Why men are more intimidated in gym...
thefuzz1290
Posts: 777 Member
I see all these threads about how women are intimidated by the men in the gym, and they shouldn't be. Do the women not realize that its more intimidating for a man to walk into the gym for the first time than a woman? In evolutionary terms, a man is supposed to be strong, fast, and fit, which is why a lot of beginners who start lifting get hurt (ego wise or physically).
A woman walks into the gym and sees a guy benching 225lbs (2x45lb plates on each side), she doesn't automatically think "Oh I should be able to do that," and then try to load up the bar with more weight than she can handle. She may avoid the free weights, but she isn't comparing her fitness level to that of a man.
However, a man sees another man benching 225lbs, he knows instinctively that he is the weaker, less dominate male. This intimidation factor is hard to overcome since typically the man is the head of his household and has not been challenged. However, out in the gym (or out of his comfort zone), he has a biological need to establish dominance. This biological need leads many men to lift more weight than he can, to show the other men he is capable of challenging their dominance.
If you don't believe me, just watch around the beginning of January with the first time men in the gym. You will typically see two main types of beginners (men) in the gym:
Type A lifters - those who feel the need to challenge for dominance, try to lift too much and leave in frustration, or try to lift too much and get hurt.
Type B lifters - those who are more submissive naturally and won't make eye contact with the stronger of the men, and you'll see them over at the circuit machines (avoid the free weights like the plague).
This is why men need to check their egos at the door and realize that they're the cub in the lion's den and it takes years of hard work to challenge the leaders, but when they do they'll be accepted into a lifting brotherhood. This is also why women shouldn't feel intimidated at the gym by the men, because the men aren't comparing their fitness level to yours.
(On a side note that doesn't flow with my post, its more intimidating for a man to see a woman lift more than he is than it is for a woman seeing a man lift more than she does.)
A woman walks into the gym and sees a guy benching 225lbs (2x45lb plates on each side), she doesn't automatically think "Oh I should be able to do that," and then try to load up the bar with more weight than she can handle. She may avoid the free weights, but she isn't comparing her fitness level to that of a man.
However, a man sees another man benching 225lbs, he knows instinctively that he is the weaker, less dominate male. This intimidation factor is hard to overcome since typically the man is the head of his household and has not been challenged. However, out in the gym (or out of his comfort zone), he has a biological need to establish dominance. This biological need leads many men to lift more weight than he can, to show the other men he is capable of challenging their dominance.
If you don't believe me, just watch around the beginning of January with the first time men in the gym. You will typically see two main types of beginners (men) in the gym:
Type A lifters - those who feel the need to challenge for dominance, try to lift too much and leave in frustration, or try to lift too much and get hurt.
Type B lifters - those who are more submissive naturally and won't make eye contact with the stronger of the men, and you'll see them over at the circuit machines (avoid the free weights like the plague).
This is why men need to check their egos at the door and realize that they're the cub in the lion's den and it takes years of hard work to challenge the leaders, but when they do they'll be accepted into a lifting brotherhood. This is also why women shouldn't feel intimidated at the gym by the men, because the men aren't comparing their fitness level to yours.
(On a side note that doesn't flow with my post, its more intimidating for a man to see a woman lift more than he is than it is for a woman seeing a man lift more than she does.)
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Replies
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Good points.
I just know I'm faster than most of those gorillas. :laugh:0 -
Good points.
I just know I'm faster than most of those gorillas. :laugh:
But you found a way to establish your dominance :P. I'm a slow white boy, so I won't have that problem.0 -
Good points.
I just know I'm faster than most of those gorillas. :laugh:
But you found a way to establish your dominance :P. I'm a slow white boy, so I won't have that problem.
Seriously though, I do find myself comparing what others do to what I can do, but I just remind myself that they have likely been at this one activity much longer than I have. Give it time, and you may benching the same amount.0 -
Good points.
I just know I'm faster than most of those gorillas. :laugh:
But you found a way to establish your dominance :P. I'm a slow white boy, so I won't have that problem.
Seriously though, I do find myself comparing what others do to what I can do, but I just remind myself that they have likely been at this one activity much longer than I have. Give it time, and you may benching the same amount.
Exactly the point I was trying to make. I was one of those Type B lifters when I was a beginner. I never touched a free weight (mainly because the gym I went to was populated by bodybuilders and pro-wrestlers lol). Finally I decided to get serious and was going to the gym where I never saw anyone doing squats or deadlifts, so I had no one to compare to :P.0 -
So is that why my other half gets nasty that I can walk faster than him while carrying our 42lb kid for half a day without breaking a sweat and he can't do it for 5mins? Doesn't encourage him to get any fitter though0
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Hmm I never really thought of that xD True though!0
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Hmm I never really thought of that xD True though!
You intimidate me, because it looks like you can squat more than I can lol....stupid long legs (*excuse*).
