Help me please...Im falling apart. Many opinions needed

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I didnt even want it all but somehow I managed to cram it down....what will I do? I can't continue this cycle...but I can't be deprived or this might get worse. What do I do to stop this? Do I add more workouts to keep my mind off food? Do I just beef up my resistance abilities? The thing is, I can't do this alone, but I have no true support system... My parents are practically enablers and sabators, i have no friends that are there to understand, and there seems like no one else to talk to... I need an instant support system. Someone or someones to be able to text when I want to reach for this stuff or at least something that stops me everytime....but what or whom?

Replies

  • mrskesler
    mrskesler Posts: 73 Member
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    Hi,

    I'm sorry you're frustrated.

    Do you live somewhere with a group that you can join? (walking group, running group, knitting group... whatever you're in to?) If your family won't support you, others will....

    In terms of eating more than you want to, my personal solution is to cut tempting things in half and leave the other half on the counter or somewhere else, then I have to make a conscious decision to eat the rest.

    I'm happy to be your friend!
  • dixiecup19
    dixiecup19 Posts: 50 Member
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    I'm kind of in the same situation. When I see food, I eat it and I don't even really want it but it is there and I know it will taste good and I think it will have a lasting effect.. but it doesn't and I go on and eat something else. My friends and family are also sabotagers! My best friend doesn't care about calories or weight and continues to eat anything and everything she wants in front of me with no second thoughts. My parents come to see me at college approximately one weekend a month and we probably go out to eat 3 times a weekend.. that is a lot of calories to consume in one weekend. I know its hard. I have been through the ups and downs too. But for me I want to make the change to be healthy now and not wait until I'm 40. By the way trying to loose weight the healthy way in college is so hard but if you keep on truckin' you can prove to yourself that you are a strong person and can do anything you put your mind to. Ignore the sabotagers and the enablers and do it for you!

    You can message me if you need to talk :)
  • Kelekat
    Kelekat Posts: 174 Member
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    A girlfriend of mine uses this method. Whatever the tempting food is, she cuts one third of it off for herself and then seasons the rest of it with hot sauce or used coffee grounds--rendering the rest of the tempting food inedible.

    It's harder of course, when you go out to eat--but it can be done. My honey and I went out last night and instead of each eating a huge, calorie laden meal, we split a very filling, calorie friendly Jambalya. I even had enough calories left over for a glass of red wine. We always look for something with a lot of protein and veggies--and then split it. In lieu of somebody to split meals with, ask the waiter to give you a go box with your entree, split it before you even get started, and have him bag it. Save it for lunch the next day.

    It's hard not to binge, I know. But just think of how proud you'll be the day you hit your goal. I'm living in a house with a voracious, constantly eating 15 year old boy, and a dieting man whose daily calorie allowance is about a 1,000 calories more than mine. Sometimes it's difficult to watch them eat a yummy dinner while I'm sucking down protein shakes, but I know that the end result will be a healthier, thinner me. And that is worth whatever I have to deny myself right now.

    As far as having somebody to stop you--there seems to be quite a network of people on this site. I'm sure that there are a number of people who would be happy to give you a safety net. We're all here to help support each other.
  • jb140
    jb140 Posts: 29
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    OMG!!! People bring food to the nurse station where I work ALL THE TIME!!! Krispy Creme Donuts, Free Jimmy John Subs, cookies, pizzas, chips and dips....And I feel totally obligated to sample it every time I walk into the office to use the copy machine!!
    As if my job wasn't already difficult....ARRRRG!! It is so hard to resist the urge.

    The only thing that I can do is to keep my healthier alternative snacks in my bag at all times...for just such tempting emergencies. The other thing that I have to do (and this is the really hard part)....when there is "bad" food around...I have to turn myself around and leave the room. Then I go eat my healthy stuff until most of the urge is gone. I also keep a "not so flattering" pic of myself hidden deep within my cell phone...and I make myself look at it.

