Valentines day!?!?! Is it a day for amateurs!?!?!?

2»

Replies

  • dfborders
    dfborders Posts: 474 Member
    :bigsmile: :laugh: :drinker: :smile: :laugh: :happy: :tongue: :bigsmile: Thanks - totally needed this laugh!!
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    The one good thing is the post–Valentine's Day sales. The discounts on silk sheets, flowers, and erotic toys can be deep, and if you are smart about it, you can stock up for the rest of the year.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    We are coming upon a time, known as Valentine's Day, that makes Smoove very uneasy. Most people must consider this holiday synonymous with Beerrunner and his seductive ways. But if the truth be told, BR(myself) does not much care for St. Valentine's Day.
    This is, undoubtedly, a shock to my friends, who worship me as a king of seduction. I know from the messages I get that many of you use my moves and words to aid them in making their own Valentine's Day a little more special. And to them, I say, stop biting on my styles. For serious, you don't steal another man's seductive moves and pass them off as your own. This thread will allow you to observe a serious player play. That is all. Get your own skills.

    Damn!!!:devil:

    Just trying to get the freshest, most succulent strawberries to dip in melted artisan chocolate can be a total nightmare on Valentine's Day. I have spent hours in shops searching for fruit that meets my exacting standards, until I've grow so frustrated that I'm forced to come up with an alternate solution. You see, Beerrunner invented hand-feeding chocolate-covered fruit to ladies back in 2007, and he rightfully feels that he should have first dibs on these items.

    To be continued...........

    hey i tried to send you a message to let you know your midget porn and plushie coustume is on back order,but we were able to send out the inflatable Bea Arthur you should have it in a few days!
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    We are coming upon a time, known as Valentine's Day, that makes Smoove very uneasy. Most people must consider this holiday synonymous with Beerrunner and his seductive ways. But if the truth be told, BR(myself) does not much care for St. Valentine's Day.
    This is, undoubtedly, a shock to my friends, who worship me as a king of seduction. I know from the messages I get that many of you use my moves and words to aid them in making their own Valentine's Day a little more special. And to them, I say, stop biting on my styles. For serious, you don't steal another man's seductive moves and pass them off as your own. This thread will allow you to observe a serious player play. That is all. Get your own skills.

    Damn!!!:devil:

    Just trying to get the freshest, most succulent strawberries to dip in melted artisan chocolate can be a total nightmare on Valentine's Day. I have spent hours in shops searching for fruit that meets my exacting standards, until I've grow so frustrated that I'm forced to come up with an alternate solution. You see, Beerrunner invented hand-feeding chocolate-covered fruit to ladies back in 2007, and he rightfully feels that he should have first dibs on these items.

    To be continued...........

    hey i tried to send you a message to let you know your midget porn and plushie coustume is on back order,but we were able to send out the inflatable Bea Arthur you should have it in a few days!

    AWESOME!!!! I cant wait for that bad girl to get here in her big brown chariot(UPS)!!!!:bigsmile:
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Nice......BUT do oyu think you can handle the Big brown meat love hammer!?!?!?!:bigsmile:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS86lClTy3CBs-bcziqe1ri2fnrfcFe6QuGu7dwJtS8BSeA24ls

    HAHAHAHA
  • richmondcowgirl
    richmondcowgirl Posts: 137 Member
    i have heard your seductive techniques are at a master level...

    Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time taking someone serious that refers to himself in the 3rd person when NOT talking to a 2 year old.

    But as far as the strawberries are concerned.... idea stolen.

    ;)
    What about naked cowboys....you take them, seriously?

    Does ANYONE take naked cowboys seriously?


    Naked cowboys and chocolate dipped strawberries work for me
    I think not. I'm the first to admit that it is totally ridiculous ;)
  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
    We are coming upon a time, known as Valentine's Day, that makes Smoove very uneasy. Most people must consider this holiday synonymous with Beerrunner and his seductive ways. But if the truth be told, BR(myself) does not much care for St. Valentine's Day.
    This is, undoubtedly, a shock to my friends, who worship me as a king of seduction. I know from the messages I get that many of you use my moves and words to aid them in making their own Valentine's Day a little more special. And to them, I say, stop biting on my styles. For serious, you don't steal another man's seductive moves and pass them off as your own. This thread will allow you to observe a serious player play. That is all. Get your own skills.

    Damn!!!:devil:

    Just trying to get the freshest, most succulent strawberries to dip in melted artisan chocolate can be a total nightmare on Valentine's Day. I have spent hours in shops searching for fruit that meets my exacting standards, until I've grow so frustrated that I'm forced to come up with an alternate solution. You see, Beerrunner invented hand-feeding chocolate-covered fruit to ladies back in 2007, and he rightfully feels that he should have first dibs on these items.

