Bah! New baby coming; what do I do??

In 6 weeks, I'll be a new daddy, and I haven't a clue what I'm doing. I've got the essentials I suppose, crib, clothes, bottles, diapers, etc, so the baby will pretty much take care of itself, right? haha - Change it, feed it, let is sleep. Not much else to worry about?

I get to play stay-at-home-dad, so I'm sure I'll have a journey in store. This will be quite the change from daily gym trips and playing PC games though. Anything I really need to know? Am I in for any surprises? I need to know!!

My childcare potential is presumably sub-par from what's required. Uh oh.

-JHoersten2
http://noob-dad.com

It's not as scary or difficult as it seems. Yes, there is a lot to learn. But the great thing is you get to learn it slowly. In the beginning your baby will spend most of the time sleeping. (My newest baby is 6 weeks old and I'm amazed that she's been lying here awake interacting with me for about an hour without needing to eat or needing a diaper.) In the beginning you pretty much just feed them, change them, keep them warm and cuddled.

Some random advice:
Make sure your baby is dressed one layer warmer than you are. If he or she will be swaddled that counts as a layer. If you are wearing long sleeves, your baby should too. (I can't tell you how many short sleeved onesies I was given for this baby when she was due 12/26!)

Use natural products for your baby. I just discovered the Honest Company (honest.com) and they are wonderful! They have natural diapers, wipes, cleaning and bath products. They are delivered to your door every month and they all work wonderfully! And, they're cheaper than the stuff I was buying at Babies R Us. Definitely check them out, especially the "Learn" section.

I really like the Avent bottles. With three bottle babies I've tried lots and lots of bottles. I LOVE the Avent bottles! They don't leak like other bottles, they reduce the amount of air a baby can drink in and there aren't a million little pieces to wash like the Dr. Brown's bottles. If your wife is going to pumping, Avent makes a great breast pump.

My baby absolutely loves her Carter's Cuddle Me Musical Bouncer. It's got a cute giraffe pattern, which I like. Jungle stuff is always cute. But. My daughter instantly falls asleep in this bouncer every time she's in it. After my arms, it's her favorite place to be.

Get a mobile that has high contrast colors. I have one that is kind of ugly, but my babies have all been super interested in it very early on. Newborns see in black and white so high contrast is very important. Tiny Love makes great mobiles.

A Boppy pillow is a must. My daughter doesn't like her swing and her bouncer stays in the bathroom because that's where she goes when I pump (she can't nurse). So when she's out in the living room I put her in her Boppy pillow on the couch. She stays comfy and I don't have to worry about her rolling off the couch. My older kids love theirs (yes, we have one for each of them) and sit or lie on them while watching movies.

Get an assortment of pacifiers. There's no telling which style your baby will like so have different ones on hand to try. My kids have all gone through phases where they like one style for a while and then their preference changes.

Get as much sleep as you can! Take naps with your baby during the day. This is great for bonding and it keeps you refreshed. (I wish I could do this but three kids almost never sleep at the same time.)

Most of all, love your baby and trust your instincts. Don't be afraid, you'll have plenty of time to learn everything as you go. Give your baby lots of cuddle time. Once you have your baby just trust that as his or her primary caregiver you'll know what he or she needs.

Lucky! I would love to let my husband be stay at home dad while I work. Haha he would be a better nurturer then me I think.

I think you'll do fine especially since you can stay home. Read a lot!

Drink water, Eat your Veggies and move your body. Lead by example.

Oh and don't shake the baby!

I also forgot, don't get into any breast feeding debates!

You will do fine!

My OH is the bestest Dad in the whole world & he's NEVER been around kids being the youngest sibling etc. I can't believe how much of a natural he is. Sometimes it just flows.

Happy times :flowerforyou:

Get a jogging stroller and find a nice trail to hike. I had my nephew for the first year of his life and thats what we did pretty much every day. It was wonderful. Just have fun with it and don't be a stress case. If you are calm and happy then baby is calm and happy.... for the most part.

I myself have been a stay at home mom for 18 months now. You have lots of great advice here. Just remember there is no right or wrong way to do it, there is only your way. Remember to communicate with your spouse, they are your biggest support system.

Try to find a playgroup in your area, I know our playgroup would welcome the addition of a SAHD. It really helps to get out and socialize with other parents who are in the same boat as you are. It also allows the kids to learn socialization skills they may not get otherwise. This has been my sanity saver!

It is not an easy "job", but it is the most rewarding thing you will ever do! When you are at your worst and that little baby gives you that big gummy grin, it just melts your heart, and makes it all worth while!

Try to find a playgroup in your area, I know our playgroup would welcome the addition of a SAHD. It really helps to get out and socialize with other parents who are in the same boat as you are. It also allows the kids to learn socialization skills they may not get otherwise. This has been my sanity saver!

Really? I'd think it would feel a bit weird to be a dad surrounded by moms in a playgroup. While they're all talking about breastfeeding and whatnot, I'd be nervously twiddling my thumbs looking for an escape.

We don't really talk about breastfeeding all the time. We actually talk about other stuff too. We usually bring goodies to eat and joke around most of the time. But I guess I just got lucky. But we would be very open to a father joining our group. If you were really intimidated by being around women, maybe you could find a SAHD group nearby. Try looking on meetup.com type in "stay at home dad". There were several groups in my area that came up.

I was apprehensive about becoming a father but I love it so much now. As soon as my daughter was born I was just so ready to do everything I could. It amazes me how some fathers don't get into it - it's awesome! It's hard work at times, yes, it's draining at times, yes, it's <fill in the blank>, yes... but it is the most rewarding thing.