    Hang in there Sis...
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    It's hard - I am in that same boat.
    It gets easier as new habits form - KEEP PUNCHING!
  • sarahbear1981
    sarahbear1981 Posts: 610 Member
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    I recommend that you incorporate more protien into your diet. I would also avoid burger king like it was the plague. If you want chicken strips try making and baking them yourself. Exercise is a great way to avoid eating. I also reccomend a big bag of lowfat popcorn to carry around with you. If you get hungry munch on that.
  • momonwilson
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    Hang in there... I found that protein and fiber helps to prevent temptaion. My co-workers are often snacking on chips and cookies I found that it is okay to have strong boundaries and simply say " No Thank You"
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
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    Thanks everyone, and I actually am on a high protein diet since I'm trying to weight train, the problem is so much junk food around. I will try all of your suggestions.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Thanks everyone, and I actually am on a high protein diet since I'm trying to weight train, the problem is so much junk food around. I will try all of your suggestions.

    Willpower.

    Sorry, but there's nothing else to do in your situation but say "no" to the crap. That's all you. Don't lay the blame for the food temptation on anyone esle. Take responsibility for it, and you'll be so proud of yourself for maintaining control once you do have it.
  • mmtiernan
    mmtiernan Posts: 702 Member
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    Hey Alex - hang in there. All is not lost, you just need a new direction! I have to agree that the quality of the food you are eating really needs to be better. The best way to learn how to eat properly, is to educate yourself. You need a quality protein at every meal - chicken, fish, turkey, low fat dairy. Not fried. Not fast food. Chicken "tenders" doesn't count. You also need more vegetables and fruit. Then add in some good quality grains like whole wheat breads, brown rice and oatmeal. Once you start eating the right foods, you won't need or want that bad foods and won't feel the need to binge. To start, check out Tosca Reno's book, The Eat-Clean Diet. It's a good jumping off point for nutrition.

    You didn't mention what type of exercise you are getting? Since you are at college, you could sign up for a class in raquetball, volleyball, rock climbing - what ever your college offers that interests you! The good thing about your situation is that most colleges offer a great variety of classes so you can just try one out each semester until you find something that you like!! Most colleges also have gyms for students to use for free or little to no cost and some even have trainers to help you learn how to use the equipment and come up with a workout plan.

    Hang in there - all is never lost!! Just take some time to re-group, educate yourself and form a new plan! You can change and tweak your plan as you go until you find what works best for you! You can do it!! :)
  • WinterBlue
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    AlexJourneyHall At some point of a weight loss journey most people come across a barrier or a bump they have to get over. I think that it helps to be busy... Occupy yourself with distractions. find a distraction Not necessarily exercise bc you don't want to excessively focus on that but occasionally doing more exercise on top of your regular routine can help. i.e. and let me forewarn this is a bit geeky: on days that i absolutely have to be sedentary i find a research topic and I sit behind my computer and totally get sucked in as I research and read about my new found passion :~) it's like a great book for others. Anyways the other option is to preset your meals for the day. if you plan on eating all your meals at home prep measure and set it out...this is to help you learn portion control and help your mind get used to the once the food is gone I can't have anything else. thus if you ate your lunch and snack all in one meal you know you don't get to have a snack bc you ate it. other options to consider is calorie cycling. where you eat lower calories for 2-3 days i.e. eating your BMR (realistic bmr, not 1200...unless yours it in fact 1200) and then on every 4 days you eat at your maintenance BMR+Lifestyle+Exercise...so whatever total MFP totals for you in your dashboard. When I do this it helps me look forward to having a pizza day or whatever I want day as long as I'm within those calories and still continue to follow my plan. i think between these you'll either find one that works or it will initiate your own idea. As far having parents not supportive, try talking to them about it or I would try not to focus on that. Once they see how healthy you get you can educate them about healthy living and they will be more in tuned. I say that because i know some of my friends parents that are from a culture that think you are sick when you are thinner even at a healthy weight, thus if I wanted to gain their approval in my weight loss journey I would never succeed. oh i forgot to mention, I peeked at your profile and noticed that you find Jessica Biel inspirational, focus on that vision to getting you to the end. Also focus on the pounds you have left in the dust thus far and how great you feel now without those pounds....nothing motivates me more than gaining 5 lbs especially for my petite body it looks like 10lbs :~). I'll send you a friend request PM me anytime you need to vent.

