Is this bribery or Incentive?

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  • Bysshe
    Bysshe Posts: 428 Member
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    I think it's great to have something to work towards. I don't see a problem with an incentive.
  • Shaigirl79
    Shaigirl79 Posts: 52 Member
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    Thanx all. I do appreciate your input. When this person at work said this I started to double think myself and when I do that I get a little confused. I'm glad she came to the conclusion she needs to lose the weight now before it gets worse and it will. It seems to be genetic. We call it the Goodell curse. I think that way back when if I was encouraged more and told less that there was nothing I could do about it, just live with it I would not have had the problems I have.....but then again.....would I be the person I am now without going though all this?

    Sheesh, there I go thinking again. lol


    If you had took it upon yourself to go to her and try to get her to lose the weight... that would be bribery. But because SHE came to you, it's an incentive! I have my own incentives. I knew this would require hard work and a lot of dedication. I figure by rewarding myself every 25 lbs, it'll help make it a little easier. And every little bit helps! :-)
  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
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    Whatever works.. I have to bribe myself at times...or give myself incentive. Whatever you want to call it. I'll tell myself "if you make good choices, drink X amt of water, and work out x times then you can buy that new nail polish you've been wanting" and it works.
  • PrincessLou71186
    PrincessLou71186 Posts: 747 Member
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    She came to you for help, then you decided to give her an incentive to keep at it.


    Bribe would have been if you went to her and said if you drop 30 pounds I will buy you X.


    At least in my mind they are two totally different things!

    Agree.

    It's no different to any of us saying "When I get to this weight I am getting/doing this."
  • pauljsolie
    pauljsolie Posts: 1,024 Member
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    I say whatever gets the horse to drink the water is ok by me!!! You are a good aunt.

    Not calling your niece a horse!!!!:noway:
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Sounds like positive reinforcement to me. Losing weight / getting healthier = benefits & rewards.

    Good call.
  • dutchjacky
    dutchjacky Posts: 46 Member
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    I call it an incentive, my daughter is on here and her incentive for the nest 14 pounds is that I will come visit for a weekend. I live in Holland and she lives in England, she cant wait. xx
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
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    WHat you are doing is awesome!!! love the thought
  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 411 Member
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    Wow, I think that's such a wonderful thing you're doing in supporting your niece! I agree with the others, definitely not a bribe in any negative sense of the word :) I wish her the best of luck - you sound like a great role model!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I think we all have motivations for losing weight, whether it's an object we want to get or a personal goal. A reason is a reason. The only worry is that once she reaches the weight she will have no incentive to continue (possibly). She should also think of a goal to go along with your incentive.
  • bilzprincess
    bilzprincess Posts: 107 Member
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    As we get older we figure out the ways of our minds, and how we can trick our motivation into doing what we need. And I think for someone younger this is harder. They may not know entirely how to stay the course because they haven't learned what to do when they "day-fail". She will, but being a sounding board that helps her for brainstorming how to avoid that day-fail next time is invaluable. It makes ur incentives like love notes of support.

    How fat is the no-bribe coworker? Something to consider is folks' own issues when offer u the no-support.

    Ur niece will hv u in her court. Set up debriefing times for her to say "I fall off the wagon whenever I am at..."

    when my mother comes to dinner (she's had bariatric surgery) my daughter and I eat on tiny plates like hers. It sets the tone of support and safety in the family. Ur a good aunt. Tell her ur struggles. Be there to pick up pieces, and teach what u know. Ur incentive plan is no different from my hubby and I saying "when we're at goal we're going to Vegas and dressing to the nines every single night we're there!" go, Auntie, go! Save one American young person from becoming an obesity statistic.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    She asked for your help like an accountability partner please don't second guess yourself feel flattered she came to you and looks up too you ;)
  • ahealthy4u
    ahealthy4u Posts: 442 Member
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    She came to you for help, then you decided to give her an incentive to keep at it.


    Bribe would have been if you went to her and said if you drop 30 pounds I will buy you X.


    At least in my mind they are two totally different things!

    She asked for the help!!!
  • G30Grrl
    G30Grrl Posts: 377 Member
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    First of all, she did ask you for help, and I applaud you for providing it, as well as the incentive. Second, this is NOT bribery is the offering of money or other incentives to persuade somebody to do something that is generally dishonest or illegal. Losing weight is neither.

    This is behaviorism, a psychological method of using reinforcements/rewards to encourage positive behaviors. Almost every school teacher on the planet has used it in some form or another. So have employers (bonuses, merit raises, etc), coaches, as well as psychologists who write behavior plans. Even the military gives rewards (increase in rank) for good performance.

    Research has proven time and again that people learn best when they are rewarded for the behaviors we want them to learn or increase. Kudos to you for knowing and capitalizing on that fact.
  • Emily_Katherine
    Emily_Katherine Posts: 150
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    I think what you are doing is very sweet! She is lucky to have such a kind Aunt.
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
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    If anyone is still here that posted......Good News.....It took her 5 weeks but the niece has now lost 7 pounds. I am so happy about that!!

    When I told her about the "gift for goal" it really did seem to help her mind set. She was really thrilled to see how much she lost, but a little flustered that it was not more. Hey, slow and steady wins the race was my reply. Besides I feel that if you lose to much to quick it tends to show up again with "friends" LOL.
  • bilzprincess
    bilzprincess Posts: 107 Member
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    So true! Best to lose slowly and permanently.

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