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My boyfriend hates that I can run longer and faster than him so he wont run with me anymore lol. Woman are intimidated for other reasons. Its mostly because society has made us all have low self esteem because of the images of what we "should" look like and there are nice skinny little defined woman at the gym and if you dont look like that you get upset because you dont look like that. Damn us woman0
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I compare myself to other people too. Damn does that make me an alpha male? I haven't even hit the menopause yet!
Seriously, this kind of casual sexism is the reason i loathe the pop application of evolutionary psychology.0 -
My boyfriend hates that I can run longer and faster than him so he wont run with me anymore lol. Woman are intimidated for other reasons. Its mostly because society has made us all have low self esteem because of the images of what we "should" look like and there are nice skinny little defined woman at the gym and if you dont look like that you get upset because you dont look like that. Damn us woman
See its understandable for a woman to be intimidated of another woman, but I see posts about women being intimidated by the men at the gym more than the women. And unfortunately, society these days makes you believe you should be an anorexic stick figure, not a fitness model. Give me Jessica Biel over Lindsay Lohan.
On a side note, I'm off to the gym (getting there late) and I know the unknown power lifter is going to be there (he's there around 0200-0300 EST). Time to go leave my ego at the door lol.0 -
I compare myself to other people too. Damn does that make me an alpha male? I haven't even hit the menopause yet!
Seriously, this kind of casual sexism is the reason i loathe the pop application of evolutionary psychology.
Its not just psychological, its biological. Its inherently within us as living breathing mammals. Now we may have evolved past butting heads together to show dominance, but its still part of being alive.0 -
I compare myself to other people too. Damn does that make me an alpha male? I haven't even hit the menopause yet!
Seriously, this kind of casual sexism is the reason i loathe the pop application of evolutionary psychology.
Its not just psychological, its biological. Its inherently within us as living breathing mammals. Now we may have evolved past butting heads together to show dominance, but its still part of being alive.
sigh.0 -
I am a member of a women's gym. What intimidates me about the blokes in the gym is that a gym I used to belong to, they used to congregate around the machines close to the entrance to the group fitness room to perve. I'm there to work out, not to pick up. Especially not those kinda guys. Gross.0
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I compare myself to other people too. Damn does that make me an alpha male? I haven't even hit the menopause yet!
Seriously, this kind of casual sexism is the reason i loathe the pop application of evolutionary psychology.
Its not just psychological, its biological. Its inherently within us as living breathing mammals. Now we may have evolved past butting heads together to show dominance, but its still part of being alive.
sigh.
You can't accept that we're essentially animals? We may be more advanced in some ways, but in the end we still exhibit the same ingrained behaviors as most male/female mammals. Can you break out of them? Of course, that's part of being human, but it takes a conscious effort to break apart from ingrained behavior.0 -
Women aren't intimidated in the gym because they feel they need to compete fitness wise, they feel intimidated because of the thinner, prettier, younger women and think everyone will look at them and think they are fat.0
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You are only racing yourself. If you come in and compare yourself to the guy whos been lifting for five years, you'll always come up short. If you come in, ask the guy whos been lifting for five years for form check, stick at it for say 3 months, and then compare your starting stats to your current form, you will see you have outclassed yourself. Who gives a **** what the other guys are doing.0
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The only person that ever intimidated me at the gym was the mat hog I encountered on Tuesday... That lady was downright scary!
Men don't intimidate me.. mainly because I have a whole host of personal trainers watching over me and anyone that tries to mess with me gets shut down.
Women can be intimidating... but I mean, there will always be someone that is skinner/prettier/taller/w/e than you... it's a fact of life. If it doesn't bother you outside the gym then why would it bother you inside the gym?0 -
I'm intimidated of the 'boy' side of the gym because I don't know what I'm doing.0
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I go to the gym for me. Not to impress anyone but myself. Yes once upon a time I would have done so. I guess I grew up. As long as I go to the gym and have a good work out regardless of how much I lift or how long I run for I'm happy. I don't know anyone at the gym and don't intend to know the,, maybe just a polite hello and that's that. I think we should all stop looking at theses steroid pumped men in mags and the skinny lady's too. Where all different and I know one thing. I'm me ! I don't want to be like anyone ells. Some may not agree with me but after all we all have our own opinion. :-)0
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Women aren't intimidated in the gym because they feel they need to compete fitness wise, they feel intimidated because of the thinner, prettier, younger women and think everyone will look at them and think they are fat.
Not from what multiple forum posts say...there are several saying they're intimidated by the men lifting weights.0 -
No i can't accept sexist drivel dressed in the mantel of pseudoscience. the likes of pinker and morris should likely be arrested for crimes against psychology.0
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No i can't accept sexist drivel dressed in the mantel of pseudoscience. the likes of pinker and morris should likely be arrested for crimes against psychology.
It seems I've offended you again lol.
Its not just psychologists, its anthropologists, ethologists, and zoologists that have all observed gender traits and roles in animals and humans alike....but then again, its all pseudoscience isn't it?0 -
Yes, but the men all stand there STARING at the woman weight lifting no matter what. That is intimidating.
Then again, I love it when guys have to lower weights after me XD0 -
Yes, but the men all stand there STARING at the woman weight lifting no matter what. That is intimidating.
Then again, I love it when guys have to lower weights after me XD
See that's the men checking to see if you are lifting more than they are. LOL And trust me, I've seen plenty of women who can squat/deadlift more than me....and a few that can bench more. However, women's legs physiologically stronger than a man's, and a man's upper body is physiologically stronger than a woman's. 0 -
I'm intimidated of the 'boy' side of the gym because I don't know what I'm doing.
This is exactly how I felt when I joined a co-ed gym for the first time last week. So much so that the first day I came in for a workout (before I'd met with a trainer to develop a programme) I stayed totally at the front part of the gym around the cardio machines and lockers.
I discussed my reservations and awkwardness about being at a gym with both men and women after only having gone to women's only gyms before with my housemate. They told me the same thing that my trainer wound up telling me when I met with them "honestly, the guys are too busy looking at the other guys to notice you". Also having him along and showing me forms again for the machines I'll be using was incredibly helpful.
I took some time to glance around the weights area and concluded that the people there weren't as scary as I feared and that nobody's judging me because at the end of the day we're all there to better ourselves in some way. The trainer making a *kitten* comparison joke was also a tension-breaker. The gym I attend most of the time is in a fairly chilled out area and I've recently found that going in the morning means much less competition for machines and fewer people to get nervous about.0 -
I go to the gym on base. I'm a military spouse no longer in, so most that are there have been in shape forever as it is required. And being overseas there is two things to do to most, drink or workout. The gym here is full of guys in shape. And they are close to each other, they don't like letting in new people. Going into the weight room is scary, and I think it could be scary for each sex. But I am a women and relate to them saying its scary.0
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quote ''However, a man sees another man benching 225lbs, he knows instinctively that he is the weaker, less dominate male''
Absolute bollocks mate! what on earth are you going on about? I have never thought this once in my life, I have nothing to prove to other males, just because someone is lifting more than me means nothing, they could have completely different goals to me. I would challenge any dominate male to step outside into the carpark of the gym and then will would see who is dominate.
I assume you feel less dominate, because other people lift heavy compared to you, but dont put us all in the same boat with that quote, because its simply untrue.0 -
quote ''However, a man sees another man benching 225lbs, he knows instinctively that he is the weaker, less dominate male''
Absolute bollocks mate! what on earth are you going on about? I have never thought this once in my life, I have nothing to prove to other males, just because someone is lifting more than what I would means nothing, they could have completely different goals to me. I would challenge any dominate male to step outside into the carpark of the gym and then will would see who is dominate.
I assume you feel less dominate, because other people lift heavy compared to you, but dont put us all in the same boat with that quote, because its simply untrue.
*face palm* I guess you didn't quite get the point of the thread. Re-read it. I'm talking about beginners and judging from your photos, you're far from a beginner. But think back, honestly, about when you first started. Did you jump in with the big boys and start throwing up weight? If so, you are an exception.
There are always exceptions, but unless you've been training since you started growing hair in funny places, most beginners don't start until later in life. I'm also speaking on a subconscious biological level that occurs in almost every mammal species. And really? I'm not talking about a head-to-head challenge....bah, I'll just stop.
*sigh*0 -
quote ''However, a man sees another man benching 225lbs, he knows instinctively that he is the weaker, less dominate male''
Absolute bollocks mate! what on earth are you going on about? I have never thought this once in my life, I have nothing to prove to other males, just because someone is lifting more than what I would means nothing, they could have completely different goals to me. I would challenge any dominate male to step outside into the carpark of the gym and then will would see who is dominate.
I assume you feel less dominate, because other people lift heavy compared to you, but dont put us all in the same boat with that quote, because its simply untrue.
*face palm* I guess you didn't quite get the point of the thread. Re-read it. I'm talking about beginners and judging from your photos, you're far from a beginner. But think back, honestly, about when you first started. Did you jump in with the big boys and start throwing up weight? If so, you are an exception.
There are always exceptions, but unless you've been training since you started growing hair in funny places, most beginners don't start until later in life. I'm also speaking on a subconscious biological level that occurs in almost every mammal species. And really? I'm not talking about a head-to-head challenge....bah, I'll just stop.
*sigh*
Ok, I will level with you, My mum dragged me to a body building gym when I was 11 yrs old, as I was getting a bit of a chubby child, she would just sit at the reception desk and watch everybody in the gym from there while I did my hour workout which I did on a monday and fridays after school. so to be exposed at an early age, I have never had the thought process about what you talk about, but I do understand where your coming from, as I do see lads in the gym attempting what you have discribed, stick thin newbe's trying to lift half there body weight on a bicep curl, but I just pay no attention to them.0 -
I'm not really bothered by what other people lift at the gym( well I was when I first started because I wanted to see what kind of weights I should be lifting.) I go to the gym for myself ; if somebody can lift more than me then fair-dos.0
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