    ~believe in yourself~
  • yogibella
    yogibella Posts: 321 Member
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    every time you see something tempting, ask yourself:

    a. am I hungry?
    b. do I need it?
    c. is it nutritious?
    d. can I burn it off later?
    e. am I willing to sacrifice whole meal calories on THIS? (a small little piece of junk food?)

    If you're not hungry and the food serves you no purpose then it's really not about the food is it? ask your self what is going on.
    We all want a donut sometimes and it's OK to have one, but ask yourself if you're prepared to go for a run or bootcamp later to burn it off. Or not eat dinner? No thanks! That's a pretty good motivator for me. Have a cookie if you want but log it and make it work into your day. Just not the whole box! Pretty soon it'll become a habit and your body will adapt:) good luck!
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    Hey Alex - hang in there. All is not lost, you just need a new direction! I have to agree that the quality of the food you are eating really needs to be better. The best way to learn how to eat properly, is to educate yourself. You need a quality protein at every meal - chicken, fish, turkey, low fat dairy. Not fried. Not fast food. Chicken "tenders" doesn't count. You also need more vegetables and fruit. Then add in some good quality grains like whole wheat breads, brown rice and oatmeal. Once you start eating the right foods, you won't need or want that bad foods and won't feel the need to binge. To start, check out Tosca Reno's book, The Eat-Clean Diet. It's a good jumping off point for nutrition.

    You didn't mention what type of exercise you are getting? Since you are at college, you could sign up for a class in raquetball, volleyball, rock climbing - what ever your college offers that interests you! The good thing about your situation is that most colleges offer a great variety of classes so you can just try one out each semester until you find something that you like!! Most colleges also have gyms for students to use for free or little to no cost and some even have trainers to help you learn how to use the equipment and come up with a workout plan.

    Hang in there - all is never lost!! Just take some time to re-group, educate yourself and form a new plan! You can change and tweak your plan as you go until you find what works best for you! You can do it!! :)
    I do weight training and Turbo Kick (each for an hour on every weekday.)
  • tstawicki
    tstawicki Posts: 61 Member
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    every time you see something tempting, ask yourself:

    a. am I hungry?
    b. do I need it?
    c. is it nutritious?
    d. can I burn it off later?
    e. am I willing to sacrifice whole meal calories on THIS? (a small little piece of junk food?)

    If you're not hungry and the food serves you no purpose then it's really not about the food is it? ask your self what is going on.
    We all want a donut sometimes and it's OK to have one, but ask yourself if you're prepared to go for a run or bootcamp later to burn it off. Or not eat dinner? No thanks! That's a pretty good motivator for me. Have a cookie if you want but log it and make it work into your day. Just not the whole box! Pretty soon it'll become a habit and your body will adapt:) good luck!
  • tstawicki
    tstawicki Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    I agree, you need to stay in touch with your mind and therefore can control the desire to eat things that sabotage the hard work that went into making your weight loss happen..
    How badly do you want that healthy body weight? I think it it's worth it. I have dieted a lot and the only way to succeed is to stop and ask why you want to eat these bad foods. It could be boredom or something emotional that you have to ask yourself too.
    Good luck!:smile:
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Options
    Thanks everyone, and I actually am on a high protein diet since I'm trying to weight train, the problem is so much junk food around. I will try all of your suggestions.

    Willpower.

    Sorry, but there's nothing else to do in your situation but say "no" to the crap. That's all you. Don't lay the blame for the food temptation on anyone esle. Take responsibility for it, and you'll be so proud of yourself for maintaining control once you do have it.
    People can offer you encouragement and inspiration but true motivation is all internal.
    We either have that drive or need to find a way to ignite it.

    To light that fire, be honest, and answer for yourself:
    Why do I want to be healthy and fit? Discover the real answer, and attach great pleasure to that as you set your goals.
    Feel and experience that joy when you think of being healthy and fit.

    And then ask yourself why do you NOT want to be fat?
    Connect with that reason burning pain that you can really feel every time you think about being fat.

    This is the key to internal motivation.
    Few people can actually do this which is why most people fail in their efforts over and over.
    Take the time to do this, and you'll touch off a powder keg of determination and drive.
    Sure, you may have challenges; we all do, but you'll keep punching and reach your goals.

    All Is Possible!