I need some Mom advice

On top of calling the mom to find out what is going on, I would also find out the school policy on birthday party invites. Our school,and most these days, have a policy that says invite everyone or no one. It could be just the kids miscommunicating, but at the very least you need to know the mom to let your daughter go anyways right? I am also of the opinion that my kid would be too young for a sleepover at that age.

I wouldn't let a 1st grader sleep over anywhere without actually speaking to the parent in charge first in any case. You are perfectly within your rights to phone a party-hosting parent to find out the details of any type of party whether you know the host or not. If you were hosting a party and your guests parents were confused about the details wouldn't you want them to call you?

Details from 1st graders can be unreliable at times. One or both of the girls could be getting something mixed up.

Phone the mom and find out exactly what is going on.

^ this! and yes, even though you don't know mom!

Absolutely. You need to know at least a little about the mom if it is a slumber party anyway. Little girl things in some towns can get stupid like that. Always asume the best until you know otherwise. Never take it personally. Find out. Do your best to find the friends that are positive and have nice values that you value. It's harder today with my youngest daughter than it was 10 years ago with my oldest daughter. Today's Moms are like the housewifes of (whereever) reality shows, sometimes! I could tell you some stories about birthday parties that would make you shake your head. Go for what you know is the right thing to do. Keep looking for positive friends for your daughter.

As one said on here already. You definately can't take the 1st graders word, and some info might be wishfull thinking or skewed info. Always get the info from the parents!

Besides all this, this is the way you get to know the families of the kids your kids hang out with.

Just another mom to chime in and say that we don't allow our kids to sleep at someone else's house unless we know the family well. This was an issue for my oldest just last night -- and he's 12. I don't even care if our friends allow their kids to go, their opinions and standards might be different than mine.

And if my kids have hurt feelings over it, too bad. I agree with the above member, "Better safe than sorry!" My job is to protect my children, not make them happy ;-)

Call the other mom - you want to at least talk to her before you'd let your daughter sleep in her home right? Tell her that "kids will be kids" and you think that someone got their wires crossed so you want to get it straightened out. Make sure you say that there was a confusion or mix-up so it doesn't sound like you are blaming her for it. I hope it works out!!

You can never be too careful with your child. Having raised 5 daughters, who are now raising children of their own, they understand the cautions we took when they were young. It is ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. After all this is your precious child and you are responsible for their safety.

I don't want this to sound judgmental, and turn this thread into a rampage, so I'll phrase it very carefully.

Are you comfortable having your daughter stay over at a home where you don't know the mother well enough to place a phone call?

Perhaps sleepovers would be more suitable when you have met this family.

sorry double post

Just to add, sometimes its easier to put the blame on yourself as the mother. If you take control of the situation and just decline the sleepover part yourself because you feel uncomfortable you will for sure save the child from feeling rejected by other people. lol That's just me though. I have zero issue being the bad guy for the sake of the greater good.

oh man!!! this stuff is so hard!! im like u i feel more shy and dont like having to talk to other moms and stuff like that! theres cliks and all the other moms are friends and on the pta and i feel out of place like in high school or something!! thats the fun part of being a mom u have to suck it up and pretend like ur not scared for your kids!! with the staying the night part...i always stayed at friends houses and had them at mine when i was little! but ofcourse i grew up with all my friends and my family knew theres so it was all good!! this stuff scares me because you never know what kind of wierdos are out there!! good luck! moving is difficult! even when you know the parents well, people could always be different behind closed doors!! just be carefull and have fun getting to know the other moms and i hope your daughter has fun whether she stays the night or not!!! its hard with kids once they start having playdates and all that fun stuff!! i was so excited once my daughter had little girlfriends but then it opens up other problems lol!!! oh the joys of motherhood!!

Phone the mom and find out exactly what is going on.

Agreed!

sorry, your post happened right before I hit send on mine so ignore my post... :-)

Glad the phone call went well and that things are worked out.

I don't want this to sound judgmental, and turn this thread into a rampage, so I'll phrase it very carefully.

Are you comfortable having your daughter stay over at a home where you don't know the mother well enough to place a phone call?

Perhaps sleepovers would be more suitable when you have met this family.

I agree.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. my kids don't spend the night anywhere until they are much older. They could go to the party, and i'd probably stay with them and help the mom with the party as much as possible, and then we would go home. My kids know the rules of our home and they would be informed ahead of time-no spending the night.

Hey - whatever happened with the party? Hopefully it went well.:flowerforyou: