self sabotage

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leaso75581
leaso75581 Posts: 103
in Health and Weight Loss
I really think I'm a victim of self-sabotage. Don't know how to break the cycle. One week I'll do really good, and the following week-it's like I sub-consciously want to mess up, because I make ALL the wrong choices. Even when I tell myself, not to...it's like the GREEDY me takes over. So tired of the pattern, and always disappointing myself. :explode:
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  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    You have to want it more than you want the crap you eat.

    That's what it boils down to.

    Every choice you make either puts you closer to your goal or further away. Just think about that next time you reach for something that will put you over your calories or don't feel like working out.
  • jenncaroon
    jenncaroon Posts: 91
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    I understand. I've been doing well since November then bam, the last 3 days I have been totally blowing it! I keep telling myself to simmer down, but its like someone else is in control. I'll try again tomorrow, I'm still hopeful and working on the positive self-talk. I hope you can do the same.
  • ZumbaBeast86
    ZumbaBeast86 Posts: 96
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    You know, I wouldn't feel too terrible about that. I think it happens to a lot of people, but they just don't talk about it. The thing is, I don't think it's self-sabotage. I think it's just we get in this mindset of, "I lost 3 pounds last week!" and then everything seems like you might be able to get away with eating just a tiny bit. What I find with my own self-control is that when I try a little bit of something, I'll inevitably take one more bite...then another...then another, until the whole thing is gone or until I've had about 50 dips into the velveeta.

    Ultimately, what I have to keep reminding myself is this: if I want to be overweight and unhappy, I will make bad choices. When I wake up in the morning and think of everything I have set out for meals for that day/week, I think about all of the things I could "cheat" with that would only mean one bad day of calories/fats/sodium/etc... It's when I log all of my meals and hit that "I'm done for today" button that I get my biggest motivation. "If every day were like today, you would weigh XXX# in 5 weeks." I LOVE that kind of motivation. It makes me think that...YES. I can do this. I CAN be better than I am now.

    Please keep with the logging and coming onto the comm. boards for support. That's what we're all here for, and I am finding this place to be the best place to hear what I need to hear when I'm feeling tempted. Friend me if you like!

    Best of luck! And don't give up hope :)
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,179 Member
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    if you have a figure type as a goal (famous persons body you would love to have) hang pictures of that person (or pictures of the figure type you would love to have) near the food that derail your goals the most, then you will have a reminder every time you reach for that snack. if its a goal weight put post-it notes all over the house with that number on it.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I really think I'm a victim of self-sabotage. Don't know how to break the cycle. One week I'll do really good, and the following week-it's like I sub-consciously want to mess up, because I make ALL the wrong choices. Even when I tell myself, not to...it's like the GREEDY me takes over. So tired of the pattern, and always disappointing myself. :explode:
    I have been there as have many others.
    People can offer you encouragement and inspiration but true motivation is all internal.
    We either have that drive or need to find a way to ignite it.

    To light that fire, be honest, and answer for yourself:
    Why do I want to be healthy and fit? Discover the real answer, and attach great pleasure to that as you set your goals.
    Feel and experience that joy when you think of being healthy and fit.

    And then ask yourself why do you NOT want to be fat?
    Connect with that reason burning pain that you can really feel every time you think about being fat.

    This is the key to internal motivation.
    Few people can actually do this which is why most people fail in their efforts over and over.
    Take the time to do this, and you'll touch off a powder keg of determination and drive.
    Sure, you may have challenges; we all do, but you'll keep punching and reach your goals.

    All Is Possible!
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
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    When I start to self sabotage I start putting parenthesis all over an email like this

    )( not ()

    over and over and over....
  • Partyofpugs
    Partyofpugs Posts: 105
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    Recognizing this is a problem is half the battle. Congratulations on that! When you realize what is happening, do your best to get back on track. Log on the days you aren't eating correctly as well as the correct days. Look for a pattern to why this happens. I use the notes box on the food page to remember why I did something. Hopefully good days will eventually out weigh not-so-good days. You can do this one step at a time! Good luck!
  • slimmergalpal
    slimmergalpal Posts: 235 Member
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    I have only been on here for a little over a month now, but I find myself doing really well....then I do something and feel SO GUILTY about eating it. I agree with everyone else. We can do this. I love the fact that we are all accepted on here no matter what. Tomorrow is another day to do a better job than today. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you would like. I log on several times daily for support and accountability. Good Luck !!
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    Keep trying!

    One thing I did when I quit smoking and then again when I signed onto MFP is; make a plan. Like... "When I want to eat something I shouldn't have I will:

    Jog in place for 5 minutes. -or-
    Drink 16 oz of water. -or-
    Walk around the block. -or-

    You get the idea. Make a list of your own stuff, then put it up on the fridge with a magnet. Try to think of as many things as possible and make them something you would *like* to do, not things you view as punishment. Make it things that take about 5-10 minutes, enough to distract you from wanting to eat. Plan ahead, plan ahead, plan ahead. What if.... ?

    It's difficult at first. I have been on here since January 4th and now I rarely have to do anything on my list. It gets easier.

    Best of luck.. and don't dare give up!! :bigsmile:
  • mrmv
    mrmv Posts: 95
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    I am there.....
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    It's easy to identify recurring problems when you think of it like this.

    No one on this earth does things over and over if they do not get any enjoyment out of it. Period.

    If you find yourself make the same mistakes over and over, then the reason behind it is on some level you are taking enjoyment from the cycle. Even though on the whole you are loathing the cycle, it's the enjoyment periods that you're not ready to give up.

