Am I being paranoid?

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Vodkha
Vodkha Posts: 352 Member
in Chit-Chat
Talked to this guy online for a year, consider each other friends, we texted daily before we met. We finally met and it went good, he was flirty and touched my knee a few times. Now it sort of seems he has changed, not texting as much but says he had fun and wants to see me again. I asked if we could go to a movie and he said yes. I suggested we go to the next town over and he said maybe, but not on Tuesday night because he works the next day. (it takes an hour to get there), Then I suggested I chill at his house and we watch UFC together. He asked who was fighting but never answered me. I also gave him the option of not doing anything. I know if he didnt want to do anything or see me again he would say so. I also know during that year of us talking online he had previously told me even if he likes someone he doesnt need to see or talk to them daily. It's just not who he is. I feel like when I try to text him that I am bothering him. I love texting and I guess he sees that now that we have met and live in the same town, maybe it isnt as important to text so much? I dont know. Am I being paranoid?
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Replies

  • chicago_dad
    chicago_dad Posts: 357
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    I say it's time to move on.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I say you should just leave the ball in his court, and start looking again. It sounds like he's trying to cut everything loose.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    yea, you showed you're interested, if he is he should contact you other wise...you know the deal
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    ask him if his feelings have changed since meeting in RL
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I think you should be honest with him and also our emotions are very deceptive. Love is an action not a feeling. There is no greater love than that of he who will lay his life down for his brother. I think it changes things when you change up a relationship. When you meet it's like hitting the reset button on a relationship. Also when you write someone you don't really know them. It's easy to have a missrep of someone who's on the other side of a computer or text. I'd give it some time. I do get where you are comming from and my heart goes out to you.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    He is clearly intimidated by your awesome biceps. Cut him loose
  • newfieborn
    newfieborn Posts: 85
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    Are you sure he is not married??? sounds like he is hiding something.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I think you sound like me!!! It's no fun, I know... I tend to overanalyze and disect everything.

    The best thing is to just relax, I KNOW easier said than done but whether this guy likes you or not, it's not going to change anything by you worrying or questioning everything.
    It sounds at the least, you made a new friend. Enjoy that. If it's in the process of growing into more, don't rush it. TRUST ME I KNOW EXACTLY what you're feeling. I've accepted that at the least, I've made a great new friend and if it were to ever grow into more, cool, if not, he will be an awesome cool guy that I can have fun with.

    I do recomment you pull back and not always be the initiator in contact or planning. I did that as well lol. Hey, my guy is a great one, can't blame me for wanting to be around him... but I started to see it was more me so I pulled back (it was HARD) and sure enough he started texting/ calling me and invited me out. Let him participate... if not, it's all 1 sided and you'll never know (because you're not giving him the chance) if he likes you back in that way.
  • gingerflwrs
    gingerflwrs Posts: 1
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    Sounds like he's married or in a relationship. I'd say move on.
  • cfreema
    cfreema Posts: 30 Member
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    If he is into you he will do everything in his power to be with you. Sounds like he isn't, so take a step back and think about it. Do you really want to be with a person who can't be everything that you want?
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    If he is into you he will do everything in his power to be with you. Sounds like he isn't, so take a step back and think about it. Do you really want to be with a person who can't be everything that you want?

    ^^ this ..
  • tazhinshaw
    tazhinshaw Posts: 297 Member
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    Read 'He's just not that into you' it has stories just like this. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and if a guy wants to be with you, he will be! Best wishes,.
  • Singsince2
    Singsince2 Posts: 31
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    It's gotta hurt, but I think he is slowing things down too much. After meeting, things should speed up. Why in the world would it take a whole year to meet when you live in the same town? You are not being paranoid, you are being smart. This guy is married or a commitment phoebe. I think he likes the chase and is being a complete jerk now that you have met. You are worth soooooo much more than this guy is willing to recognize. I know it will be hard, but move on.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    he's just not into you. move along and find someone that is.

    but my gut says he's married
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    I'm reading thru these posts and I agree...and need to follow the same advise myself...I just watched the movie "He's just not that into you" I love the line at the end (had to google it so I could read it again and again) where she's talking about what we girls sometimes need to do. No, its not easy, but sometimes just sitting back and waiting is the best thing to do. My mom always told me, guys don't want to be chased. They are natural born hunters. Let him chase you. However, do keep your eyes and your ears open. Be aware of the "flags" Good luck to you!
  • mrsgoodwine
    mrsgoodwine Posts: 468 Member
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    If a guy is truly interested he would make time to see you. He does not sound interested. I say move on.
  • flatbellybella
    flatbellybella Posts: 303 Member
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    I love how MFP has turned into Yahoo answers... seriously. lol no sarcasm. It's a win win for me.

    I would say he's just not that into you. Go off of actions and IF he REALLY wanted to be with you... well you already know the answer.
    It's always the hard truth- no one wants to hear "yeah, he probably just doesn't like you THAT much" but it sounds like he really doesn't. I wouldn't sweat it (again easier said than done)
    but move on to bigger and better!
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Keep it moving...

    He would pursue you if he was into you....or at the very least you would be pursuing each other.

    Usually if there is stalling from someone....something or someone is holding them back. Don't stick around to find out what it is....

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I wouldn't pursue it any further. Like the others have said, he'd make time to see you if he was interested.
  • Alma_Sana
    Alma_Sana Posts: 453 Member
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    Keep it moving...

    He would pursue you if he was into you....or at the very least you would be pursuing each other.

    Usually if there is stalling from someone....something or someone is holding them back. Don't stick around to find out what it is....

    Good luck :flowerforyou:


    I kind of agree. I would back off on the texting and do it every once in awhile only. See if he picks up the ball and communicates more. He should be pursuing you. If he doesn't I would say he is more in the friend zone and move on.

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