Why are the closest ones to you are not very supportive?

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sweetangel99
sweetangel99 Posts: 21
in Motivation and Support
I would think my best friend would be thrilled about me losing weight and encouraging, but she thinks I'm just trying to brag and rub it in her face! :frown: Which is not the case at all, I'm just ecstatic because I've never been this motivated before ever! :bigsmile: I come here to mfp to vent a little and see if anyone can sympathize with me here? I told her how I felt and she said "I'm happy for you but I don't feel like being encouraging every day!" I want to thank everyone on here with their success stories and encouragement, because that gives me motivation and the desire to keep moving forward! Good-luck everyone and God bless. :wink:
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Replies

  • courtneymal17
    courtneymal17 Posts: 672 Member
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    I know what you mean, my aunt nagged on me for 20 mins about why I wasnt eating Wendys when they were...just get chicken just have one fry" blah blah blah...I cant understand it either....Just shut up and be happy that we're making the right decisions, you know?
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Feed them laxitives and have the last laugh...mwahahahahaha!!!!

    No, but seriously, I know how that is. I am lucky now though, because I have pretty much whipped them all into submission.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    She says she's happy for you. You can't expect everyone to be as excited as you are, though. That isn't fair. It might be that she isn't as interested in your fitness/weight loss as you are, and that's okay.
  • Angiefn
    Angiefn Posts: 2
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    most people dont like seeing other people happy .. or most people dont like you doing better than them, even its your family..thats a fact.
  • jaysenbjohnson
    jaysenbjohnson Posts: 1
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    Sorry to hear your friend isn't being very supportive. Maybe suggest that she do this with you (whether she needs to lose weight or not)? Maybe she will see how fun it is. Just my thoughts.

    I have to admit this is the funnest app I've used in a long time, never thought dieting and watching calories could be so much fun. Best of all it's teaching me how to live a healthier lifestyle.

    Keep up the good work, you can do it. Don't let the pessimists bring you down.

    Jaysen :happy:
  • ChelSleeve
    ChelSleeve Posts: 144 Member
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    Feed them laxitives and have the last laugh...mwahahahahaha!!!!

    No, but seriously, I know how that is. I am lucky now though, because I have pretty much whipped them all into submission.

    Is it bad that I've debated on doing this?? :)
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    Maybe she is happy for you but doesn't feel like being encouraging every day. Just because you're enthusiastic about it doesn't mean she has to be all giddy about it. Just like I'm sure there have been times that she was excited about something and you were happy for her but didn't feel like coddling her and jumping up and down about it every day.
  • chachalita8
    chachalita8 Posts: 36 Member
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    Its sad, when I lost 30 lbs, my best friend told me I looked no different than when before I started!!!
    I think most times they kind of feel convicted that they arent doing that, but who knows?
    All you can do is know you're doing this for you no matter what people are there for you or not!! Keep your head up!!:)
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
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    Could be that seeing you so excited and doing so well is giving her some qualms about the areas she'd like to fix but hasn't been able to. She may be happy for your success but struggling with issues of her own. I suggest giving her a little space.
  • Tskitzo
    Tskitzo Posts: 42
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    most people dont like seeing other people happy .. or most people dont like you doing better than them, even its your family..thats a fact.
    This
  • LabRat529
    LabRat529 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    most people dont like seeing other people happy .. or most people dont like you doing better than them, even its your family..thats a fact.

    I kinda feel sad for you if that's really your outlook on life.

    I also disagree. I like people. I think they're mostly decent folk. They try to be nice, kind, supportive, and most of them want me to be happy (and they want to be happy too).
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    She's definitely jealous and sabotaging your success.



    Or she just doesn't care as much about your life as you do. Which is the more likely scenario.
  • brandonrdn
    brandonrdn Posts: 71
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    I stopped talking to my once bestfriend because of the same situation. This was about a year and a half ago, and I wasn't in the weight loss kick that I'm currently in, but all he did was put me down. Whether it was about my weight(was around 285, maybe heavier, down to 245 now), looks, etc. I considered him my bestfriend because we always hung out and had fun playing football, music(I play guitar, he played drums), and just hanging out, but his sense of "humor" was to put people down. I decided that the negatives were a lot worse than the positives so I stopped talking to him. Looking back, I miss having someone to go to with problems, or to just call and have something to do if I'm bored, but my life has been so positive lately that I feel it was the right decision to make. Sorry to rant, but sometimes cutting the negative things, including people, out of your life is the best solution. Not saying to do what I did, but maybe talk to her and tell her that you could really use her support and see if she can be a bit more supportive of what you're trying to do. Best of luck!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    This is why I like my MFP community so much. I can talk endlessly about my pants fitting and my buddies here "get it" whereas my friends in real life are happy for me but don't really understand what it means to me.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Feed them laxitives and have the last laugh...mwahahahahaha!!!!

    No, but seriously, I know how that is. I am lucky now though, because I have pretty much whipped them all into submission.

    Is it bad that I've debated on doing this?? :)

    If I only did 1% of what I thought about doing, I'd probably be in prison. There is a fine line between thinking and doing. :laugh: :drinker:
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    This is why I like my MFP community so much. I can talk endlessly about my pants fitting and my buddies here "get it" whereas my friends in real life are happy for me but don't really understand what it means to me.

    Speaking of which, that is the best workout!! Bend over, pull up, bend over, pull up....so perfect!!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    She's definitely jealous and sabotaging your success.
    This, punch her in the face.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Feed them laxitives and have the last laugh...mwahahahahaha!!!!

    No, but seriously, I know how that is. I am lucky now though, because I have pretty much whipped them all into submission.

    Is it bad that I've debated on doing this?? :)

    If I only did 1% of what I thought about doing, I'd probably be in prison. There is a fine line between thinking and doing. :laugh: :drinker:

    Here's a really neat blog post about things people think but never do!

    http://thehairpin.com/2012/02/were-all-murderers-inside-our-own-heads-or-the-time-my-boss-wanted-to-kill-me
  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
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    Not to be mean, but maybe you are bragging and she's just tired of it. It doesn't sound like she's sabotaging you, just asking you to be more sensitive to the fact that this is not the most exciting thing for her and perhaps you are coming across as bragging.

    I'm genuinely happy for my friends when they get engaged, but that doesn't mean that every detail of their wedding planning fascinates me. After a pretty short while they just start to sound self involved. Weight loss can be the same way. Most people don't find other people's work outs that interesting. Try focusing your conversations on shared interests and see if she's happier.
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    Your friend was just a big douchasaurus, her friend is happy for her but doesn't feel like being the drn pep squad 24/7. I would be annoyed to if one of my friends was harping on the same exact thing day in and day out. You did the right thing, your friend sucked. Her friend, on the other hand, sounds like she is just tired of talking about the same thing day in and day out. At least, that's how I read it.
    I stopped talking to my once bestfriend because of the same situation. This was about a year and a half ago, and I wasn't in the weight loss kick that I'm currently in, but all he did was put me down. Whether it was about my weight(was around 285, maybe heavier, down to 245 now), looks, etc. I considered him my bestfriend because we always hung out and had fun playing football, music(I play guitar, he played drums), and just hanging out, but his sense of "humor" was to put people down. I decided that the negatives were a lot worse than the positives so I stopped talking to him. Looking back, I miss having someone to go to with problems, or to just call and have something to do if I'm bored, but my life has been so positive lately that I feel it was the right decision to make. Sorry to rant, but sometimes cutting the negative things, including people, out of your life is the best solution. Not saying to do what I did, but maybe talk to her and tell her that you could really use her support and see if she can be a bit more supportive of what you're trying to do. Best of luck!

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