What do you tell yourself AFTER a break up?

Break ups are hard no matter what side you are on. Relationships start because on some level you are attracted to another person and no matter what you are invested into that person with time, emotion and even money. Giving up that investment is what seems hard to me...but if you buy a car and it starts smoking...you probably ought to get rid of it.

If a relationship doesn't seem to be working, holding on because you have limited options is only a sure way to have a miserable life punctuated by a divorce or worse breakup while wasting the precious time you have on this planet.

Sorry if I am a little to the point. I work in healthcare and see all sorts of people in abusive relationships that don't see a way out because they fear giving up on horrible relationships and fear being alone. Holding onto a job, significant other or anything that causes you daily angst is no way to live.

Find a young professionals club/volunteer force with people your age to broaden your social scene if you want to try something new.

people hardly ever answer my threads :grumble:

Maybe everyone broke up with you. :laugh:

You can't find Mr. Right if you're still clinging (in a way) to Mr. Wrong. Let him go - you are worth way more than that. :flowerforyou:

I usually tell myself. I'm better off! And I can do better!

You can't find Mr. Right if you're still clinging (in a way) to Mr. Wrong. Let him go - you are worth way more than that. :flowerforyou:

I love this! But yeah, I would remind yourself that you ended it for a reason. Onward and upward!

Do not EVER settle. If you have to convince yourself they were good for you then he's not the one. Move on! Life is too precious to spend it with someone whom doesn't completely love you girl and if he did he would let you know! so cut your loses now. You deserve better!

I always think there are plenty of more choices out there.
If it's not right it's not worth your time.
It's better to be single than be unhappy.

This, and your stunning hun x

Change can be difficult!

But he's a loser.

Hold your head up high and realize that you now have an opportunity to have a loving and caring relationship with another beautiful human being like yourself. Someone that is deserving of your time and energy. Someone that will respect you and love you.

Don't second guess yourself.

Don't look back.

"Good riddance," and, yes, it's easier if you're the one doing the breaking up, because you're not the one being rejected.

my first serious break up sounded like the guy you are discribing. i think the breaking point was when i was having surgery and told him how scared i was and he said "your over reacting" then when i was recovering for a week he didnt call. his excuse was he didnt want me to have complications (surgery was in my throat). he also did things like get a tattoo without telling me, he joined the ARMY. etc... i waiting around for him to come back, we had a final rise in our relationship, then he totally blew off our anniversary plans arived late etc. i was done with being tormented by him, he cried and said he could have immagined us getting married. in my head i was just thinking "who would want to marry you?" i used to get butterflies when he was in the room, but at the end i dreaded seeing him at all. i delt with that by moving on to (sadly) one of first guys best friends...

2nd serious breakup (1st guys best friend), he cheated on me with one of my best friends. right before prom. i ended up going with my gay best friend... i remember laying in bed, crying alot, panic attacks. drinking alot and going to clubs. and i am still smoking after picking it up after we were over. i told myself we would get back together, even tried to kiss him. he lead me on for about a week. then he accused me of being the problem somehow "had it comming". turned into a person i had NEVER seen before. putting things on fb just to hurt me and having his ex write me messages about how they were always planning on getting back together. i delt with that by going into his room, ripping everything down that i ever gave him. then i took his xbox back (which i had bought him). broke some stuff kicked some stuff then forgot about him. :]
i delt with that by calling my guy friend and told him i wanted to get a hotel after prom and drink. those of you who think one night stands cant turn into a relationship are wrong :]

im now dating my best friend who was actully loved me through all of those jack offs. we had worked together for a long time and now live together. i guess i was just not at the right part of my life to realize that i wanted him too, even though he voiced how he felt about me all the time. (which was actully really creepy hehe)
i have much more love for him then i have felt for anyone who has ever been in my life. he saved me

this post really brought up a lot of feelings for me and it made me realize that, yeah those times sucked. really really sucked. and i thought my life was over, or i thought i had to put up with things and they would get better. but truth is you dont have to. you dont have to settle for anything less then you deserve. if you wait, good things will happen. you deserve to be respected, loved, and charished.