic to be around and withdrew from them.
I have had experiences with the same type and I too just walked away.0 -
Such a perfect retort. Straight-forward, honest, and puts her in her place in a polite way. The only thing left is to add "Bless your heart".0
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You know, I've got an ultra competitive friend like this too.
We agreed to start our "Get healthy" journey together (admittedly, long distance since she lives clear across the country). Anyway, I opted for the Healthy way to get healthy and she went all Fad-Diet (I don't know which one cause I've never bothered to pay attention to them).I know she didn't do an ounce of exercise either. Well, she dropped 25 pounds. It didn't take her very long. Less than 6 months, I know that much cause she was bragging non-stop! I was REALLY mad at her at first, but then I sat back and was like, "Ok. So what? So she dropped faster. How long can she really KEEP it off??" Well, while I'm just shy of meeting my 25 lbs mark, she's already gained it back and MORE! She's now 30lbs HEAVIER than when we first started!! Patience is a virtue. I'm kind of agreeing with all those votes to just let it alone. Though at the time I WILL admit that I wanted to punch her in the face, headbutt her, make and send her delicious fat laden cookies, and have THE ultimate comeback. But now I'm kind of super happy I just said "That's nice" while I continue to shrink in a healthy way and she's beginning to think on trying another Fad. She may lose it faster, but I'm losing it healthier and in the end when she goes for yet ANOTHER Fad-Diet, I can smile the whole way to the gym and know that "I won" :blushing:0 -
" I like losing weight the way I am doing it... a little more slowly but I eat all the carbs I want!!!!!!!!!!!!! CARBS, NOM NOM NOM ". Then eat carbs in front of her, smacking your lips and moaning with food-pleasure.
Alright, maybe a little over the top but I dislike that obnoxious, competitive weight loss comments from friends
LOL!!!0 -
Let's see... your friend was inspired by your weight loss to do something about her own weight. She's in the early days of her change where every pound that comes off is exciting so she posts about about on FB. You told her about MFP but she likes SparksPeople better (as do a lot of people, actually. It's a very popular site.) She finds going low carb is the best way to lose weight so that's what she's doing.
What a horrible *****! I'd cut her! :laugh:
Seriously, you could have looked at it as "wow, I've inspired my friend to lose weight. Go me!" But apparently her losing weight threatens you in some way; I think you need to look at yourself and ask yourself why that is. Because I see nothing wrong in what she's doing.0 -
Say "that's nice, I'm changing my lifestyle so I can get healthy and fit, AND stay that way. I wouldn't want to do the yo-yo thing" And leave it at that
Agreeeeed0 -
Reply "You have more to lose" doesn't matter if its true or not.0
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Say "that's nice, I'm changing my lifestyle so I can get healthy and fit, AND stay that way. I wouldn't want to do the yo-yo thing" And leave it at that
THIS
Yes!0 -
Just ignore it. Why do you need a comeback? It actually has nothing to do with you. It's her journey. Just leave her to it. If she asks for your advice, give it gently, but if not, just congratulate her on her losses and leave it at that.
yes! Exactly!0 -
I would just politely say, "I'm glad your yearly routine is working so well for you," Done, keep it moving. It's what she does yearly and some people get a little motivation in competition but don't play the game. You are making a lifestyle change this is the time to be selfish and just worry about yourself. I would even hide her on facebook if she's obnoxious with the comments, because FB can be socially defeating sometimes. Keep up the good work and like many other posters have said, your progression in your hard work will show and speak louder than announcing weekly pounds loss. Good Luck, stay positive and focused!0
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Just ignore it. Why do you need a comeback? It actually has nothing to do with you. It's her journey. Just leave her to it. If she asks for your advice, give it gently, but if not, just congratulate her on her losses and leave it at that.
: ) i agree ^^0 -
I say just ignore it. About 4 years ago I was about 15 pounds overweight and decided to do the Atkins Diet. Sounded good to me - I could live on bacon and butter. I lost about 10 pounds but absolutely CRAVED carbs, even though I never really did before. I'm talking frying potatoes twice a day. I used more potatoes in a week than I ever used in a month. I not only gained that 15 pounds back, but another 25. It was crazy. So instead of that 15 pounds, I then had to loose 40 pounds. I did it the right way, even though a lot of weeks I barely lost a pound. You'll loose what you need to and keep it off. More than likely, she won't be in that position.0
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I agree, this is your journey. You might need to hide her comments of FB. You should be proud of your accomplishments. Like I tell my daughters "you can't change people". Be glad you are sensitive to others.0
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I really like that so many of your are passive and just suggest you ignore it. I think its a good response, however, I am a firm believer that a lot of people are a-holes, and they think they can be a-holes, because no one ever calls them on it. Well I think you should call them out on it.. in FACT! I think you should make them AS uncomfortable if not MORE uncomfortable as they made you.
They don't care about your feelings, or manners or anything but themselves. They should be insulted and harshly so because, we are perpetuating a society of a-holes. Ever cut off the person that just cut off like 3 people driving in and out of lanes? I have .. and it is sweet! People think they can act like that because there is never any consequences, well it is your responsibility as a member of society to establish some level manners, boundaries and consideration with the people around you... Just saying!0 -
Just say "wow that's fantastic" and then feel very smug that you will look really fantastic PERMANENTLY and she won't!!!! xxx0
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Buy her some candy...and just leave it there for her.0
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