Negativity

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nannigans
nannigans Posts: 26 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was just recently reading a post about LCDs and I have never seen such rude or inconsiderate comments. One person referred to the person starting the post as an "idiot" and "we don't want your negativity here"....well what is that ?? It is negativity. We are all here trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Each of us choose our own way how to get there and how to maintain it. There is no need in being brutal or down right rude with comments, when people are looking for support, help and guidance.

I am 34 years old...I was always a "big girl" . I am 5'7, I always from about my sophomore year of high school weighed around 250lbs, give or take 20lbs here and there...I was always a size 20. In 2009 I decided it was time for a change. A friend of mind found a program at the Medical University of South Carolina's Weight Management Center, called Healthfast. It was the best program and most effective weight loss I had ever had. I lost 85lbs and was in a size 10 within nine months. I became a new person. It was based on a very low carlorie diet. I was medically monitored. I went once a week met with a doctor who took blood each week, I met with a clinical psychologist and we had a group session with others going through the same weighloss journey, I also met each week with a dietician, and a personal trainer. This was a Godsend to me. I learned how to eat healthy, read labels, my food triggers, how to break unhealthy habits I had learned as a child.

The thing is this worked for me. It may not be for everyone, but this was the first time in my life I had successful weight loss. We are all looking how to find the perfect way to be healthy and live a healthy lifestyle, we just may all have different ways of getting there. There is no need in name calling or belittling...this is our support group here, we should be motivating, supporting, and sharing ways to live healthier lifestyles, not demean someone because we do not agree with how they are choosing to lose weight. I am not by any means trying to promote a LCD or say it's for everyone, I am just saying regardless of how we are doing it, lets me the support group we are suppose to be and not rude and condesending.

Thats ALL!!

Replies

  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Different things work for different people and that should be respected. And being nice does sometimes seem to be a rarity around here....
  • nannigans
    nannigans Posts: 26 Member
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    It is rare, and its discouraging to me because I look forward to the postive stories, positive support and positive comments.:smile:
  • Angelap1121
    Angelap1121 Posts: 18
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    I was just talking about that to my walking friend who got me started on MFP. I felt reading some of the forums there was a lot of hating and feeling like "I know best and you know nothing". Like I was looking into juicing and this one girl started a feed and so many people were rude about it. I have started looking more at the success stories now, but I appreciate you posting this because it is true. Many of us have already felt down about ourselves and are trying to change, we don't need our comrades being rude as well. I'm not saying I have a thin skin, but I just stop reading those forums. It's just a shame for people who are seeking real advice and guidance.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Also keep in mind that with the written word things can be translated by you differently than the writer intended them to be. I do what I can to make sure what I write is conveyed in the manner I intend it to be - positive or negative. Some people don't seem to care that they come across as jerks, but I prefer not to....unless I really am being a jerk, that is :smile:
  • nannigans
    nannigans Posts: 26 Member
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    Oh it's not soo much me I just felt bad for the person who had posted wanting to guidance and information and there were some just plain rude and inconsiderate posts, when this person was just looking for help.
  • nannigans
    nannigans Posts: 26 Member
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    Also keep in mind that with the written word things can be translated by you differently than the writer intended them to be. I do what I can to make sure what I write is conveyed in the manner I intend it to be - positive or negative. Some people don't seem to care that they come across as jerks, but I prefer not to....unless I really am being a jerk, that is :smile:

    :happy:
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
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    Yeah, the negativity sucks. But there's going to be trolls where ever we go. They can make me so mad! Mean statements, brutal and obnoxious. The goal is to guide everyone to a healthy lifestyle, not to be so obnoxious they quite! Good grief!

    It's something people just need to be aware of when they are writing replies. Don't immediately chastise someone for curiosity, they really may not know better. There is a lot of misinformation out there, but most people have pretty sound advice based on what worked for them.

    I wish we all could be a little nicer here, but it's just not going to happen.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Honestly, not everyone was raised to say things with a sprinkle of respect or to stay entirely out of a conversation if they have nothing positive or helpful to add.

    I have seen, and I have had, some posts that were written with respect but were read into or read in a way that felt condescending to the reader. That is the issue with forums is that *tone* doesn't always come across.

    Basically, I have taken the stance that opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one. And there is some good information in there to be had, you just have to weed out the snark. And growing a tougher skin or choosing to put the person on Ignore will help.

    That's just my opinion, though.

    ETA: :flowerforyou:
  • crissy170
    crissy170 Posts: 31 Member
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    I am so new here and i just try to skim thru these message boards and take out what i find is usefull and leave the rest behind .. i am sure many have been here a long time and know all the answers , i certainly do not .. years ago i had lost 60 lbs in 6mths How? working a hard job and 20 min exercize almost daily and eatign well ( healthy foods) but 2 variables i dont have now .. i was in my late 30's then and i smoked .. those 2 things have changed!! sooo i try to stick with what works for me .. but i take anyones advice with a grain of salt ,, i am here for me ,,, therefore i take the positives i can learn, join in the fun and leave the negative behind .
  • nannigans
    nannigans Posts: 26 Member
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    I am very open to others opinions, that's why I like being on here and it's nice to learn things from others. The main thing I had an issue with was the people just down right being rude and name calling like they are five years old...Calling someone and idiot is really not necessary, maybe that person really doesn't know, so they are looking for guidance and help when they post or adk something.
  • beccala18
    beccala18 Posts: 293 Member
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    I believe I read the same post as you. Some of the people commenting on the topic were extremely rude, others were just saying they didn't believe it was healthy the way the OP was stating how they were on a LCD. Many of the comments on there were expressing concern that doing a LCD without medical back-up (the way you did it) could cause more problems than it could solve.

    While I agree that people shouldn't be rude or mean on the forums, it was only one or two in the topic that were that mean sounding (to me at least).
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    Oh it's not soo much me I just felt bad for the person who had posted wanting to guidance and information and there were some just plain rude and inconsiderate posts, when this person was just looking for help.

    You will find the same thing on every forum on the Internet. Not saying it is right, but when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to negativity. It isn't going to change.
    The OP in that post knew they would get negativity. That is why they used another account. And to be completely honest, based on the fact they posted the same topic last night, received a lot of support as they were looking for and a lot of negativity as well, then posted the same thing again today, I suspect the negative reaction was exactly what they were looking for.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    I have read some threads and seen the OP get virtually annihilated and it really annoys me, I feel desperately bad for them. A few times, believe it or not, I have gotton really upset at some of the things said to other people. If they are said to me, I get annoyed rather than upset. I wouldn't mind, but I don't even know the OPs that are attacked, no idea why I get upset, but I do!

    There appears to be a band of people on MFP that like to go around and bash any thread for the sake of it, it is irritating and completely and utterly unnecessary.

    Being straight-talking, honest and giving opinions is one thing, but there really is no need for people to be downright mean, rude, obnoxious and basically spiteful or cruel.
  • RayRay1500
    RayRay1500 Posts: 158 Member
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    I have read some threads and seen the OP get virtually annihilated and it really annoys me, I feel desperately bad for them. A few times, believe it or not, I have gotton really upset at some of the things said to other people. If they are said to me, I get annoyed rather than upset. I wouldn't mind, but I don't even know the OPs that are attacked, no idea why I get upset, but I do!

    There appears to be a band of people on MFP that like to go around and bash any thread for the sake of it, it is irritating and completely and utterly unnecessary.

    Being straight-talking, honest and giving opinions is one thing, but there really is no need for people to be downright mean, rude, obnoxious and basically spiteful or cruel.

    I feel the same. It seems that the same people get downright rude on whichever topic they are responding to. Being hateful is not necessary.:flowerforyou:
  • minadeathclutch
    minadeathclutch Posts: 375 Member
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    eh it's reality. everytime you get a bunch of people together in one place.. even online lol.. conflicts arise.
  • MindyG150
    MindyG150 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    I have read some threads and seen the OP get virtually annihilated and it really annoys me, I feel desperately bad for them. A few times, believe it or not, I have gotton really upset at some of the things said to other people. If they are said to me, I get annoyed rather than upset. I wouldn't mind, but I don't even know the OPs that are attacked, no idea why I get upset, but I do!

    There appears to be a band of people on MFP that like to go around and bash any thread for the sake of it, it is irritating and completely and utterly unnecessary.

    Being straight-talking, honest and giving opinions is one thing, but there really is no need for people to be downright mean, rude, obnoxious and basically spiteful or cruel.

    Well said!
    What people will type on a board or e.mail to a person is far different than what one would say to someone’s face. Triple that if they don't know each other. Sad but true. I am blessed to have a mother that has zero tolerance for nay-sayers, and stressed kindness, gotta love an awesome Mom!
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    eh it's reality. everytime you get a bunch of people together in one place.. even online lol.. conflicts arise.

    That's the thing, it isn't really reality. Would they speak to others like that in real life. Well they could certainly try, I think they would end up with a punch in the face on many occasions though lol.
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
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    I have noticed a huge difference on this site from when I was last here about 1 1/2 to 2 years ago. People were generally much nicer back then. Now I see so much negativity and so many people just being a-holes. Maybe there is a better site out there now.
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
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    I know what you mean. I read these posts every now and then and I am usually sorry I did. Just can't help but get sucked in sometimes! I stick to my MFP friends, though--they are all awesome and positive and supportive.
  • Shuliem
    Shuliem Posts: 11
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    you go nanniganns!:happy:

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