Trust your instincts first. You will be inundated with advice from parents who assume that what worked for them will work for you (not always the case), parents who forget what it was like since they became parents over 20 years ago and even the nurses in the hospital. Just take it all in, pick and choose what works for you and roll with it. Don't be afraid to ask for help or advice but in most cases, you and your wife will know what is best for you kid.

Have fun man, it's the most cliche'd thing in the world to say, but it's true - it's going to change your life for the better and you will find a whole new meaning for what you think love is.

I agree about the sleep when the baby sleeps thing - or at least make the most of it because when baby #2 comes along that won't happen!!
A thing that I often tell myself is to remember that as far as your baby knows you are the most awesome parent in the world! They have nothing to compare to you and they won't work out that you were making it up as you went along until they turn 14 and decide you are the worst parent in the world (I'm guessing here, based on myself as I grew up - my older daughter is 3). Basically, feed, make sure they are warm/cool enough, wash them if they get really dirty (but little babies don't really unless we're talking a poo explosion) and love them unconditionally. Also if you are overwhelmed, put the baby somewhere safe (like in its cot) and have a bit of time out. A baby won't get hurt by crying for a little while and sometimes 5 minutes of crying is better than an overwhelmed and frustrated parent who hasn't slept in days.
You could spend the last bit of time before the baby comes cooking up some dinners to freeze for those first few weeks when no one can be bothered cooking something healthy.
All the best!!

when you have first one you are scared of the littlest scratches by the time you get to the third you say "here some sicors go run into a busy street" I kid I kid!

Try to find a playgroup in your area, I know our playgroup would welcome the addition of a SAHD. It really helps to get out and socialize with other parents who are in the same boat as you are. It also allows the kids to learn socialization skills they may not get otherwise. This has been my sanity saver!

Really? I'd think it would feel a bit weird to be a dad surrounded by moms in a playgroup. While they're all talking about breastfeeding and whatnot, I'd be nervously twiddling my thumbs looking for an escape.

They have dad ones usually once a week, mostly on Saturdays...or at least they did when i used to go to them....look it up online

Just have fun with it and don't be a stress case. If you are calm and happy then baby is calm and happy.... for the most part.

^^^^ this.

Sleep. Eat healthy. Find things to do together. Walk a lot. Talk to grownups. Enjoy every little minute. And I found that babies actually really enjoy watching video games. LOL


Personal advice:

- Throw away all the "What to Expect" books.
- Throw away all the "BabyWise" books.
- Go buy a copy of "The Wonder Weeks" right now - it is a mind-saver.
- Start practicing the polite nod and thoughtful expression now. You'll need it when talking to moms, grandmothers, doctors, nurses and other concerned strangers who see a Dad out unattended with a baby.

- Take a ton of pictures and videos, and remember to fill out the baby book.
- Text your wife with a picture when the baby does something awesome.

- If your wife is breastfeeding/pumping, do everything you can to make that easier for her and encourage her.
- Also re breastfeeding - breastmilk is more than just food. It is food, drink, and comfort all in one sweet package. Don't think it's weird if your wife needs to nurse the baby sometimes three times in an hour - it's okay.

- Feed on demand and nod politely when people tell you that baby "needs" to be on a 4-hour feeding schedule. Start from day one to teach the child to respect his/her own body and its cues.

- Do not expect sleeping patterns to remain the same for more than a week at a time. The baby's or yours.

- Growth spurts happen on the threes - 3,6,9 weeks and 3,6,9 months. Roughly. If your baby is eating all the time, crying non-stop and not sleeping all of a sudden, and you're near one of those markers, just roll with it. You might just need to spend the day sitting on the couch with the baby. (Playing video games?)

- Take a shower every day. It's hard sometimes, but do it. The baby will be just fine in a baby seat, bucket seat, or bouncer for ten minutes on the bathroom floor waiting for you.

- Go for lots of walks.
- Get a baby carrier. Best are slings & wraps, and you can get them in different sizes. Second best are the kind that their legs hang out of, still good but they are not the best for the baby's pelvis. Carriers also help keep strangers' hands off your baby.

- Speaking of which, don't be afraid to tell people to back off. Complete strangers will want to come up and play with your baby's hands... which will find their way into his/her mouth shortly afterward. It's gross, and you don't have to put up with it.

- Learn the proper way to install your car seat AND how to put the baby in it. You should not be able to move the car seat base more than an inch in any direction when it's properly tightened. (Trick - kneel on it when you're tightening the buckle.) Poofy snowsuits are a no-no, so are "bundle-me bags" and anything else that goes underneath the baby in the seat. They can compress in a collision and leave the car seat straps loose enough for the baby to be ejected. Use layers and blankets - you don't want more than a finger-thickness of space between the straps and your baby's body. And keep him/her rear-facing as long as you can, ideally up to two years.


- This sounds harsh, but it's just hard to find a nice way to put it without losing the message. The baby is entering your world, you're not entering his/her world... don't let your entire life suddenly be dictated by the whims of the small one. Obviously you need to accommodate the baby, meet needs, provide love and care, etc. But what I'm saying is, don't get drawn into the trap of having 100% of your existence, function, and conversation revolving around nothing but your baby and his/her existence and bodily functions. Keep being yourself. Keep doing the things you enjoy. Find a way to make your life work, because if you are a happy and contented parent, most of the time your baby will be happy as well.


- And with some trepidation I will tell you to just trust your gut. You're not a mom, so you probably don't come with the same baby-radar-spidey-sense that we seem to innately possess. But you will still be the one who knows your child the best. You make the decisions, and you deal with the fallout. Everyone will have a ton of advice for you, as you can see... LOL But at the end of the day, it's your child, your family and ultimately everything rests on your shoulders. :flowerforyou: