Why are the closest ones to you are not very supportive?

Boshnivay · February 2012

she might just be jealous that you have the motivation to lose weight and that it's working for you. i had a friend like that in high school- i lost weight and she didn't and she acted jealous about it. you'd think they'd just be happy that we did it and that they could be inspired. guess they are afraid of a little competition.

alexbelly · February 2012

Once you really get it (that this is journey if completely for you by you) it'll be easier to let negativity roll off your back.
You won't even notice people's pessimism.

When I started taking care of myself, I started changing my whole out look on life and on me. This is slowly started changing the way I lived, the way I looked, everything. I found myself hanging around negative situations less and less. It wasn't on purpose, it just happened. Which is good.. now what I'm left with is a better me & the people that fit into my positive lifestyle.

MaximalLife · February 2012

Here is my theory.
Pure jealousy. They like us a little lower - a human whipping post.
I have learned that my former close friends and family are a lousy support network for me.

So, what to do?
I replaced them all with positive, supportive people who are like-minded when it comes to common interests and goals.
I regret that I am no longer close to certain old friends or family members, but such is life.
Our time here is too short to be constantly infected with the poor attitudes of toxic people.

Okieace · February 2012

I think it intimidates and convicts people to see someone succeeding and working hard at improving themselves. Also, people have a hard time adapting to change.

cupcakemama · February 2012

I am in the same boat, I guess maybe they are just tired of hearing about it. I'm not trying to brag but like you, I'm estatic!! I was like that a couple weeks ago wedding dress shopping, to my friends, probably seemed like I was bragging, but I was on cloud nine! I was fitting dress' I never would have thought would look good on me! I was able to be sylish and bueatiful I was so excited!

Sometimes I think it's just that other people themselves are struggling with their own personal issues and it's natural to be a bit jelous when someone is having sucsess and you aare still struggling

ncole3 · February 2012

Unfortunately, when you decide to make a positive change in your life, like loosing excess weight, some friends and family get apprehensive and their reaction to you shows. Their insecurities, jealousy and overall weirdness rears its ugly head. Some even say mean things like..."you'll just gain it all back like you did before, it's no big deal". I have learned to accept that "people, will be people". Their reaction to your personal choice for better health is THEIR problem, not yours. If they make the effort on a continuous basis to sabotage your weight loss efforts....then maybe it's time to choose what is really important...their friendship or your health. Just keep in mind, if you don't have good health, you won't be around to enjoy the friendship. That's just my 2cents on this topic.

ErinBeth7 · February 2012

It is sad when the people around you are negative about your success and motivation. Right now the two people I lean on most, my mom and my best friend, are trying to lose weight as well. So, when I'm out with my friend it makes it really easy to go eat or do different activities because we both have the same attitude and goal.

ErinBeth7 · February 2012

I think it intimidates and convicts people to see someone succeeding and working hard at improving themselves. Also, people have a hard time adapting to change.

YES. I think some are jealous of other's personal success. Also, change can be a big step for someone, especially visually...since they're are used to seeing one thing and here you are changing right before their eyes.

bcattoes · February 2012

It's probably a mix of fear of change (you and/or your relationship with her changing) and maybe a little jealously, especially if she is overweight and not losing. And maybe truly getting tired of hearing about it. When we get excited about something we (people in general) tend to talk about it too much. We all do it from time to time. It does get old after a while if you are the one listening rather than the excited one.

BaconMD · February 2012

At the end of the day, the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut and let people who want to hear about it bring it up. This is what I do, and it's really interesting to see how my in-law family members compliment me, my hairdresser complimented me and talked about starting her own journey and asked for tips and stuff, my wife supports me, my uncles on my dad's side support me... But my own mother and siblings have been avoiding it. My mom visited me and on her way out the door as she left, she hiked up her pants and made a comment about it and how she's been "losing some weight." Didn't say anything about me, but yesterday someone said I look like I've lost about 70lbs (and maybe I have, I got no clue what I started at). It's interesting, anyhow. It kinda hurts in some ways, but at the end of the day, I'm doing this for me first, and for my wife second. I try and not shove it down anyone's throat without permission.

I'm not trying to brag but like you, I'm estatic!! I was like that a couple weeks ago wedding dress shopping, to my friends, probably seemed like I was bragging, but I was on cloud nine! I was fitting dress' I never would have thought would look good on me! I was able to be sylish and bueatiful I was so excited!

If you worked your *kitten* off to get to that point, you DESERVE to be excited.

People don't get it. You really have no idea what a fat person feels like to see success until you've done it yourself.

This is why I can tear up watching the opening episode of a season of The Biggest Loser, yet people without a weight issue think the show is gross or stupid or whatever.

jadesign19 · February 2012

I have a friend who was religiously on weight watchers. Every time we talked she would tell me how many points she had so far, how many she can have, how many exercise points she gained, how many points are in each morsel of food she - or I was eating. I never discouraged her. I listened. I was annoyed but I listened. I never told her how annoying it was because I knew it was something that was working for her. But I got to tell you, sometimes I avoided the phone calls from her because I wasn't in the mood. I found MFP and it was something that worked for me, she tried weight watchers and it worked for her. Try to avoid talking about it with your friend. I'm sure you can talk about other things than weight loss.

urownstupidity · February 2012

I sympathize. my fiancee is totally on board with it, and very happy and supportive of me that I have lost so much weight (I used to weigh 200, then dropped to 180; That is when I joined MFP) but my father and the rest of my family just make fun of me and call me names. I really wish they could see how happy losing weight has made me; This is the thinnest I have ever been in my life.

The only reason why people would act this way, at least that I can think of, is that they are jealous. Everyone knows misery loves company, so I guess some people want to take no action and just complain about the weight? *shrug*

You really would think people would be happy for you.

ramonasowner · February 2012

I don't understand why this happens. I don't talk about it much anymore because I don't want to hear the "you probably aren't eating enough talk". I still have 24 more to loose and I've been told i look fine now and should stop. Its frustrating, so glad I have a place to be encouraged and vent with kindred spirits. Cause I know for damn sure no one in my family is going to read this on hear, cause it's a "crazy diet"

Utahbeth · February 2012

Honestly - I think weight loss is like babies and weddings and pregnancies and other things that can absorb us - incredibly interesting and important to the person who is at the centre of it - and pretty tedious for everyone else.
She says she is happy for you - great, say "thanks" and change the subject to something that is of interest to you both.
Save the in depth discussion for your MFP buddies, they will appreciate the small victories much more than people in real life who aren't on the same journey.

^^This!

I have been guilty of getting over excited about all of the above (wedding, pregnancy, and weightloss) causing much annoyance and grief to my friends. It's possible that she may feel a little jealous, but it's more likely that she wants to talk about something else.

Why are the closest ones to you are not very supportive?

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