Are women more like men??

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This woman LOVES eye candy!

Yes. We all have testosterone, women just generally have less.

However - the following I believe is very true - except for the last part.

I believe most american women are walking around with virtual burkas over their sexual thought life, hiding themselves and never discovering that they can be free to express themselves sexually without being labeled a *kitten*.

It's sad, really. By and large - women are still labeled as sluts or *kitten* if they behave as a man would sexually. Think about it. In general, if a man has, say, 20+ partners he is congratulated - a stud. If the same is true of a woman - she is mostly considered 'tainted goods'. (Yes - friends - I wrote 'taint'.)

Isn't the man with 20+ partners tainted in your eyes though? Its thought of by women just not spoken out loud like a man would.

I think the answer would be yes. The man with 20+ partners might be great to sleep with. But I am not sure I am going to marry him. I probably would think he is a player. But that's just me. Plenty of men (and women) who have slept with 20+ people are married, so it bothers someone less than me.

More importantly, why does society make women feel like they cannot be open about these things, if men can?

You are right. We should all be able to be open and honest and no one judge.

More importantly, why does society make women feel like they cannot be open about these things, if men can?

You are right. We should all be able to be open and honest and no one judge.

Check out the bikini thread from yesterday and on into today,many women are the ones pushing a repressed mindset.

More importantly, why does society make women feel like they cannot be open about these things, if men can?

because society has been fed to believe that women should be docile, submissive things...while men can do as they please as long as it is legal. This chick doesn't play that game!

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"Isn't the man with 20+ partners tainted in your eyes though? Its thought of by women just not spoken out loud like a man would.
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So long as he's clean, is a good man, and doesn't jump into bed with my mom on our wedding night, I have no issues.
We all have a past, so long as we're open and honest about it there are no problems :flowerforyou:
But to each their own."
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As long as he doesn't care about my number I don't care about his...with the assumption safe sex will be practiced.

More importantly, why does society make women feel like they cannot be open about these things, if men can?

because society has been fed to believe that women should be docile, submissive things...while men can do as they please as long as it is legal. This chick doesn't play that game!

And that is why she is my friend.

But I'm definately walking around with a girl boner most days. :bigsmile: :huh:

That might be the best quote I've ever read.

In my opinion yes. Women and men are the same species. They want and shoot for the same basic things. I think culture dictates how they do it.

I also feel women are more visual than men are in that they hold visuals a lot more rigidly of what is and is not acceptable. Not every woman is alike but the ones that are very hard on their own visual appearance are usually equally hard on how she views males visually and to what standards she will accept from a male (or other female if she swings that way)

In my own slice of experience, men are typically more forgiving in that area overall. I'm not referring to the jersey shore type guys who live in the gym, i'm talking overall.

More importantly, why does society make women feel like they cannot be open about these things, if men can?

You are right. We should all be able to be open and honest and no one judge.

Check out the bikini thread from yesterday and on into today,many women are the ones pushing a repressed mindset.

Ugh. Don't get me started on that train wreck. But that still leads back to the original question. Why are we walking around repressing each other? Why do we feel threatened by things like this?

More importantly, why does society make women feel like they cannot be open about these things, if men can?

You are right. We should all be able to be open and honest and no one judge.

Check out the bikini thread from yesterday and on into today,many women are the ones pushing a repressed mindset.

Ugh. Don't get me started on that train wreck. But that still leads back to the original question. Why are we walking around repressing each other? Why do we feel threatened by things like this?

Probably because not every woman sees themselves as highly sexual beings, and don't want to be portrayed as that. They don't want their sexual appeal to be linked to their career success, etc. Also I think outdated religious beliefs are a huge factor as well.

They don't want their sexual appeal to be linked to their career success, etc.

But men do?

Also I think outdated religious beliefs are a huge factor as well.

I think misinterpretation of religious beliefs are a factor. I hold religious beliefs, and I do not feel they "repress" me.

Many children (me) are taught directly or indirectly to be ashamed of the sexuality and to hide their sexual thoughts, desires, feelings, and fantasies. Women and men alike. Women have the voice of culture riding their *kitten*, too, where men not so much.

I believe most american women are walking around with virtual burkas over their sexual thought life, hiding themselves and never discovering that they can be free to express themselves sexually without being labeled a *kitten*.

It's very refreshing to observe women behaving freely and casting off shame in the name of being genuine and authentic and real. Not because I'm a pervert, but because we're all cut from the same knife and have more in common than not when it comes to our basic desires.

The message here.... cast off shame and be authentic with yourself. Live genuinely. It's sexy as hell when women are real! And MFP is full of real women... Woot! :drinker:

I agree. Recently, the word "slut" can be used to apply to either sex, but that's still not the case everywhere. I think a lot of women don't admit to liking sex because they don't want that word (and others) applied to them and all the other connotations that go along with it.

