Sociological discussion on remaining single for a long time

<~~~ Defective.







But it has nothing to do with my relationship status (Single for over a year). I know many people that have been single for a long, long time and I would say they are far less defective than people who jump from relationship to relationship.

Being single is underrated. That may just be the independence in me but I actually enjoy the single life. Maybe that will change when Mr. Right finds me but as of now i'm not looking.

ETA: Does being single mean you can't have one reliable booty call?

I have been single for several years mostly by choice. I am happy being with me which I think is healthier than just settling for whoever (or whatever) comes along. I often wonder how others view that, although I usually don't care. I would rather be content alone than miserable with someone else. I see others in unhappy relationships but put up with it just so they aren't alone. If the right person comes along then I will explore that route but until then I am happy being me!

in no way are 'we' defective. How is being strong, independent, and self-sufficient defective? I have been alone for a few years as well. In the mean time I have raised four kids, almost completed my masters degree and ran a household! I was just too busy for the work that comes with being in a relationship. That doesn't make me defective it makes me smart! I didn't hurt anyone in the process and I am mentally (and working on the physically) healthy and strong. I am sorry (not really) to say your 'friend' is wrong, wrong, wrong. You are perfectly perfect in being on your own!!!

Oh boy, if that were the case I'd be the most defective of them all! I was single my entire life and I didn't meet my husband until I was 38 and we got married almost two years later. I had romances over the years but nothing that went beyond two months. But in all that time that I was single I lived a fulfilling life, traveled the world on my own, and met amazing people along the way. If not having a relationship made me defective, then I think defective is the new awesome. :drinker:

You're fine dude.

When I got out of a relationship with someone that I thought was "the one", I made a choice to be single for two whole years for the exact reason you noted... that I was terrified of being alone. Co-dependency is a harsh self diagnosis, but I was all the better for making myself a more well rounded person.

In addition, my recent readings in school for Psychology state "Even when bad relationships break, people suffer. In one 16-nation survey, separated and divorced people were only half as likely as married people to say they were “very happy". After such separations, feelings of loneliness and anger—and sometimes even a strange desire to be near the former partner—linger. For those in abusive relationships, the fear of being alone sometimes seems worse than the certainty of emotional or physical pain."

I get your comment though. Most girls want the guido idiot because to them it's a challenge to "change" them for the better. It's self validating to tame the beast so to speak, and that is why they will always pick these guys. Whoever commented on your remark is more assuming and snarky than your comment, IMO.

So no, I do not feel you are defective. You've made a choice to be single until you find someone who is right for you. Having principles doesn't mean you are defective. It just means you're in the lower percentile of people with common sense.

This is something I struggled with this weekend a little bit. I'm finally realizing that I'm healthy--or as much as possible, anyway, for now...

I always used my weight as an excuse as to why I was single. Now that I don't have that, and I'm still single...I wonder if there isn't something ELSE wrong with me....haha...I know I have my stuff to work on, but it seems like everyone around me is always in a relationship and so easily finds that.

I'm just not content to be in a relationships with someone I'm not really into. I went to the bar this weekend and I know I could have walked out with pretty much anyone I wanted to walk out with...but it wouldn't have achieved what I really wanted.

Dating sucks.

I see them as independent!

I HATE being single!!!! I've been single for 9 months now and I can't see how anyone has lasted years being single! I'm happy when making someone else happy....all that "you need time to yourself" and "you need to make you happy first" etc...thats not for everyone.

OMG...this is me too!!

I have said this before and people think I'm nuts. It is assumed that doing stuff for yourself is what makes you happy....but for me, seeing other people happy, doing for them is what makes me happy, not what I do for myself.

I'm not alone!!! Yay! Lol

Tracy

Sometime in my late teens I came to the conclusion that there is a sector of the population, more female than male, that are terrified of being alone, and in turn, believe there is something wrong with anyone who happens to be comfortable being single. Why they view happily single people as defective i can only assume is a mix of jealousy and fear of something they simply can't understand. Nothing in my adult life has persuaded me that this conclusion was wrong.