Problems with my son at school, help!

My children were going to bed a 6pm at 4 years of age, I think 8 is probably too late for him.

The quiet may be NO ONE's fault - some kids are just more sensitive to auditory stimulation. My three year old HATES loud noise - not because of anything we've done, he just has some auditory processing issues that are heightened by loud volume.

As far as the bed, that's hard. My kids (3 and 4) can go without naps for a day, but they they are falling asleep in the middle of the day the next day. We've tried earlier bedtimes with no naps, but it really didn't help - they just lay there till 8pm, their normal bedtime, and then were monsters the next day. And that's with us swimming for a couple hours (we have a pool) and then hitting the park in the evenings - tried that for a week and gave up, it's not that we weren't exhausting them, it's that they just COULDN'T fall asleep before 8.

I don't know how much TV he gets, but I have noticed my three year old falls asleep better if we turn the TV off an hour before bedtime, and just play quietly or read books.

I agree on the earlier bedtime...when mine were that age, bedtime started at 7:00...pajamas, toothbrushing, stories...they were usually nodding off by 7:30-7:45. But if he has a late afternoon nap(anything after 2:00)he will definitely NOT be ready to sleep by 8:00. Try scheduling the twins nap when you can spend some quiet time with him, maybe he just wants to reconnect with mom one-on-one.

My kids went to bed 7:30, even now the 8 year old still goes to bed at 7:30. She reads though and is usually asleep within an hour. Nap time was over by 4, so you may try to figure another way to calm him down instead of giving him a nap midday.

Some kids are sensitive to noise. See if the teacher has headphones. Many classes will allow the child to wear headphones which blocks out the noise so they can concentrate on work. They are not connected to music. Just used to block noise. Also, they are only to be used after the teacher gives the instructions.

I am a teacher in a classroom of 4 and 5 year olds. Here in California it's called PreKindergarten. My class has a mandatory 2 hour napping period every day. While the kids don't have to sleep, they do have to lay quietly and look at a book or whisper a song to themselves. That said, everyone falls asleep every day except for maybe one or two kids. They're tired! They use sooooo much energy playing and growing their brain! Some kids sleep longer than the two hours.

Kids use almost 70% of their nutritional calories for brain development at this age, compared with adults' 30% for brain activity. Does your child get good nutrition? A balanced diet? How is his growth? I'm asking these questions because I personally have Celiac disease and my primary symptom was fatigue. In kids, Celiac disease can lead to malnutrition, failure to thrive, and tiredness. (A lack of oxygen carried through the blood.)

How does your son seem to get along in the classroom in general, though? Is he happy and enjoying school? I have a particular student who uses, "I'm tired" as an avoidance technique. He has learned this is a way to be left alone. For him, I offer to get out his blankets, etc right there in the middle of the classroom (while all of his friends are playing) and he usually realizes this means he can't play either. Suddenly he's not tired. Maybe there needs to be some observation and reflection done by the teacher on what specific moments your son says this (an activity he doesn't like? a partner child he wants to avoid? a consequence he DOESN'T want to accept?) If you can pinpoint WHAT causes him to state he needs quiet you might be better equipped to handle this.

Does he literally need a quiet space? To be removed from an overstimulating situation/ Maybe this is a coping strategy for a feeling of being overwhelmed by what is going on around him. Maybe he needs to know he can go sit quietly in a separate area from the class for a few minutes if he needs a 'break.' Self-selecting to remove yourself from a situation is a healthy coping strategy. I know my classroom can get loud at times and some kids cover their ears and yell, "Be quiet!" When this happens I quickly facilitate using quieter voices in the classroom, but maybe your son is particularily selsitive to sound. Have you had his hearing checked? Maybe he's got ear infections?

Feel free to message me personally if you want to ask me anythign else. I love kids at this age. :flowerforyou:

I have a daughter that turns 5 in April. Her bedtime is 7pm & she gets up at 7am. She goes half a day of school and usually takes a small nap after she gets home from school. I can really tell if she doesn't get a nap. My older daughter had full day of school at the same age & had naps in school. At 4/5 kids still need to be getting plenty of sleep so I don't see why a nap would be hurting anything. Maybe move his bedtime up? My older daughter was really cranky when she was that age & I eventually had to move her bedtime to 6 because she would lay in bed for a while before going to sleep. So she would go to sleep by 8 instead of going to bed at 7 & falling asleep by 9 or 10.

As far as needing quiet I wouldn't be too worried about that. Both of my daughters hate loud noises & are constantly complaining that the other is "hurting their ears." Which I think really means they're annoying each other, not that it really hurts their ears.

Many years ago, our family went on vacation to Jamaica for a week and my son invited his good friend. The good friend's mother insisted that her son get an afternoon nap every day or he would "throw tantrums, be cranky, not sleep at night, etc." Since my son was not a napper, I ignored her directions and figured I would just play it by ear. (I know, I know, but it was my vacation and I was not going to sit in a hotel room babysitting her son.)

Day 1: her son complained of being tired after lunch. Rather than putting him down for a nap, we went to the beach...and then swimming in the pool, and then the boys played pool...and then we had dinner. Then the evening resort activities started and those boys were boogeying in the disco, swimming, playing bingo....all until around 11pm

Day 2: The boys were up at 7am, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Her son didn't mention being tired and Day 2 was a repeat of Day 1. This went on for 7 full days.

When we got home, I confessed that I hadn't made him take a nap. Over a long teary conversation with his mother, she confessed that she NEEDED him to take a nap because she needed "down time."

Try keeping your son busy and occupied and maybe take a long look at the dynamics going on in your family.

Aw, hang in there. My son still napped at 5 years old. School would just wipe him out.

Here is one thought on the "needing quiet." At my kids school, they let the kids use big head phones when they need to concentrate. The head phones muffle the sounds of the other kids and can help them focus. The headphones are not connected to any music or anything, just noise reduction. You could try those little foam ear plugs if the school is ok with it.

Take care.

Sunday through Thursday night my son is in bed & asleep between 7.30-8pm. He wakes up around 6.30am. He is 4 & is in reception at school full time (8.30am till 3pm). At weekends we are more flexible but if he is up after 8.30pm it is an event.

A tired child will sleep when bedtime comes so it seems letting him nap in the day is affecting his nighttime sleep pattern.

Personally I stopped my sons day naps when he was around 3 as he was not going to sleep for over 30mins to an hour after being put down. After stopping the naps he was asleep within 10 minutes of going down & these days it takes him about 5 minutes to drift off.

I don't know a single child of this age still sleeping in the day, quiet time for 30 minutes if they get weepy or grumpy is usually enough to sort them out.

But only you know your child, no two are the same but generally most children follow a similar developmental pattern.