    To be continued...........

    hey i tried to send you a message to let you know your midget porn and plushie coustume is on back order,but we were able to send out the inflatable Bea Arthur you should have it in a few days!

    Effing. Epic.
  • jennp1129
    jennp1129 Posts: 277 Member
    Nice......BUT do oyu think you can handle the Big brown meat love hammer!?!?!?!:bigsmile:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS86lClTy3CBs-bcziqe1ri2fnrfcFe6QuGu7dwJtS8BSeA24ls

    Thanks.

    I suppose in the allure of this thread... A fun response on my end should be...
    What makes you think you can handle me!?!?
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Nice......BUT do oyu think you can handle the Big brown meat love hammer!?!?!?!:bigsmile:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS86lClTy3CBs-bcziqe1ri2fnrfcFe6QuGu7dwJtS8BSeA24ls

    Thanks.

    I suppose in the allure of this thread... A fun response on my end should be...
    What makes you think you can handle me!?!?

    Oh oh is this a challenege???? Let me tell you I have been working on my most awesome lower back.....It is VERY strong!!!:devil:
  • jennp1129
    jennp1129 Posts: 277 Member
    Nice......BUT do oyu think you can handle the Big brown meat love hammer!?!?!?!:bigsmile:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS86lClTy3CBs-bcziqe1ri2fnrfcFe6QuGu7dwJtS8BSeA24ls

    Thanks.

    I suppose in the allure of this thread... A fun response on my end should be...
    What makes you think you can handle me!?!?

    Oh oh is this a challenege???? Let me tell you I have been working on my most awesome lower back.....It is VERY strong!!!:devil:

    Alright... Alright... Settle down!
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Nice......BUT do oyu think you can handle the Big brown meat love hammer!?!?!?!:bigsmile:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS86lClTy3CBs-bcziqe1ri2fnrfcFe6QuGu7dwJtS8BSeA24ls

    Thanks.

    I suppose in the allure of this thread... A fun response on my end should be...
    What makes you think you can handle me!?!?

    Oh oh is this a challenege???? Let me tell you I have been working on my most awesome lower back.....It is VERY strong!!!:devil:

    Alright... Alright... Settle down!

    Shake and bake babycakes!!!! Happy valentines day to all you lovely people of MFP!
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Yay for Valentine blow jobs!
  • craziedazie
    craziedazie Posts: 185 Member


    What about naked cowboys....you take them, seriously?

    mmmmm...naked cowboys. i'll take 2. with bbq sauce.
  • moopachoo
    moopachoo Posts: 69 Member
    This thread pleases me.

    Me gusta, as they say.
  • Mommy_x3
    Mommy_x3 Posts: 48
    HAHA! Awesome Thread! LOL!
  • Yolanda_85
    Yolanda_85 Posts: 143 Member
    I for one, refuse to celebrate this "holiday" lol

    If my hubby wants to do something sweet for me... he doesn't need overpriced flowers or chocolate or jewelery to do it. :D

    Ditto! Vday is just another day, my man is sweet to me all the time and doesn't need to spoil me with flowers that will eventually wilt, chocolate that will go straight to my *kitten*, and jewelry that I will probably never wear!
  • jaxdiablo
    jaxdiablo Posts: 580
    Even though I am completely 100% Argentinian I am completely pigment impaired. I look caucasian. It's a good thing for the women. If they knew that a certified graduate of the Latin Heat program was approaching them they would get their guard up. When I move in using the patented Love Hammer shuffle they think it is cute that a man with absolutely no pigment is moving so seductively. When given the opportunity to show them how I can move my Super Strong Lower Back, they immediatly beg for the sweet release. Only when I surprise them with the blow up Bea Arthur Doll do they know that they have been duped into someone who subscribed and graduated /w flying colors from the BeerRunner School of Lower Back, Love Hammer, and Latin Heat Skills.

    Thank you BeerRunner for showing me how to make these women scream!

    This has been a paid advertisement for the BeerRunner School of Lower Back, Love Hammer, and Latin Heat Skills. Nothing in the previous message has been proven or attested to by the FDA or any woman that is not a figment of the imagination of the individual compensated for his statement.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    This thread pleases me.

    Me gusta, as they say.

    Ohhh yo se que te gusta el Beerrunner!!!! whats shakin babycakes??:bigsmile:
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    When we reach my penthouse, I will remove your shoes and kiss you passionately for five to ten minutes. Just when you think you are going crazy with desire, I will lead you to my large, circular bathtub. There, I will strip you down and place your naked body gently into the perfectly warm water. Then, I will wash you with a towel of my choosing. Make no mistake, it will be the perfect towel for your beautiful body, fitting your every luscious contour.
    After I have dried and moisturized you, I will comb your hair. While I am doing this combing, you will think you will know love, but Beerrunner is ready to take you to the next level.

    This is when Beerrunner will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.

    Damn.
    :devil:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories