Poll: Is it Rude to Question the Waiter When Out To Lunch Wi

It's not rude at all! You're not sitting there telling him HE'S preparing the food wrong and how dare they serve something not to YOUR PERSONAL STANDARD blah blah blah (Ladies and Gents, may I present my grandfather). You're just asking. No harm in being curious.

I'm one of those kind of people that I don't ask questions and NEVER EVER EVER complain, but some of the things that have been set down in front of me I sure's hell wish I did. Like that Tilapia incident at Red Lobster. It was listed as "spiced," which I assume to mean like... Garlic, Italian seasonings, maybe a little mediterranian. Not BLACKENED. If I'd asked what they meant by "spiced" and heard "Cajun" I would have never ordered the thing in the first place!

I was a waitress for years and have very strong opinions about restaurant etiquette.

As long as you had a polite tone (keyword) and asked your questions promptly (don’t say, “Well…hm…what about…hm…maybe I’ll…hm…”), then I say you are totally fine.

Also, special orders are NBD, but you MUST TIP ACCORDINGLY. Ordering “no mayo” is one thing, ordering “no mayo, sub balsamic vinegar, no lettuce, sub sprouts, extra tomato, grilled not fried, bacon on the side,” deserves an extra tip.

I think your server would rather spend a few moments answering your questions and ensuring you enjoy your meal, than having to return an item that was prepared in a way that you don't want.

It's absolutely in no way rude.

I don't think it's rude at all. My older son was gluten, dairy, soy and fructose intolerant for his first few years. I have a severe allergy to olives. If I don't ask questions, my food may have to go back. I'm not going to pick off olives and risk my throat swelling up. I wasn't going to feed my son food that would cause his severe GI stress.

I was reminded of this while reading another post, and would like to know what y'all think:

A couple years ago, I was out to lunch with coworkers and it was time to order. I asked how the chicken was cooked, to make sure it wasn't fried, and when it came time for the salad, asked the waiter what the dressings were. He listed them off, and I selected one. Then he asked about my sides, and I asked if the day's veggies were grilled. He told me, and I finished my order.

I was feeling really good about my healthy selection when a coworker leaned over and said, "Do you ALWAYS do that every time you eat out?" I looked at her (having no clue what she was talking about) and said, "Do what? What did I do?" She and the guys at the table fidgeted, and it wasn't until later that I realized, "Oh, she must mean my asking about the food options."

What do you think? Rude or Responsible?

I worked in restaurants for a long long time. Asking about how food is prepared is not rude at all and in any decent restaurant is expected. If the wait staff wasn't there to answer questions about prep, you could easily have a menu board on the table for customers to punch in their orders.

And higher class restaurants don't wait for you to ask, they tell you how food is prepared, either on the menu itself or by the waiter.

Now, if you constantly ask for food to be cooked in some special way, yeah, that can be rude. "Is the chicken on the Fried Chicken salad fried? Can I get it broiled?" That can get out of hand. But simple changes are no big deal and a decent restaurant has no issue with it. And every place I worked we encouraged the wait staff to be very knowledgable about how every item was prepared.

It depends how you asked. You say you wanted to make sure the chicken wasn't fried. Was it a
"How is the chicken in that salad prepared?" then fine.
If it was
"Is that chicken fried? Because if it is, I have to choose something else. That just isn't in my diet." that is rude.

As a former waitress, I'd rather you ask up front then either not eat it (and then we'd assume that something was wrong with it) or complain. As a customer, I order exactly what I want for two reasons. 1. I'm the one eating it. 2. I'm paying for it.

I suppose it depends on how the question was asked. If you were getting snarky and nasty I'd understand their discomfort. Otherwise? It's just silly. You sounded polite enough to me. Most places I eat I find the answers to questions like that in my menu as well.

PS-- I agree with rjt1000 -- my tips usually reflect the service and I find that the waiters try to help out with the request, and I'm happy to tip extra for this reason.

Responsible, I think in todays world the waiters and waitresses should be used to it with all the people on special diets and making healthier life choices.

I am the same way, very picky. I ordered a grilled chicken wrap with the dressing on the side so I would know how much dressing to documet for the meal. They put the dressing on the wrap, I sent it back.

VERY RESPONSIBLE!!!! You are the one putting the food into your mouth not your friends. I have horrible food allergies and stopped eating out because I feel like a drill sergeant asking 101 questions but at least my friends understood. What people don't realize is that many individuals have a different lifestyle than they do and just because they are willing to eat ANYTHING doesn't mean that you are. If it doesn't state on the menu then you have the right to ask as many questions as you need to ask. Besides, with the prices of dining out these days and the fact that you're trying to eat a healthy meal you have the more than the right. If anything, I may have replied to my friend, "If I am paying for the food, and since I've chose to life a healthy lifestyle, I deserve to ask and even more so... besides the server's are trained to receive these type of question and should know." Your friend was extremely rude for asking you that question and just because she chooses to eat whatever is put in front of her, you are not! I doubt very seriously that I would dine out with that group again.

I usually only ask about foods as I have an allergy to onions and have had to trash my food for not asking beforehand. Otherwise, I don't really ask since when Im out for lunch, I use that as my "I don't care meal" and usually order something I normally wouldn't make at home. For example, tonight we went to a restaurant for Valentines and I had a half rack of honey BBQ ribs, mashed potatoes, corn and a salad with ranch dressing and came with a nice big buttery croissant. I wouldn't usually eat that at home but I like to splurge once in a while.