How open are you about your weight?

karensoxfan
karensoxfan Posts: 902 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
Just a few questions:

How many of your MFP friends are people you know IRL?

Do you show your weight in your ticker or your profile?

Here's my dilemma: I have a friend IRL who I don't want to know my weight. When my friend joined MFP, I changed my ticker from weight to pounds lost (and removed my weight from my profile). I prefer my ticker to track my actual weight though, and this friend hasn't logged into MFP in over 6 months. I'm debating whether to unfriend this person on MFP so I can change my ticker back to weight, or just leave him in my friend list and change my ticker anyway, figuring the odds he'll see it are slim.

The reason I don't want him to see it is that in the past, he's given me a hard time about being too small when I get near my weight goal, and I get sick of hearing it.

Anyway, I'd like to hear others opinions about how public or private you are about your actual weight, both here and IRL.

Replies

  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    I'd delete him.
    Kinda sounds like someone I wouldn't want on my MFP friends list anyways.
    You need supportive people, not people that are going to discourage you from getting to YOUR goal.
    And it is YOUR goal. Not theirs.

    And honestly if they haven't logged in for 6months they can't be surprised that you deleted them.

    I have my sister and brother-in-law on my friends list, they know how much i weigh. I like to track my lbs though not my weight.
  • msmellebelle
    msmellebelle Posts: 101
    I know about 3 or 4 of MFP friends IRL (depending on whether or not they are actually using the website at the moment)...and they all know how much i weigh, but its because i specifically tell them. I also chose to use the weight lost ticker rather than actual body because i don't necessarily want people somehow judging my weight lost/gained whatever (though this worry might strictly be some paranoia of judgement).

    either way, if your friend doesn't support and he hasn't even logged on in forever, then i would, in your position, delete his friendship on MFP and privatize your page so even if he did rejoin, he could not immediately see your weight. you could just change your ticker back in the situation he returns and he would never be the wiser.
  • krazzybebe03
    krazzybebe03 Posts: 39 Member
    karen...forget him! Do what makes you happy and when you look too thin at your goal weight i'd tell him oh well im healthy and look and feel amazing!
  • lorri68
    lorri68 Posts: 53 Member
    i would unfriend him or anyone who is rude. this site is all about helping each other he sounds a complete *kitten*.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Very open, and those who don't much like it can blow....
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    who cares who knows how much you weigh? That means you have the issue with your weight and until you deal with it you will not be happy at any weight.
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,226 Member
    I don't mind telling my weight on here but IRL nobody knows how much I weigh, not even my husband!
  • jram72
    jram72 Posts: 9 Member
    What is your goal weight? Maybe he is just concerned and being thoughtful?
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I know a couple of my MFPals in real life. I have my weight loss on my ticker for ME to see my own progress though, whether anyone else looks at it or cares.

    I'm not sure I see the dilemma here...If this is a "real life" friend aren't they going to physically see you at whatever weight you end up, regardless of whether they know the number on the scale? Very few of my real life friends know my actual weight or the number I am aiming for, if they asked I'd tell them but otherwise, none of their business. I don't go around asking my friends how much they weigh :) Unless you're going about this in an unhealthy manner, in which case a real friend might express concern, why do you care what they say? Also...if they haven't logged into MFP in 6 months, it's unlikely they are looking at your ticker.

    In the end, this journey is about you, right? so take care of you and do what's best and healthiest for your body.
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 762 Member
    I was ashamed about how much I weighed, now I'm still overweight by average standard... but I am not ashamed about my weight anymore... if a friend or an acquaintance doesn't like to know my weight, then.... they can suck on it.

    lol because it's my weight and it's my freedom of choice to be open or not... who cares if he/she doesn't like my weight or look down upon me because I weigh too much (oh i have those... "friends"). lol....
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
    308lbs as of 8am. That's my weight IRL and online. I don't care who knows. I care greatly about that number, but I certainly don't care what anybody else thinks about it.
  • dakitten2
    dakitten2 Posts: 888 Member
    I've owned my weight since day one! I'll tell anyone who wants to know. Owning it was the first step for me. I weighed 290 the day I started. Sixteen weeks later (yesterday) I weighed 239. Still have a long way to go. But I'll be the first person to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done so far.

    As far as your friend goes, if he hasnt logged in for 6 months, I'd use the delete button. Just my opinion tho.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Have you considered just telling him how you feel when he says things regarding your goal weight?

    You might not have to go through the hassle of unfriending him, refriending him, deleting him, hiding him or whatever you plan on doing. He might not realize that it bothers you, or maybe he does and you need to set some boundaries with him regarding your friendship and your weight loss/goal weight.
  • wilkin777
    wilkin777 Posts: 73 Member
    219lb at the moment. down 5 lb on MFP but down from 247 so far.

