Is this bribery or Incentive?

mem50
mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
My niece wants/needs to lose 20 lbs. She has asked for my help. I set her up with a journal, (no internet) tips, recipes and exercise routines.

I love my niece dearly and want to help. I purchased a Goal Gift for her. For every 5 lbs she loses I will give her a hint. When she hits her goal she gets the gift.

A friend at work says I should not bribe her into losing the weight. I say it's an incentive since she has determined she needs to do this.

Thoughts?
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Replies

  • pamelad77
    pamelad77 Posts: 292 Member
    Bribery? Incentive? Does it matter so long as it works?!
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    Hey, you were asked for help. Sounds like a great way to help!
  • For_the_Last_Time
    For_the_Last_Time Posts: 136 Member
    She came to you for help, then you decided to give her an incentive to keep at it.


    Bribe would have been if you went to her and said if you drop 30 pounds I will buy you X.


    At least in my mind they are two totally different things!
  • BellydanceBliss
    BellydanceBliss Posts: 330
    yeah here we go someone in our world insinuated themselves to give their opinion when not asked lol. I see no problem with this. You obviously have been a role model for her. I bow to you.
  • tehzephyrsong
    tehzephyrsong Posts: 435 Member
    I agree with other commenters, if she asked you for help in the first place then I think it's fine, it's just encouragement.
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
    Agree with the feeling that she came to you, and you came up with a plan to help her. That's an incentive.
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
    Thanx all. I do appreciate your input. When this person at work said this I started to double think myself and when I do that I get a little confused. I'm glad she came to the conclusion she needs to lose the weight now before it gets worse and it will. It seems to be genetic. We call it the Goodell curse. I think that way back when if I was encouraged more and told less that there was nothing I could do about it, just live with it I would not have had the problems I have.....but then again.....would I be the person I am now without going though all this?

    Sheesh, there I go thinking again. lol
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    I think it's great you're helping your niece, and I think incentives work. After all, we all get an incentive at our jobs...it's a paycheck.
  • coquette87
    coquette87 Posts: 114
    A lot of adults bribe themselves. How many times do people say, "When I hit my goal I'm going to buy a new outfit/take a vacation/buy a new bathing suit..."? For a kid who may not have any disposable income or much control, having someone give her something could work very well. Hopefully, by the time she gets to her goal, she'll have a lot of solid healthy habits in place.
  • rayleansout
    rayleansout Posts: 234
    You are doing a great thing!!
  • DoBetterDrea
    DoBetterDrea Posts: 85 Member
    She came to you for help, then you decided to give her an incentive to keep at it.


    Bribe would have been if you went to her and said if you drop 30 pounds I will buy you X.


    At least in my mind they are two totally different things!

    ^ What she said!
  • For_the_Last_Time
    For_the_Last_Time Posts: 136 Member
    Yes sometimes we do think too much!! Maybe you did go through it so she wouldn't.


    Oh and awesome weight loss!!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    Stop thinking and second guessing. You're encouraging her. :smile:
  • 57rainbows
    57rainbows Posts: 101 Member
    Bribery is trying to get someone to do something they *don't* want to do by offering something. You can't bribe her to reach her own goal, any more than you could *bribe* me to cuddle a kitten. I WANT to do it, you wouldn't be making me do it. Same thing.


    Bribing someone to lose weight would not be a good idea - it has to come from within, like it did for her!
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    I would say its incentive!

    IF you had said: "If you loose weight i'l give you a gift".. then thats bribery.
    But because she has gone; "im going to loose weight", and then you've brought the gift in, its a great incentive! =)
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    What is the difference between what you're doing with her and when people set rewards? Nothing. Sometimes knowing there's a prize at the end of the game helps keep people on track.

    She asked for help and you're helping her.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    If this is the motivation that works for her then I say go for it! As a child my mom tried a couple of times to get me to lose weight with the promise of a new wardrobe. I guess that wasn't for me because I never lost the weight, lol! Anyway, it shows that you love her and it's one of those feel good stories and I hope that she does well :)
  • shine_
    shine_ Posts: 150 Member
    She came to you, and you've given her the journal etc to help her along which was what she asked for, the gift sounds like a brilliant way for her to stay motivated. The fact that you've already bought it I think is great as well, because you're signalling to her that you know she can do it, you haven't said "IF you do this I'll get you something". I wouldn't worry about it, sounds to me like you're doing a great job!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Nothing wrong with rewarding hard work and we all know that losing weight is very hard work.:smile:
  • frogger581
    frogger581 Posts: 17
    either way as long as it works. my job began a wellness incentive program. i get paid money for hitting certain goals. in turn my reason for losing weight isnt just the health benefits its payments toward my car and new dvds.
  • Bysshe
    Bysshe Posts: 428 Member
    I think it's great to have something to work towards. I don't see a problem with an incentive.
  • Shaigirl79
    Shaigirl79 Posts: 52 Member
    Thanx all. I do appreciate your input. When this person at work said this I started to double think myself and when I do that I get a little confused. I'm glad she came to the conclusion she needs to lose the weight now before it gets worse and it will. It seems to be genetic. We call it the Goodell curse. I think that way back when if I was encouraged more and told less that there was nothing I could do about it, just live with it I would not have had the problems I have.....but then again.....would I be the person I am now without going though all this?

    Sheesh, there I go thinking again. lol


    If you had took it upon yourself to go to her and try to get her to lose the weight... that would be bribery. But because SHE came to you, it's an incentive! I have my own incentives. I knew this would require hard work and a lot of dedication. I figure by rewarding myself every 25 lbs, it'll help make it a little easier. And every little bit helps! :-)
  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
    Whatever works.. I have to bribe myself at times...or give myself incentive. Whatever you want to call it. I'll tell myself "if you make good choices, drink X amt of water, and work out x times then you can buy that new nail polish you've been wanting" and it works.
  • PrincessLou71186
    PrincessLou71186 Posts: 741 Member
    She came to you for help, then you decided to give her an incentive to keep at it.


    Bribe would have been if you went to her and said if you drop 30 pounds I will buy you X.


    At least in my mind they are two totally different things!

    Agree.

    It's no different to any of us saying "When I get to this weight I am getting/doing this."
  • pauljsolie
    pauljsolie Posts: 1,024 Member
    I say whatever gets the horse to drink the water is ok by me!!! You are a good aunt.

    Not calling your niece a horse!!!!:noway:
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Sounds like positive reinforcement to me. Losing weight / getting healthier = benefits & rewards.

    Good call.
  • dutchjacky
    dutchjacky Posts: 46 Member
    I call it an incentive, my daughter is on here and her incentive for the nest 14 pounds is that I will come visit for a weekend. I live in Holland and she lives in England, she cant wait. xx
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
    WHat you are doing is awesome!!! love the thought
  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 406 Member
    Wow, I think that's such a wonderful thing you're doing in supporting your niece! I agree with the others, definitely not a bribe in any negative sense of the word :) I wish her the best of luck - you sound like a great role model!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I think we all have motivations for losing weight, whether it's an object we want to get or a personal goal. A reason is a reason. The only worry is that once she reaches the weight she will have no incentive to continue (possibly). She should also think of a goal to go along with your incentive.
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