Mental Hurdles

niknak30
niknak30 Posts: 58
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
I had an experience today that made me think of the mental hurdles I face every day with my weightloss.

My trainer is a big fan of running - I am not! However today he said "we are going to run" and so as always I just did it. The whole time though whilst doing my 30 sec intervals of running, I wasn't worried about the fact that I could barely breath or that I was sweating my head off. In fact, what worried me was that I could hear my skin slapping together...... believe me, it was a noise I didnt like and one I am sure my trainer could hear as well.
At 123kg I have a fat gut so the reality is that when I run, it makes noise.So in my head I was thinking "please god make it stop.... make the noise stop so that I can run and breath" rather than thinking "yay me I ran!"

This is a mental hurdle I really really need to get over as I know there is going to be more and more running in my future...... and lets face it..... the weight might fade away but the skin won't!!!

I also have the mental hurdle that I have always been told "gee you would be pretty if you were thin!" What if I am not? how do they know that? I have never been a thin or even average sized adult and I really struggle with the idea that people know what I will be when they or I have never seen it. Perhaps I will not be pretty, perhaps I will just be a thinner version of me.

This and many other similar stories are what has kept me overweight my entire adult life....

I am hoping this will slowly change as the kilos come off and other people realise what I already know which is that I am me, like it or not!

Replies

  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    I had an experience today that made me think of the mental hurdles I face every day with my weightloss.

    My trainer is a big fan of running - I am not! However today he said "we are going to run" and so as always I just did it. The whole time though whilst doing my 30 sec intervals of running, I wasn't worried about the fact that I could barely breath or that I was sweating my head off. In fact, what worried me was that I could hear my skin slapping together...... believe me, it was a noise I didnt like and one I am sure my trainer could hear as well.
    At 123kg I have a fat gut so the reality is that when I run, it makes noise.So in my head I was thinking "please god make it stop.... make the noise stop so that I can run and breath" rather than thinking "yay me I ran!"

    This is a mental hurdle I really really need to get over as I know there is going to be more and more running in my future...... and lets face it..... the weight might fade away but the skin won't!!!

    I also have the mental hurdle that I have always been told "gee you would be pretty if you were thin!" What if I am not? how do they know that? I have never been a thin or even average sized adult and I really struggle with the idea that people know what I will be when they or I have never seen it. Perhaps I will not be pretty, perhaps I will just be a thinner version of me.

    This and many other similar stories are what has kept me overweight my entire adult life....

    I am hoping this will slowly change as the kilos come off and other people realise what I already know which is that I am me, like it or not!

    This may sound weird, but when I am running, I wear spanxs. With the amount of weight I have lost, I have a bit of an apron-tummy. Once I get down to 175 I am going to have a tummy tuck.
  • gonzang
    gonzang Posts: 38 Member
    I struggle with those same hurdles, especially the self-consciousness during exercise with my trainer. Like you, I complete every session and I do what he instructs me to do when I am on my own. It gets better! You will feel less self-conscious as your body strengthens and loses fat. Last week I wore shorts to work out for the first time. It was liberating!

    Good luck to you as you change your life!
  • iwisheyes
    iwisheyes Posts: 95
    As one stranger-friend to another, I have to tell you honestly... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Our size is not our beauty. I struggle with the physical self-loathing, mirror avoidance, and other issues that many of us do, but I can acknowledge beauty when it shows, even in myself. Beauty radiates from the inside out, and you, my dear, are beautiful. Don't ever forget that.
  • niknak30
    niknak30 Posts: 58
    ]
    [/quote]

    This may sound weird, but when I am running, I wear spanxs. With the amount of weight I have lost, I have a bit of an apron-tummy. Once I get down to 175 I am going to have a tummy tuck.
    [/quote]


    I was running thinking - I wish I had support underwear on!
    Might have to wear them next time and see if they help
    Thanks for the tip
  • niknak30
    niknak30 Posts: 58
    Thanks so much for the supportive ideas and messages..... its nice to not feel alone in this battle!
  • TUBSjoshuadaniel
    TUBSjoshuadaniel Posts: 2
    Your smile is enough to see that you R pretty. So just work on losing flab. I have struggles too. I work around the country and struggle to tie my shoe laces and have to cross my legs to get it done. I am trying too. Having spent 20+years trying to be all that my family wanted, being the bread winner and protector it takes its toll. Disappointments in life, bullying @ work and discrimination affects me too. I am a very sensitive person who tries to make it comfy for all around me and in the process lose myself. Take care. Wish U the best and God bless. Josh
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    I had an experience today that made me think of the mental hurdles I face every day with my weightloss.

    My trainer is a big fan of running - I am not! However today he said "we are going to run" and so as always I just did it. The whole time though whilst doing my 30 sec intervals of running, I wasn't worried about the fact that I could barely breath or that I was sweating my head off. In fact, what worried me was that I could hear my skin slapping together...... believe me, it was a noise I didnt like and one I am sure my trainer could hear as well.
    At 123kg I have a fat gut so the reality is that when I run, it makes noise.So in my head I was thinking "please god make it stop.... make the noise stop so that I can run and breath" rather than thinking "yay me I ran!"

    This is a mental hurdle I really really need to get over as I know there is going to be more and more running in my future...... and lets face it..... the weight might fade away but the skin won't!!!

    I also have the mental hurdle that I have always been told "gee you would be pretty if you were thin!" What if I am not? how do they know that? I have never been a thin or even average sized adult and I really struggle with the idea that people know what I will be when they or I have never seen it. Perhaps I will not be pretty, perhaps I will just be a thinner version of me.

    This and many other similar stories are what has kept me overweight my entire adult life....

    I am hoping this will slowly change as the kilos come off and other people realise what I already know which is that I am me, like it or not!
    The real question is, why are you running? Whatever happened to walking? Oh I know, walking doesn't sell training packages like 30 HIIT sessions do....

    Image issues aside, you should really be asking your training why.
  • niknak30
    niknak30 Posts: 58
    I am only just starting to run. I have been training with him 2-3 times a week for the last four months so this hasn't been a first day thing...... he is just trying to challenge me and gradually work up to it. If I wasn't able to do it I know he would work around it.
    I have no complaints about my trainer, he is fabulous and incredibly supportive of my limitations physically and what is going on in my head as well.
    I have never felt pressured to spend more money by him, in fact he encourages me when I can fit it in to do group sessions to save money. I pay week to week, he works around my shift work schedule so I have no complaints there either.

    My issues are in my head, not ones he puts there
  • niknak30
    niknak30 Posts: 58
    Your smile is enough to see that you R pretty. So just work on losing flab. I have struggles too. I work around the country and struggle to tie my shoe laces and have to cross my legs to get it done. I am trying too. Having spent 20+years trying to be all that my family wanted, being the bread winner and protector it takes its toll. Disappointments in life, bullying @ work and discrimination affects me too. I am a very sensitive person who tries to make it comfy for all around me and in the process lose myself. Take care. Wish U the best and God bless. Josh

    Thanks Josh.......... its a battle for sure but just taking it one day at a time, I know we can all get there...good luck to you also
  • tlcprn
    tlcprn Posts: 13 Member
    I too am embarrassed when I work out. Don't have the excess skin yet (ha! imagine that, I'm looking forward to it!) but do have trouble breathing and sweating profusely when I even THINK about exercise! Can't wait to get to the point where it is habit and not a daily struggle to get out there and do it.
    About the "you'd be so pretty if you were thinner" people. I've not had anyone say that to me. Maybe they're afraid I'll wack them upside the head for being so offensive. IDK. Anyhow, I have a reply all ready for the first and any person who says that to me. I intend to fire back, "yeah? Well you might be pretty too, if you'd only put a little meat on your bones!!!" Offensive? You bet! Why is it ok to offend me because I'm overweight, but not you because you're trim? It's not! You can soften this up with a laugh and a "WELL!!!! How did that feel? It feels the same to me, ya know!"
    Good luck with the spanx. You're not alone! Power on, girl!
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