    So how do you break from this cycle of self-sabotage?

    You identify the areas you are not willing to give up. And then you learn how to give them up. For good.

    I was trapped in that cycle for years. I would have a good month of exercise, lose 5 kg's and then suddenly stop and gain it all back. This would happen over and over.

    I identified that the one thing I was unwilling to give up was the snacks and cokes while watching tv late at night EVERY night. As soon as I gave up that part of my lifestyle, I saw significant changes in how I handled the entire weight loss process.

    Maybe you have something similar?
  • barkfitness
    barkfitness Posts: 14
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    I do that too. Here is what I have found that has helped me, this time. I hate dieting. I don't even use the word. However, I find if I focus on the calories versus what I'm eating, I get more excited about it. For example, I have a lifestyle that makes it very hard to plan meals ahead or eat at home. I'm on the road ALL OF THE TIME. So, I made some simple changes. I first record EVERYTHING. I find seeing it on the screen helps me to manage my food intake. Also, I'll get the calories of something before I buy it. If it is super high or super bad, I will probably not have a taste for it anymore, or I'll only eat half of it or stop when I'm full. I used to eat it all so I wouldn't be wasteful, but now I find myself throwing a lot of food away or bringing it home to my husband. Finally, if I go over my calories or I had a day filled with junk, but stayed under my calories, I force myself to go for a walk. I can walk a mile in 20 minutes and it is a great way to clear your head. If you have a bad day, don't beat yourself up, it happens. I have tried to loose weight so many times and I have always sabotaged myself just as I start to make progress. This time has been different. In fact, for some reason, I'm obsessed with recording my information. I started looking at it as a math problem versus a diet and it became fun for me. I know, I'm a sadist. lol I confess, I like math. But that is what works for me. I'm actually finding it easier to fit in some sort of exercise everyday and that was the hardest part for me. I like seeing my progress? Does that make sense? Anyway, this is what has helped me so far, but I'm only about a month into this crazy thing. :-)
  • leaso75581
    leaso75581 Posts: 103
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    very good advice...i think there's some truth to what you're saying. i have to work on that.
  • leaso75581
    leaso75581 Posts: 103
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    you sound a lot like me, in some respects, thanks for the advice...i'm gonna use it.
  • mrsjimmo
    mrsjimmo Posts: 7
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    I am there right now. I have a
    Few good days, and then a
    Few more bad ones. I don't know why I do this to myself. But I haven't lost any weight in a year! I have been losing and re- gaining the same 5lbs for a year. I'm sick of it, but as soon as I get upset, I run
    Right to the chocolate, or cheeseburgers!
  • jiggy_gibby
    jiggy_gibby Posts: 197
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    I have been doing this three whole weeks but I LOVE this website. One of my MFP friends suggested something I started doing by the end of week 1. I log in all my food the night before I eat it- takes 10 minutes maybe? And then stick to it the next day. I remind myself this is a week by week, day by day process.

    I also like putting something in, seeing the whole day add up and then asking myself- what do I really want to eat tomorrow? I sometimes end up deleting something and making a healthier choice. Hope this helps. Don't worry about the past (what you did last year or even last week)... just worry about today and one day ahead- TOMORROW!
  • Aerohead21
    Aerohead21 Posts: 333 Member
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    I have found that by focusing on the quality of the food I am eating helps. I am really trying to eat GOOD food so I modify things that are not necessarily quality and make them good for me. It helps me stay on track when I do that instead of looking at something like I can't have it.
  • IvoryParchment
    IvoryParchment Posts: 651 Member
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    I got past finishing food to "not waste anything." Eating food I don't really want wastes calories I could use on something I like more.

    I agree with logging before eating -- if you can't bring yourself to eat it if you know the calories, it's not worth it. And measure precisely. The amount you have to cut down is actually very little. If you don't measure, you won't cut down the correct amount. That means you can lose weight without feeling like you're starving, because you aren't capable of noticing the difference without a food scale.

    Every day is a new day. You aren't "off your diet" if you overeat once, but you don't get to reward yourself if you were under your calories the day before.

    This isn't a diet. This is just the way you eat now. If every day you try to stay within goal, even if you go over sometimes, you'll keep drifting back down to goal.
  • KitchenBabe
    KitchenBabe Posts: 11
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    What a great thread....

    I think of it as I would in spending money. I check the fat/calories/carbs of a food and figure how much it would 'cost' from my daily totals. Most of the time it's gonna be, "Are you KIDDING ME? THAT'S not worth it." And then I don't eat it.

    Sometimes, though, it'll be something I really want, and then I cut everywhere else, accordingly, to keep it within the lines as best I can, knowing that there will be days now and then when I AM going to exceed what I should be taking in.

    On the other hand, I also like creating a new recipe or meal combination that 'costs' very little. Makes me feel like I got a great bargain and I'm a great shopper! ;)
  • Redbird99ky
    Redbird99ky Posts: 305 Member
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    I don't know what your spiritual background is, but if you have one, have you thought about asking God for help in your effort to get healthy? Ask Him to help you be strong against temptation.

    I know the cycle of self-sabotage all too well, and one thing I found was that it was manifest in all areas of my life, from work to my relationships with people. I would constantly set myself up for failure or to be hurt, and be the first to blame others or "circumstances" when I did fail.

    When God entered my life, all of that changed. He has helped me in ALL areas and aspects of my life, and I am so grateful for His grace and mercy.

    This may not be the answer you want to hear, but it's what helped me to turn my ENTIRE life around. Feel free to PM me if you would like to know more

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