Poll: Is it Rude to Question the Waiter When Out To Lunch Wi

JanieJack
JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was reminded of this while reading another post, and would like to know what y'all think:

A couple years ago, I was out to lunch with coworkers and it was time to order. I asked how the chicken was cooked, to make sure it wasn't fried, and when it came time for the salad, asked the waiter what the dressings were. He listed them off, and I selected one. Then he asked about my sides, and I asked if the day's veggies were grilled. He told me, and I finished my order.

I was feeling really good about my healthy selection when a coworker leaned over and said, "Do you ALWAYS do that every time you eat out?" I looked at her (having no clue what she was talking about) and said, "Do what? What did I do?" She and the guys at the table fidgeted, and it wasn't until later that I realized, "Oh, she must mean my asking about the food options."

What do you think? Rude or Responsible?
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Replies

  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    Responsible! You have the right to eat your food exactly as you want it. Even out at a restaurant.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,316 Member
    You are the one ordering the food. It is their job to satisfy you. If simply asking questions is considered rude, then we have a problem in this world.
  • Noley80
    Noley80 Posts: 1 Member
    Not rude at all...you were being accountable for your actions.

    I have an allergy so I HAVE to ask questions like that. No, its not fun. But neither would the consequences.



    Good for you. Don't let them make you feel awkward.
  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Posts: 242 Member
    Responsible. Although, it's important to read the menu first to make sure you are not asking questions that are already answered. I used to be a server, it's their job to know how the food is prepared and get you what you want. I actually liked it when people had special requests because it usually meant a higher tip... opportunities to exceed expectations. Good job on the food choices.
  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 Member
    I'm going to ask so I can be sure to get what I want, ie if I order a club sandwich and they insist on giving me mayo for it it better be on the side as I don't want it in the first place, if they can't do 'that' little thing then I don't need to eat there, ever.

    Asking how a food is prepared so you can pick something else is totally reasonable... I do it at home if my gf is cooking... how you going to cook that, why would I not at a restaurant so I can "Watch" what I'm eating
  • wwk10
    wwk10 Posts: 244 Member
    Even if not trying to eat healthy, I think asking about the menu is acceptable.
    I do it my friends do it. I would not have known what your coworkers meant either.

    I hang out with foodies and in some upscale restaurants its part of the experience.
    "Do the braised short ribs come with the fois gras?"
    "How did the chef prepare the butter for the steak?" (Putting butter on steak . . .wow)
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Absolutely not rude if it was done politely. Stiffing the waiter/ess on the tip is rude. B*ing at the server, or shorting them on a tip, for something that happened in the kitchen is rude (mentioning it is not). Politely asking how food is prepared is not rude at all. It's very common.
  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
    Not rude and I do it all the time!
  • loriamcq
    loriamcq Posts: 64
    Responsible. My boss does it so much the waiters and waitresses at our favorite restaurant remember her order and often remind her of what she likes/doesnt like. :)
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I can understand being annoyed by someone who takes all day to ask the waiter when you are on a short timeline for lunch, but those were quick questions.

    This happened about 7-8 years ago. I still ask such questions, lol. Just wondered what you all thought.
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    Bump!

    Curious for more opinions!
  • jennyjo79
    jennyjo79 Posts: 95 Member
    I got flack for this from a friend years ago when I first started WW and we went out to lunch. I don't see anything else wrong with it; as long as one is polite when they ask (which I'm sure you were), then it's not rude at all! You pay for the restaurant to make your meal; you should get it the way you need/like. As my WW leader said, "They're there to please you."
  • Mishi1369
    Mishi1369 Posts: 37
    Maybe it is because my close friends are vegetarians and always have to ask to make sure the meal is "meat-free" but I don't see even how any one could think this was rude. You are simply checking to make sure this is what you want to eat. Even if they didn't know the calorie-checking goal behind it, I still don't see a problem with asking the waiter polite questions about how the meal is prepared for whatever reason you are asking it.

    That person was jealous that you are taking care of yourself.
  • PepperGirl1
    PepperGirl1 Posts: 26 Member
    Being married to a chef, and being a former waitress myself, it is not rude to ask preparation questions of the waiter. And a good waiter knows the answers. Also, most restaurants can accomodate simple dietary needs when requested, such as dressing on the side, hold the mayo, toast bread with no butter on sandwiches, light on oil when grilling... remember not all requests can be met due to the fact that some items are preped ahead of time, but a good restaurant will do its best to accomodate a reasonable request.
  • Suziq2you
    Suziq2you Posts: 396 Member
    Definitely not rude. I do it all the time and no one even bats an eye.
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Responsible. Although, it's important to read the menu first to make sure you are not asking questions that are already answered. I used to be a server, it's their job to know how the food is prepared and get you what you want. I actually liked it when people had special requests because it usually meant a higher tip... opportunities to exceed expectations. Good job on the food choices.

    ^^This!^^ I'm saying this as a server myself...a good server knows how the items are prepared and should never give you a hard time when asking about how something is prepared. This is not just for nutritional concerns, but also those who have dietary needs...gluten allergies and the like. Many restaurants do not have all of their nutritional information readily available in the location so it's especially important for people to check. Your co-workers were a little rude for questioning it!
  • natalie412
    natalie412 Posts: 1,039 Member
    Those are all very normal questions!! Some people are just afraid to question wait staff about anything.
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
    Not rude at all! You are paying for something, and it's reasonable to be sure you are getting what you want. Not to mention, there are many reasons for asking such questions. Some people have allergies, or other health related dietary restrictions - there is no reason why they should be taking any chances on what they are getting. We have some religious restrictions and are always asking questions related to how food is prepared, what side ingredients are used, etc. I have no intention of ordering something without know whether I can eat it when it shows up.
  • maryjay51
    maryjay51 Posts: 742
    i do that all the time too.. i dont give a crap if anyone likes it or not ..im paying for what i want and there is nothing wrong with asking how they cook something.. most people who get offended is because they ordered something crappy and i probably made them feel guilty
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Totally responsible!!! Might as well get something you want cooked the way you want it - afterall you are paying for it!
  • jatiger83
    jatiger83 Posts: 67 Member
    Responsible, screw anyone who thinks otherwise! there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to know what they are about to eat! :)
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    You can do whatever you want. You are health conscious. Another person will ask the waiter questions b/c they are picky eaters. Another person will ask because of food allergies. You did nothing wrong. Ask away!
  • memcd911
    memcd911 Posts: 230 Member
    Responsible.
    Tell your coworkers to pay attention to their own eating habits, and leave your healthy ones alone.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I was reminded of this while reading another post, and would like to know what y'all think:

    A couple years ago, I was out to lunch with coworkers and it was time to order. I asked how the chicken was cooked, to make sure it wasn't fried, and when it came time for the salad, asked the waiter what the dressings were. He listed them off, and I selected one. Then he asked about my sides, and I asked if the day's veggies were grilled. He told me, and I finished my order.

    I was feeling really good about my healthy selection when a coworker leaned over and said, "Do you ALWAYS do that every time you eat out?" I looked at her (having no clue what she was talking about) and said, "Do what? What did I do?" She and the guys at the table fidgeted, and it wasn't until later that I realized, "Oh, she must mean my asking about the food options."

    What do you think? Rude or Responsible?

    I think it's weird that they would think that's weird. I aske questions all the time, and when I was a server it was my job to know about the food so that I could answer questions as part of my job.
  • LelliAmi
    LelliAmi Posts: 327 Member
    Okay, I ALWAYS do that. I think it's worth being a pain if it keeps you healthy. Besides, it's kinda their job to give the customer what they want, is it not? If you're not at mcDonald's where everything is deep fried anyway, then you sure as hell can make choices so your food doesn't end up that way.
  • jackiejax1981
    jackiejax1981 Posts: 80 Member
    Totally NOT rude! ANd I agree with the person who was a server, as I was forever also. LOL. People are just insecure and want to maintain some sort of 'image' at the table, or are just plain passive, or just freak out when someone doesn't do exactly the same thing they do. It's important to ask questions! As long as you're not being rude or demanding and inconsiderate, ask away!!!
  • brettle1
    brettle1 Posts: 23 Member
    Not Rude at all! We are paying for the food that is being prepared, so we should know what we are getting...and get what we pay for. I do it all the time and if I get good answers and everything is how I asked....the server is rewarded with a little extra on the tip :-)
  • savage22hp
    savage22hp Posts: 278 Member
    Not rude at all , that is supposed to be the waiter's job .
    I went to a restaurant in Mexico where only Spanish was spoken and rattled of my order in great detail in my best broken Spanish .......... to the hostess ! Now that was rude.
  • Lilith8984
    Lilith8984 Posts: 69 Member
    It was absolutely responsible of you...The waiters/waitresses are there to take your food order as well to be knowledgeable about how the food is prepared/cooked...The food is going into your body, you have a right to know what the food you are about to eat was cooked in.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    I was reminded of this while reading another post, and would like to know what y'all think:

    A couple years ago, I was out to lunch with coworkers and it was time to order. I asked how the chicken was cooked, to make sure it wasn't fried, and when it came time for the salad, asked the waiter what the dressings were. He listed them off, and I selected one. Then he asked about my sides, and I asked if the day's veggies were grilled. He told me, and I finished my order.

    I was feeling really good about my healthy selection when a coworker leaned over and said, "Do you ALWAYS do that every time you eat out?" I looked at her (having no clue what she was talking about) and said, "Do what? What did I do?" She and the guys at the table fidgeted, and it wasn't until later that I realized, "Oh, she must mean my asking about the food options."

    What do you think? Rude or Responsible?

    Responsible. I do that every. Single. Time. I go out to eat. Also, I'm gluten intolerant, so I'm a special kind of pain in the *kitten* to go out to eat with :)

    As long as you're polite, the servers don't care, and the chefs don't really mind. Plus, if your server is super accommodating, you're more likely to tip well, and servers like that :)

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