When Friends don't eat healthy

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  • chelso0o
    chelso0o Posts: 366 Member
    I work with a wonderful friend who thinks food = love. She had gastric bypass 2 1/2 years ago. I had mine July 2011. I am sticking to a healthy, clean eating plan high in protein. She has gotten off track, gained weight, and is now attending Weight Watchers. I see M&M's by her desk, a bowl full of chocolate mini candy bars, and she brings in cakes, donuts, and other goodies. I won't eat any of it. Sugar causes dumping syndrome. But I feel like of all people, she should have more self restaint. All of us have asked her not to bring this stuff in. She just smiles and says "I do it because I love you". Don't love me so much :)

    That's not love :-/
  • MoLove2025
    MoLove2025 Posts: 135 Member
    you really have to watch out for people that are not trying to live healthy life styles they have a way of getting you off track if its intentional or not. My ex-boyfriend used to get off work kinda late and we would eat out all the time....needless to say i gained some weight that i had lost back even though i kept persisting that i cant continue to eat so late in the evening.

    Now i have learned to just say no. My current boyfriend is supportive but a bit skeptical if i will stick with my journey. So when he has something i dont want like a beer he doesnt ask if i want any cause he already knows and i also have to resist myself.

    I've even learned to help my friends by getting them to avoid some of the unhealthy foods they may see when we are out....like at the mall they have this cookie spot thats hard to avoid but i managed to get her mind off of the cookie by purposely walking around in the other direction.

    The most important thing is your health so dont ever feel bad about that.
  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
    Don't feel bad. You gotta do what's best for you and if you had enough then so be it. I would chat with her and try and smooth things over so she's not offended but only if you want to.

    Fortunately I haven't had to deal with this. Everyone has been extremely supportive and accepting of my choices. I had a co-worker who didn't know I was eating healthier hand me a chocolate bar the other day and another co-worker beside him grabbed it and said, "No, she's eating healthy these days!" It was too funny and we all had a little chuckle, lol.
  • LainMac
    LainMac Posts: 412 Member
    Multiple cakes? That confuses me. Now if she made you a from scratch cake from the best ingredients and you wouldn't eat it, then I could see her getting a little testy. Or that she made the guac herself. Or stopped special at that little Mexican place that makes their chips by hand and brought them hot from the oven.

    But she ran to the store and bought a whole bunch processed food and was mad that you didn't chow down with her?

    I think folks should not expect to get "Wow, thanks" for buying processed junk foods. She may thought she was buying it for you but her reaction makes me think she was buying it for herself and was just happy to share it with you to syndicate responsibility. (You see I had to eat it because it was HER birthday, doncha know.)
  • eve7166
    eve7166 Posts: 218 Member
    Dont feel bad..she should be supportive... my bff came over Friday and I asked her to stop at 7 eleven and pick up some sodas for her and some other friends coming over. She also brought me a box full of donuts! I told her thanks but I couldnt eat it and she took the box later on that night with the leftovers. No big deal :)
  • xandra
    xandra Posts: 101 Member
    Most of my friend are naturaly thin and they don't eat very healthy foods. If I know I'm going out on the wknd I will bank my calories during the wk so that I can indulge a little on the weekend . I also do an extra hour at the gym to make up for the extra calories. I hope this helps.
  • rrrbecca11
    rrrbecca11 Posts: 477
    Feel bad for HER. For yourself, be proud. :)
  • halejr23
    halejr23 Posts: 294
    It takes a while for your friends to catch on to your new eating habits. Mine still tease me as I rarely eat at restaurants any more - and when I do I order a burger with no buns! - but they now understand it is who I am. Give it time and don't change your new healthier habit. Let them eat what they want and you eat what you want.
  • Cgrrrl
    Cgrrrl Posts: 5
    I think it's normal to feel a little badly that her feelings were hurt. But it's a two-way street: if she knows you work out, then she should check with you if you'll share in a Cheat Day. If she assumed, then, well, you know what they say about assuming! She shouldn't be upset that you didn't eat it. Your friend likely had good intentions but should consider why her feelings were hurt. There is nothing wrong with turning down something that isn't going to benefit you, i.e. junk food or a really poor choice by your friends on a blind date option!
    It's great that you wanted to share your light margarita mix with her! She had two options: pout, or join in! Hopefully she will grow accustomed to your healthier choices and maybe even, with a bit of encouragement, your healthy behaviours will start to rub off and she will join you! :)
  • JustLena75
    JustLena75 Posts: 114
    You refer to her as a 'good' friend...a good friend would have already KNOWN what you were trying to accomplish!
  • rubyosburn
    rubyosburn Posts: 119 Member
    You should not feel bad. Your friend should understand and respect your wishes to eat healthy. While it is okay to indulge a bit enough was enough. Happy Birthday by the way!
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