A New Life!! Embrace change and growth!

pinkieshrimp · June 2009

Hi! I was so encouraged to read everyone's posts. This is such a great website.

So, in the last two years I have gained 50 pounds, on top of the 30 pounds I was already overweight. Then, I broke up with my fiance, my dad almost died and had to have emergency heart surgery, my grandfather died, and my mom had breast cancer- all in a span of ten months. So, what did I do? I stopped loving myself, stopped looking in the mirror, and stopped getting to know myself and what I really want for myself. I found that the way to cope with being obese was to ignore the problem.

Well, I am not ignoring the problem anymore. If I am going to change, I have to look in the mirror, recognize the problem that I have gotten myself into, and get myself out. So, I don't like the way I look today, but in a week, I will look better, and in a month, even better! I can't just change what I eat, I have to get to know myself better and find out WHY I eat in excess. I have been studying Jungian psychology and his remarks about obesity and anorexia- he has a lot of great insight that have helped me to understand WHY I OVEREAT, and occasionally, purge. A lot of it has to do with my relationship with my parents, which is screwed up. For example, I was the perfect child, valedictorian from high school, and all that, and yet I STILL feel like I am not good enough for them. If I don't move away and start to find out for myself who I am, what I want, and how I have value and worth for myself, then I will continue in this same cycle of overeating.

I am moving to LA in less than a week. I don't have a job yet, but I'm going anyways, with savings in hand! If we sit around and feel sorry for ourselves and don't take any risks, then how can we improve? Learn more about ourselves? Grow? There are so many resources available to people to help them improve their lives that THERE IS NO EXCUSE NOT TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

Looking forward to tracking my progress!

shannar78 · June 2009

Wowwwww!!! Congratulations on taking this step, and good luck with your move!

AJCM · June 2009

Great story, thanks for sharing, and WELCOME!

You WILL find success here - I found success here, and if I can stop overeating and start examining the root cause, then anyone can!

I lost over 30 lbs doing this program.....

I found it really really helpful, to, in a moment when I want to eat, stop and say to myself, "Why are you wanting to eat that?" This weight loss journey was almost like therapy, and when I would do that exercise, I would (a) Not over eat, and (b) I learned a lot about myself, and how often I needed comfort, or to talk something out, or to confront something.

I feel I emerged a lighter person, and it was more than just pounds.

I have a challenging relationship with my mother, and I have had to learnt to accept it on one level, and control my own behaviour, as I can't control hers. I had to stop using her abuse as an excuse for my shortcomings. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, people often blame their mother in therapy sessions, and his repsonse is, "Well - you've solved the problem then! Next session, bring your mother in, I will do some therapy with her, and YOU will be cured!" (insert sarcastic tone).
:flowerforyou:

I wish you the greatest success - YOU are in charge of your destiny, and your moods, and your feelings. YOU will be successful, and will get to whatever weight you want to be.

Enjoy L.A. btw! I LOVE California (my av was taken in San Diego!!).

pinkieshrimp · June 2009

Thanks so much for the encouragement! It is exciting to see people who have already completed their weight loss goals.

And thank you for your insight into the "therapy" part of weight loss. Certainly, growing up with a mother who was a model was hard on me, and, surprise, surprise- both my sister and I have weight problems, but it is a good reminder that I cannot blame her or anyone else for my life and my actions.

I will also try the food questioning. This website will be a lot of help, because if I know that I have to log something in, every little thing, I will be more aware of what I am eating.

Thanks again!
Cheers to living in sunny California! :drinker:

PS- were you always overweight, or did your weight gain come on with children and/or age?

MOMOFTWO29 · June 2009

Hello and welcome to the best website ever. You will love it here, I do. This site is so helpful, supportive, motivational, easy to use, and everyone here is so nice and friendly. I just wanted to tell you that I hope you have a lot of success on your weight loss journey. You can do this.

:flowerforyou:

AJCM · June 2009

Thanks so much for the encouragement! It is exciting to see people who have already completed their weight loss goals.

And thank you for your insight into the "therapy" part of weight loss. Certainly, growing up with a mother who was a model was hard on me, and, surprise, surprise- both my sister and I have weight problems, but it is a good reminder that I cannot blame her or anyone else for my life and my actions.

I will also try the food questioning. This website will be a lot of help, because if I know that I have to log something in, every little thing, I will be more aware of what I am eating.

Thanks again!
Cheers to living in sunny California! :drinker:

PS- were you always overweight, or did your weight gain come on with children and/or age?

I was a chubby baby and toddler, but came from a family with good, healthy eating habits (although my mom had weight troubles - but that is a whole other story!). I was did dance lessons three times a week from the age of 3 until 12, and that kept me fit.

Quitting dance coupled with puberty really put the weight on, but I remember being 5'5" and 134 lbs in middle school! Not heavy at all really, but I thought I was soooo fat. All through high school I struggled with constant dieting, and was around a size 10 (which would be about an 8 by today's standards), which again, as a teen, felts really large.

In University I packed on the pounds from the stress, and ended up close to 180 lbs (I should say I am 5'8). I shed that in grad school when I moved to London - the autonomy from my family really allowed me to be a new person, without restraints, and I quickly lost over 30 lbs without much effort - just embracing a new healthy lifestlyle.

I maintained a slim and fit weight through my twenties, and felt great. Then I got pregnant, and was around 200 lbs with each delivery! I lost 30 lbs with delivery, but then had a little over 30 lbs to lose on my own - which I did with MFP.

And here I am! I still struggle, I think I always will, but it's really about lifestyle.

You WILL do it! I think your new start might be just what you need!

Growing up with a mom who is a model must be tough! Wow! You are a beauty too by the way...
:flowerforyou:

pinkieshrimp · June 2009

Thanks for all the encouragement. I would be tricking myself into believing that once I lose the weight I want, I will suddenly never have a problem again! Ha! Your story in a great encouragement to me, especially since we are about the same height, (I'm 5' 9") so when you say 200 pounds, I know what that looks like on ME, not someone who is much shorter.

Oddly enough, even though this is a virtual world, I actually feel very accountable already. That damn ticker is already controlling my life! I can't wait until mine shows more results! :flowerforyou:

Personally, I had gained weight once I hit puberty. I remember the moment when I looked down at my leg and noticed that I had fat there- I was at Disneyland. I wasn't fat at all, but I suddenly had breasts and hips! I played basketball and volleyball all through high school, so I could essentially eat whatever I wanted- and I did! Once I got to college, I packed on the pounds. I think that that step of getting out on your own can make changes in all areas of your life, because you realize that the only person to be accountable to is yourself, so if you screw up, it's your fault. It's very healthy to actually be responsible for your actions, whether it's paying your bills on time or mindlessly shoving food in your mouth.

This was longer than I intended. Thanks for the encouragement! Blessings on your continual success!

AJCM · June 2009

Thanks for all the encouragement. I would be tricking myself into believing that once I lose the weight I want, I will suddenly never have a problem again! Ha! Your story in a great encouragement to me, especially since we are about the same height, (I'm 5' 9") so when you say 200 pounds, I know what that looks like on ME, not someone who is much shorter.

Oddly enough, even though this is a virtual world, I actually feel very accountable already. That damn ticker is already controlling my life! I can't wait until mine shows more results! :flowerforyou:

Personally, I had gained weight once I hit puberty. I remember the moment when I looked down at my leg and noticed that I had fat there- I was at Disneyland. I wasn't fat at all, but I suddenly had breasts and hips! I played basketball and volleyball all through high school, so I could essentially eat whatever I wanted- and I did! Once I got to college, I packed on the pounds. I think that that step of getting out on your own can make changes in all areas of your life, because you realize that the only person to be accountable to is yourself, so if you screw up, it's your fault. It's very healthy to actually be responsible for your actions, whether it's paying your bills on time or mindlessly shoving food in your mouth.

This was longer than I intended. Thanks for the encouragement! Blessings on your continual success!

Pinkie - we are so similar! So I believe that this site WILL get you to your goal!

Life ins't perfect once you hit your goal weight, but it does feel much more peaceful and happy! I would literally wake up every morning (when I had weight to lose) and the first thing I would think about would be, "What did I eat last night?", "Did I over eat?", "What will I eat today"

You know - our puberty stories are similar - my first bra was a 34C! We started with a bang!

I look back at those pics from that time in my life, and I had a lovely little figure - but compared to my sister who was thin and looked like a little girl should, the words my mother used for me was "fat". I heard it quite a bit - And there it began.

I have two kids, and I often think of this - they don't have the negative thoughts and perceptions about anything until we (society) impose them. My two year old still uses a soother at night, and she thought it was totally normal until her grandmother told her that it's wrong, and that soothers are for "babies" not big girls....)

Best of luck - and please do let me know how you do on your first week, and PM me anytime!
:flowerforyou:

A New Life!! Embrace change and growth!

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