How do you deal with people who think they know everything?

slc150
slc150 Posts: 41 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
Okay so most people who are overweight know what we need to do to lose weight. There are many methods and ideas about it, and all of them can work. Most of us on MFP have found something that works.

But why I ask...do friends, family, and co-workers think that when I've found something that is working for me, it is their job to tell me what I'm doing wrong, or what else I COULD be doing.

IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!

So my question is...how do you deal? I know I should just ignore it, I don't want to be a biotch about it...

So what do I do?
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Replies

  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
    slap them :laugh:

    oh wait thats what I do, but all kidding aside this is exactly why I don't tell people I am trying to lose weight. it is none of their business anyway. I am just making healthier choices and if they insist on giving me advice I politely say thank you and then mentally slap them :tongue:
  • mg720
    mg720 Posts: 212 Member
    My fiance and I started this weight loss journey together approx 1 year ago, from time to time he still will try and tell me how to work out or what kind of exercises I should be doing, or which foods i should allow myself to splurge on.

    I just simply say "everyone has to find their own routine that works for them and I am extremely confidant 71 pounds later that I have found mine, so while I appreciate the help, I got this" lol i know he is just doing it in a way to suggest things to me and to be helpful but regardless I know it get frustrating when people think that they have the right to tell you what to do differently.

    Of course on the other hand if someone suggests something to me that I feel might actually be helpful (which some people on mfp have done) I usually just say "thats interesting maybe i will try that" and then i decide on my own if i want to or not.
  • Duckz1
    Duckz1 Posts: 145 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
    I like the "maybe I'll try that" response. It puts them off politely, showing that you'll consider their advice, but doesn't make you defensive because you'll know if you'll actually consider it or not. There are certain approaches that I write off for me, tried 'em don't work for me. But in a social situation its easier to say "maybe I'll try that" and move on.
  • qkidney
    qkidney Posts: 258
    I made the mistake of telling some coworkers that I was trying to lose weight... BIG mistake. I get my lunch picked apart every day.
    "You're really gonna eat all of that?!"
    "Well, yes... You dont have to starve yourself to lose weight!"

    Ugh! Uphill battle!
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
    I made the mistake of telling some coworkers that I was trying to lose weight... BIG mistake. I get my lunch picked apart every day.
    "You're really gonna eat all of that?!"
    "Well, yes... You dont have to starve yourself to lose weight!"

    Ugh! Uphill battle!

    heh, "well, what are YOU having?" said to the dear co-worker. "Are YOU going to eat all that?" :laugh: :huh:
  • AZDizzy
    AZDizzy Posts: 434 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:


    Ha ha ha! AWESOME!
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I've tried multiple things: proving them wrong with "well my trainer said... <insert whatever>", by trying to just keep it together and listen politely, etc.

    But what I've found works the most is just to not bring it up at all with people. Or if they do bring it up, give a not comittal "oh really" or an "mmhmm" and change the subject. Don't give them the power to elicit a response from you. Just nod and smile and then do whatever you want. You're going to anyway.
  • Deeclutter
    Deeclutter Posts: 7
    Keep going with what works as long as its healthy. Others might have gone down that path and were successful or not. Because they care about you they want to say something. Its amazing how our mouth and brain aren't always working together. Its kind of one of those topics were you get all sorts of replies.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    I usually like talking about these things till it's obvious they don't know what they are talking about and they don't want to hear my view, so they are just preaching.
    I say oh that's nice... and give them a blank stare to show them they have over stepped their boundary. Then I forget that it ever happened.
    When it happens again I react the same way, I am not going to tell them what it is or isn't if don't want to hear it nor am I going to listen to them.
    Sometimes I will even change the subject and not be subtle about it. Say anyhow..... talk about the ocean or the weather.
    With consistency they will either ask you what your problem is and you can feel free to elaborate or not. Or they will stop talking about it with you. :flowerforyou:
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    I agree with Hope.
    I mostly don't tell the know-it-alls anything about anything. If they ask me if I am losing weight, I say something like, I might be.
    I'm a master of thinking of something else I have to do or somewhere else I have to be.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    I smile and nod and say "Oh I'll give that a try!" and then go back to doing what I know works for me. It makes them feel special to think they're right :)
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:

