So my wife & I got in a dispute last night...

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Replies

  • littleworm23
    littleworm23 Posts: 341 Member
    It sounds like she is a mixture of jealous of you and frustrated with her own weight loss. I'm sorry that it was you she took it out on. Maybe it is because she had to take it out on someone and she knows you are the one most likely to forgive her, look past it and love her even when she goes a little nutty. I hope she realizes her mistake and apologizes.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    Sorry to hear this, man.

    I am counting my blessings that my wife went through this journey before I did. She is supportive and happy for me. I wish everyone could have that.

    I really don't have any advice.. :(
  • 226Muriel
    226Muriel Posts: 138 Member
    SIGHT IMPAIRED...

    YIKES, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS NOT ON YOUR BAND WAGON FOR THIS JOURNEY. SHE HAS HER OWN JOURNEY AND UNFORTUNATELY IS NOT OPEN TO MAKE ANY CHANGES AT THIS TIME....BE PATIENT AND CONTINUE TO TRAVEL DOWN YOUR PATH. ALL WILL BE WELL WITH TIME.

    ODAT:flowerforyou:
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
    While she does appear to be quite jealous and/or envious, she also is obviously ignorant (that means misinformed, not stupid) about what it takes to change your diet. I agree with a previous poster that said "Rice cakes make me angry!" Amen, sister! I eat these, instead:

    http://www.soveryblessed.com/2012/02/quinoa-pizza-bites.html

    THAT "diet food" is a not-so-little slice of heaven, and only 175 calories for 5.

    She needs to educate herself about healthy living, instead of Weight Watchers style dieting. That might make all the difference. And, of course, using MFP.
  • TomsGirl86
    TomsGirl86 Posts: 26
    As the other posters have said, she is envious of your loss and frustrated that she's trying so hard, but isn't receiving any positive feedback.

    I think you should have a little talk with her. Remind her how beautiful and sexy she is and that you are so proud of her for losing weight, even though it's hard.
    Also tell her that yes, as a man, you will lose your weight more quickly, but it hurts you that she doesn't see how much effort you're putting into it too.

    (I know us women are pretty emotional, but your feelings matter too)

    Let her know that you will do this together, but that you understand how she's feeling as a woman and that if she would like to join MFP that there are plenty of women here that feel exactly the same way and are going through the same struggles xx
  • Graciecny
    Graciecny Posts: 302 Member
    This is coming from the fat chick who got dragged to Ironman events (full, half, Olympic distance, you name it) by her beloved. I HATED it and I resented that it was so easy for him to go from overweight to buff and logging 140.6 in one day. Total, screaming, neon-green-eyed-monster jealous. Not that I want to run triathlons, but still...

    Now I am here and trying to watch what I eat (and logging it religiously, although my diet hasn't changed as much as it should, my portion control at least makes it a huge stride in the right direction). DH just got on last week, weeks after I started piddling around with this and...drumroll please...he's lost more weight than me. Talk about frustrating!

    It's not his fault, it's not my fault. I actually get jealous of his calorie allowance per day - it is nearly TWICE mine. So those of you that think pointing her to MFP will make it all better, um...might actually bring up a whole 'nother issue. :grumble:

    Anyways, support, support, support, as you are already doing. Just don't think that bringing her here will be the cure-all. It may well lead to another set of issues. Just a warning, FWIW.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I agree that your wife is jealous by your loss and maybe frustrated about her own situation. So many people make weight loss feel harder on themselves. There's a mind set that goes along with the old school "eat less, move more." mentality and the push of fad diets. If you believe everything about dieting that you've ever heard, yes living a healthy lifestyle seems like a daunting task, and I'm assuming she falls into this category. It requires discipline and understanding, but not necessarily sacrifice in the sense that she seems to think it should. That being said, it also requires a desire to understand your body and it's needs to maximize efficiency.

    As an off note, eating 1000 calories per day under your recommended seems a little severe to me personally. When I started that would have meant that I was netting 200 calories per day, and even now that would only be 425 - 600 per day net. Those numbers fall into a dangerous range, and while they may work well for fast weightloss at first, it's not sustainable for a healthy lifestyle.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    There is one universal truth; women will always find something to complain about. You doing well definitely means she's not.
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