Personally, generalizations haven't worked out very well for me for predicting anything. I think everything varies by the individual and you just have to get to know a person to find out what makes them tick. I've met women with high sex drives and men with low sex drives and everything in between. Same with porn preferences. You didn't even mention fetishes and basically anything you can imagine plus more is liked by somebody.

A few people have mentioned the men and emotions stereotype too. I also think there's a lot of cultural bias in that. While many women publicly suppress their desire for sex, many men publicly suppress their desire for emotional bonds. Get them in a relationship however and lots of men become quite emotional indeed. As another poster mentioned, some men even have PMS-like regular mood swings.

They don't want their sexual appeal to be linked to their career success, etc.

But men do?

Also I think outdated religious beliefs are a huge factor as well.

I think misinterpretation of religious beliefs are a factor. I hold religious beliefs, and I do not feel they "repress" me.

Well the catholic church says if you have sex before marriage, you are a sinner. There is no misinterpretation there. Not to say you're catholic, but there are millions if not billions who are and believe this.

Since men and women think differently sexually (my hypothesis), they aren't worried about others objectifying them.

And that belief is ok, but that doesn't mean as a women you can not express the desire. being open about it and going against beliefs are two seperate things...and yes I am catholic...and going to hell, lol.

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This woman LOVES eye candy!

Yes. We all have testosterone, women just generally have less.

However - the following I believe is very true - except for the last part.

I believe most american women are walking around with virtual burkas over their sexual thought life, hiding themselves and never discovering that they can be free to express themselves sexually without being labeled a *kitten*.

It's sad, really. By and large - women are still labeled as sluts or *kitten* if they behave as a man would sexually. Think about it. In general, if a man has, say, 20+ partners he is congratulated - a stud. If the same is true of a woman - she is mostly considered 'tainted goods'. (Yes - friends - I wrote 'taint'.)

Isn't the man with 20+ partners tainted in your eyes though? Its thought of by women just not spoken out loud like a man would.

ha ha! Yes.

In high school, we girls used to point out the guys that were "players" and warn other girls about them. We used the word "slut" to apply to guys sometimes too.

In fact, I only remember one girl that people called "slut" at my school (2000 students) and mostly we just felt sorry for her. She wasn't terribly bright and really wanted a guy to love her, but was fooled over and over into sleeping with someone who in fact didn't like her, but pretended to because he had heard she was easy. You can bet we avoided those boys too even if she was the only girl they had managed to have sex with. We had zero respect for guys like that.

(And yes, we did try to explain to this girl where she was going wrong, but there's only so much you can do. Luckily, in Grade 11 she found a guy who really did like her and they were still dating when we graduated.)

They don't want their sexual appeal to be linked to their career success, etc.

But men do?

Also I think outdated religious beliefs are a huge factor as well.

I think misinterpretation of religious beliefs are a factor. I hold religious beliefs, and I do not feel they "repress" me.

Well the catholic church says if you have sex before marriage, you are a sinner. There is no misinterpretation there. Not to say you're catholic, but there are millions if not billions who are and believe this.

Since men and women think differently sexually (my hypothesis), they aren't worried about others objectifying them.

And that belief is ok, but that doesn't mean as a women you can not express the desire. being open about it and going against beliefs are two seperate things...and yes I am catholic...and going to hell, lol.

I personally don't believe that women repress their own sexuality, I think those that lack sexuality and/or have strong religious conviction do attempt to repress the sexuality of others by calling them sluts, etc.

So when a woman tells me she has little sex drive, I tend to believe that she really does for perfectly valid biological reasons. And that is there is no need to be hyper-sexual, since they can't conceive children around the clock like males can.

i dont dispute that there is a percentage of women that really dont have the desire, biologically or otherwise. I do not except the premise that sex should only be for conception though (and I have yet to meet a man that can perform around the clock). I think it is a very important part of intimacy between man and woman (or husband and wife if that is someones belief). Sexual compatibility its important and if it can not be discussed openly than there is an issue.

I personally don't believe that women repress their own sexuality, I think those that lack sexuality and/or have strong religious conviction do attempt to repress the sexuality of others by calling them sluts, etc.

So when a woman tells me she has little sex drive, I tend to believe that she really does for perfectly valid biological reasons. And that is there is no need to be hyper-sexual, since they can't conceive children around the clock like males can.

i dont dispute that there is a percentage of women that really dont have the desire, biologically or otherwise. I do not except the premise that sex should only be for conception though (and I have yet to meet a man that can perform around the clock). I think it is a very important part of intimacy between man and woman (or husband and wife if that is someones belief). Sexual compatibility its important and if it can not be discussed openly than there is an issue.

I don't think it should be for conception only either. But I believe the desire for sex is based on our natural instincts more than culture. Men have to be ready to conceive at any time for survival of the species. Women only need to be ready to conceive when they are fertile. So naturally it makes sense that men want it all the time, and women don't.

So I guess my point is I don't think the cultural influence on female sexuality is as great as some here believe. Just a difference in philosophy.

valid point, Darwin would be proud...except I would edit to say "some women don't".

BTW, thank you for keeping this debate civil!