Do you have unsupportive people in your life?

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trimom10
trimom10 Posts: 388 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's mainly the people closest to me - my family (NOT MFP friends who have been THE best!) that don't seem to have anything supportive to say about my weight loss. I've been at it for one month now, and am making consistent progression. It's not that they are saying hurtful things, it's more that they don't acknowledge my hard work or progress.

In fact with my weigh-in day yesterday I realized I'm half way to my goal weight! When I told them about it, reactions ranged from "you're getting skinnier and I'm getting fatter" to "we'll have to put ankle weights on you so you don't blow away" to basically no comment or acknowledgement of my news. The weight/food isn't something I talk about on a daily basis, just an update once a week. I'm not one to complain that I'm starving, hungry, wish I could have "X" food, etc. So I'm just really surprised at how unsupportive they've been. :frown: How have you dealt with this?
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Replies

  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    My success is not determined by someone else's support or joy for me. I don't expect anyone to say anything, and I make no announcements. If someone asks, I'll tell them. Keeps me from getting my feelings hurt over something that they may not even realize is hurting my feelings.
  • BobbyDaniel
    BobbyDaniel Posts: 1,460 Member
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    The bulk of mine came from the church I serve, and I just kept going and tried not to let them bother me and I've managed to see a few others get on board with getting healthy too. The only other negativity came from my mother, which wasn't surprising to me, but she got over it when she saw I'm happy and healthy for the first time in my life.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    other than my husband-no. I kicked them all to the curb, my husband on the other hand is a bit tougher to get rid of! Lol

    He's not "unsupportive" but he's not supportive either. He really could care less. Thankful I have some amazing friends here on MFP that I can share my journey with.
  • 76wendyful
    76wendyful Posts: 202
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    I just try to remember that I am doing it for myself so I shouldn't look to certain people for encouragement. It is sad, but not everyone shares out weight loss mentality. For me, it is a person at work that I would love to have share my journey, but she is just not that type of person.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Sounds like you need to master the art of putting your fingers in your ears and yelling LALALALALALA!

    Don't let them get to you. Once you get to your goal weight, these same people will make you feel bad about your accomplishment, but just give it time. They'll get used to the new you.

    Congratulations on being halfway to goal! AWESOME!
  • LilysMom28
    LilysMom28 Posts: 293 Member
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    i get this to from time to time. Maybe they just don't know how to respond to the awesome things we are doing for ourselves. I just try to not let it bug me. I know I am looking and feeling better about my self and thats what matters most.

    You are doing awesome!! Keep up the great work and don't let anyones comments hinder your results!!! :) Good luck with the rest of your journey!!
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 605
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    No and I consider myself extremely lucky to have my circle of family and friends. We support each other through everything. I read so many stories on here about folks that don't have any support and it just makes me sad. I couldn't imagine what that must be like but I do thank my lucky stars every day to be loved.
  • joeylu
    joeylu Posts: 208 Member
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    I really do think that comments like that come from a bit of envy. You are doing great!!!!!!
  • plumnbagel
    plumnbagel Posts: 184 Member
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    I've had some of the same experiences you have, I think. What really resonated with me was the idea that I'm making people feel bad about themselves because I'm doing this and they wish they were (or feel like they should be). In fact, my wife has said on a couple occasions that she wants me to stop so she won't look bad when we're together. She says it in a joking manner, but I think there's a bit of truth behind it.
    I don't hold any of those feelings against my friends, but it is hard to feel like a living, breathing guilt-creator when I'm around some folks. I'm with you in wondering how other people have approached this.
  • tonihayden
    tonihayden Posts: 67
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    I know how you feel, I am surrounded by unsupportive family. I do however have very supportive friends here at work and I have just stopped looking to my family for anything. Sad but true. I made MFP friends with a guy named Bill on here and he is motivational and inspires me daily! Good luck to you, feel free to add me.
  • junyr
    junyr Posts: 416 Member
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    Well, I'm not doing this for anyone else so I don't really care whether they're supportive or not.

    That's just me though.
  • kbogati
    kbogati Posts: 39 Member
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    yes. my sister actually was nasty with me about it. said i was making her look bad now shes the "fat sister"
  • Jeaniehop
    Jeaniehop Posts: 88 Member
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    Well at least they aren't shoving chocolate in your face like my coworkers and saying " Oh yeah forgot YOU'RE dieting" but just keep your head up nine times out of ten most are jealous that they don't have what it takes to do what your doing. Nice job and keep up the good work!
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
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    My success is not determined by someone else's support or joy for me. I don't expect anyone to say anything, and I make no announcements. If someone asks, I'll tell them. Keeps me from getting my feelings hurt over something that they may not even realize is hurting my feelings.

    ^^THIS

    I want them to notice and say something themselves. I do not want to announce it. I am just waiting to see when my family/freinds notice enough to tell me. If they dont.. I am not going to be upset because I am not losing weight for them, I am getting healthy for myself and my children who are my biggest supporters. I dont need the attention from anyone else. I know I am doing great and I have all of my MFP freinds for support and encouraging words. That is all I need.
  • LilysMom28
    LilysMom28 Posts: 293 Member
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    I've had some of the same experiences you have, I think. What really resonated with me was the idea that I'm making people feel bad about themselves because I'm doing this and they wish they were (or feel like they should be). In fact, my wife has said on a couple occasions that she wants me to stop so she won't look bad when we're together. She says it in a joking manner, but I think there's a bit of truth behind it.
    I don't hold any of those feelings against my friends, but it is hard to feel like a living, breathing guilt-creator when I'm around some folks. I'm with you in wondering how other people have approached this.

    my husband has said the same things to me too. Sometimes I get bummed out by it because I know i want to look good for HIM (and of course myself)...but then when he says things like that, or how i'll go find someone else because i'm "skinny" drive me crazy!
  • abnerner
    abnerner Posts: 452 Member
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    My dad can be the hardest on me (and I'm 25!), but I just try to remember I am doing this for me, not anyone else. :happy:
  • vzucco
    vzucco Posts: 229
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    Sometimes people get insecure when you talk about weight loss because it only reminds them that they're NOT exercising, eating healthy, or drinking enough water. The people around me are always full of excuses about why they don't have the time or the money or the motivation, "my job is really crazy right now,' "I'll focus on that when I graduate," "I have kids," etc. You're done making excuses, that's going to make people jealous. So just don't say anything at all, and when they say "wow, you're looking great these days" just answer "thank you." Who knows, they might ask you for your secret!
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    No and I consider myself extremely lucky to have my circle of family and friends. We support each other through everything. I read so many stories on here about folks that don't have any support and it just makes me sad. I couldn't imagine what that must be like but I do thank my lucky stars every day to be loved.

    you and me both!!
  • hauer01
    hauer01 Posts: 523 Member
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    I am lucky, most of my friends have been very supportive. I don't really talk much about it yet, because I am just beginning my journey and people can't see a difference yet.

    I think that if they aren't going through the work, they really don't realize how much work it is. I am sorry that you have people in your life who don't support you the way you want them to. :cry:




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  • trimom10
    trimom10 Posts: 388 Member
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    Sounds like you need to master the art of putting your fingers in your ears and yelling LALALALALALA!

    Don't let them get to you. Once you get to your goal weight, these same people will make you feel bad about your accomplishment, but just give it time. They'll get used to the new you.

    Congratulations on being halfway to goal! AWESOME!
    Congrats to you on your halfway point too!

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