    I don't mind telling people because it is no longer something to be ashamed of. I am dealing with it, my way, with help and support. I am making myself better but hiding the number from people makes it a bit like a nasty little secret. It's not. It's only a number and with some work and perseverance it will reduce. It's important to me but the only thing that should be important to others is my happiness.
    One of my fave quotes "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

    ps six months is a very reasonable cut off point to take someone off your friend list if they are doing you no favours : )
  • Lrt4uk
    Lrt4uk Posts: 174
    Very open, and those who don't much like it can blow....

    I've only been around a short amount of time, but I gotta say, You're one that I see consistent with your views and right out there with your opinions! Thanks!
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Some people judge you no matter what you do. I say do whatever feels best for you, including possibly keeping him as a MFP friend, and managing the judgment if and when it comes up. Learning to diplomatically set up boundaries is a lifetime skill that can help you in other areas. Of course, if he is a hopeless harpy who harasses you no matter what you say, delete him and don't think another thing about it. If he notices and asks about it, tell him the truth about why you did it.
  • taliesyn_
    taliesyn_ Posts: 219 Member
    I was 385 in September 2008; I was 274 this past Monday (including a 22-month hiatus where I gained over 40!). I like seeing what I've lost on the ticker as it is a measure of the achievement - this time it isn't going back over 300 and as my weight drops, so that limit will drop too. 165 would mean I could call myself "healthy" - but I'll be happy if I can break 200. My immediate goal is 273 (as a Brit I weigh in stones and one more pound will give me a loss of 8 stones or 1 hundredweight).
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
    On a side note: GO SOX!!!!!
  • MissStaceFace
    MissStaceFace Posts: 7
    Delete him!!! Anyone who makes you feel bad for reaching your goals is poisen!! Surround yourself with people who are supportive and proud of you. You should own your weight and feel comfortable about owning your weight loss. You go!
  • FitSid
    FitSid Posts: 117 Member
    Unfriend!
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
    If that friend hasn't been here for 6 months, then they've most likely gievn up on /forgotten about MFP. Just delete and don't spend a second worrying about it
  • michiganderrdh
    michiganderrdh Posts: 151 Member
    I'd switch it and if he says something, unfriend him and let him know the issue.
  • tsherm3850
    tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
    I've struggled with this too. I changed my ticker to equal my first goal of 40 lbs. I wanted to join a challenge where I had to post my weekly weight. How am I to participate if I struggle posting my weekly weigh-in and still succeed? If I want to succeed, I have to post my weight. Plain and simple. I guess they can "think" whatever they want but just don't talk to me about it. I know my problem and I'm working on it. Giving me grief will only make it harder. On the other hand, I don't think they would give me grief about it. They want me to succeed. So I'd delete the person. If they haven't been on in 6 months, it's highly unlikely that they'll ever see you deleted them or your new weight.
  • sjkcarter
    sjkcarter Posts: 417 Member
    Most of my RL friends are not on here, but they are not trying to loss weight either. I am very open, with whoever is on here, and whoever ask for that matter. I am very proud of the progress i have made, and if people have something negative to say I just ignore it and "keep it moving".
  • slimmergalpal
    slimmergalpal Posts: 235 Member
    well, this time I am doing this for me. I guess when you get to a certian point , you have to start doing this for you- and not what another may or may not say. I agree with all the above, get rid of the people that make you feel bad. Only you can let someone make you feel that way. You are giving them power over you. Sounds not worth it to me. I know how others have thought about me being over 100lbs overweight and it does hurt. But, this is the place where everyone is in the same boat. This place is mass love and support. Add me if you would like, I need support too. Long journey ahead. =)
  • d3mon4ngel
    d3mon4ngel Posts: 242 Member
    I don't care who knows how much I weigh. I started at 188 about 3 weeks ago, and I'm currently down to 185, with my official weigh in on a Monday so hopefully lost an extra little bit by then :wink:

    The only two people I have on my friends list are my fiance and my RL best friend, and they both know how much I weigh.

    My ticker currently shows how many lbs I've lost, but once I get so far along I'm planning on changing it to "lbs to go". It's a personal motivation thing. This site is the tool I use to keep a track of myself, I don't use it to track others.

    As for your situation, change it to whatever you want. If he doesn't like it, then so what? Delete him from your friends list and tell him why if he asks. This is about your journey :flowerforyou:
  • smilebhappy
    smilebhappy Posts: 811 Member
    Very open, and those who don't much like it can blow....

    Haha!!!! I love this :D
    I must say I've seen MaximalLife's comments on other posts before.....you are very openminded & say just how it is...love it!!!!

    Karen,
    I know/knew 3 ppl IRL on MFP.
    1 is still on here occasionally....
    the other 2 had not logged on in over 2 months & I deleted both of them
    (I want/need ppl that are serious about why they are here & supportive as well...)

    I am pretty open about my weight & goals
    I know I am not perfect but I am trying....just taking one day at a time :D
  • smilebhappy
    smilebhappy Posts: 811 Member
    On a side note: GO SOX!!!!!

    YES!!!! woooo hoooooo!!!!!!!!
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