    Bahahahah I'm from the south, that's southern for "You are so, so stupid. I hope you marry somebody with money."
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Say, "thank you" and ignore them.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I usually just say "Hmm, that is interesting food for thought. Thanks." and go on with what I'm doing.
  • dusty8907
    dusty8907 Posts: 350 Member
    I usually bench/squat/deadlift them into submission that i'm right and they are wrong :)

    In all honesty though, you will get this no matter how you look. Everyone is right in their own mind so just tell them what you are doing is working for you and everyones body handles diet/excercise differently.
  • Inlet
    Inlet Posts: 135
    Hold my breath until I pass out.




    Just kidding.
    I get very quiet and then say something like. That's very interesting... If I don't get coffee soon I think I might die... how about you?

    Sometimes I just heave a big, deep sigh from the depths of my soul and say "I'm such a freak, I know." And smile. It's hard to argue with serene self confidence.
  • slc150
    slc150 Posts: 41 Member
    I made the mistake of telling some coworkers that I was trying to lose weight... BIG mistake. I get my lunch picked apart every day.
    "You're really gonna eat all of that?!"
    "Well, yes... You dont have to starve yourself to lose weight!"

    Ugh! Uphill battle!

    I get that too! It's so annoying! I'm like, yes, and while you are eating your 1 sandwhich, this salad with chicken and black beans and salsa is going to keep me fuller way longer and keep my cravings at bay! But they don't get that. Thanks for the reply. =-)
  • slc150
    slc150 Posts: 41 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:

    Bahahahah I'm from the south, that's southern for "You are so, so stupid. I hope you marry somebody with money."

    hahaha, nice!
  • Duckz1
    Duckz1 Posts: 145 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:

    Bahahahah I'm from the south, that's southern for "You are so, so stupid. I hope you marry somebody with money."

    It's also southern for "f*** you!" Ahhh, I love the south :tongue:
  • MotorCityFemmeFatale
    MotorCityFemmeFatale Posts: 222 Member
    If what you are doing is working I would just listen and not mention it again. If they are really fit, listen with an open mind and decide if what they say may be valid. Overall, just lead by example.
  • DL121004
    DL121004 Posts: 214 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:

    Okay, I literally laughed out loud. Thanks for that!
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
    "Thank you for sharing. Next!"
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    I haven't really had that happen. The thing that really gets to me is when people talk to me about losing weight and then they ask for advice then they argue about how it won't work for them. May be true, it really might not work them, but if you have seen it work for me, why not try? Ugh!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    I seriously just nod and smile, then go off and do my own thing... I do this with my health, I do this with a lot of other aspects of my life... I figure they are either a) just trying to help or b) trying to vocalize what they need to do for themselves. I know this is why I give unsolicited advise...
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:

    And move on. Exactly.
    I have heard *so* many hairbrained ideas from coworkers and family....Lord. I just smile and move on.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Smile and nod. "Wow, that's really interesting, I'll have to look into it"

    Then never do.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    "Well bless your heart!" :bigsmile:

    :laugh:
  • andrejjorje
    andrejjorje Posts: 497 Member
    ""Really? Hmmmm" Smile and change the subject or go on with your stuff.
  • bethanylaugh
    bethanylaugh Posts: 237
    I'm sure a lot of it is them being happy for you and trying to help out... so I would ignore most of it and take it as a compliment that they are noticing changes in you! If they are really family and friends that love you, I'm sure it's not their intention to drive you crazy!

    Part of it might also be their way to hear from you what you're doing... maybe a little jealousy :tongue:

    *I agree with everyone... keep doing what you're doing!!!!
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