Why arent all close friends and family happy I'm dieting?

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pineapple1989
pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am new to dieting, only been seriously dieting since the new year and recently hit my first mini-goal of 21lbs. My mum has always been the first to go on about how big I am and that I need to lose weight. So naturally I assumed that she would be very pleased and supportive when I started dieting and seeing the results. However when I told her I had hit the 21lb mark all she had to say was oh ok, good.

Now I understand that life isn't all about me and that other people have things going on in their life but after all the negative remarks I received over the years I expected a bit more encouragement from her and thought she might be pleased?

Am I being naiive or has anybody else experienced anything similar with close friends and family?
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Replies

  • jaxgirl0619
    jaxgirl0619 Posts: 7
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    We have to remember the reason why we went on the diet in the first place, is it for health reasons, for cosmetic reasons or just because we want to lose it for ourselves....when we remember that, then we don't need others approval....Just come on MFP and we can give you motivation and support...keep it up you are doing great!!!
  • 30yearssincebikini
    30yearssincebikini Posts: 261
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    Is she overweight? Maybe she is a little jealous because you have been able to stick with it. Congrats on losing! That's a great loss for such a short amount of time. Don't worry about your mother's attitude. She will come around. Or maybe she doesn't believe you will stick with it. Show her by reaching your goal, and I am sure she will be proud!
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 940 Member
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    friends and family see you doing what many of them want to do. They might be a tad bit jealous. encourage them to join the journey.
    you are doing awesome!
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
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    She isnt overweight herself but she has to be very strict with her diet to stay slim, I'm rally glad I found MFP because everybody on here is so great and supportive but am just disappointed as I am quite close to her... maybe she just needs to see that I am serious and WILL reach my goal weight!
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
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    You have to remember, change is hard on everyone, even good change. It's not that they aren't happy for you losing weight, it's just a change in what they are used to. Congrats on the loss! You're doing great.
  • honeydoozy
    honeydoozy Posts: 46 Member
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    I can relate to what you're feeling. I think that it has to do with maybe a little bit of jealousy (for lack of *better* word) - we ALL want to be better than we are right now, and maybe when they see someone having success, it reminds them that they aren't doing as well, or trying as hard, or something like that.

    In other words, it highlights their own self-image/self-esteem issues. ????

    I have a group of friends right now, who are all on different paths to the same goal (losing weight, getting fit, etc.) They are all trying really hard, and so... are very supportive of each others successes. The ones who are not trying so hard - not so much. Maybe that's it?
  • mashallej
    mashallej Posts: 39
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    I agree it is probably them being jealous of you. Awesome job and keep up the good work!
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
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    She might even be worried that you might gain it back and doesn't want to make a big deal about it. I will bet when you keep losing and more importantly keep it off for a long time then she will come around.

    If not, at least you will be healthier! :)
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    They're just J! You're doing this for YOU! Turn their negative energy into positive and use it motivation to keep on keepin' on!
  • soniaa777
    soniaa777 Posts: 126 Member
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    keep up the good work!! dont worry about ur friends and fam when your dieting. you are the one dieting, so you are the only 1 experiencing it. be proud of yourself and dont get discouraged if ur fam doesnt seem to care.
  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
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    YES. well.. My sister is tiny yet use to eat more than me, my family would all be like omg eat more to her, yet to me its like 'you dont know what exercise is...' even when I went running etc.. and would never say anything if I didnt eat that day. Then when I lost weight they would all want to feed me and be like stop losing weight. :| Either way they aren't happy
  • pixiestick
    pixiestick Posts: 839 Member
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    Remember that ultimately the reason you are on this fitness journey is to have a better life for you! Remember that it's your heart that no longer has that 20+ of extra fat it has to pump blood through! Remember that those are your knees that no longer have to carry that extra weight. Just keep your head high and don't feel too bummed... because it really is about you.
  • Fitfaery
    Fitfaery Posts: 68 Member
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    Maybe it's just understated happiness. My mum is wierd like that. WHen I told her I was getiing married, she just looked straight faced and said 'oh yeah, i knew that might happen'. She's your mum and at the end of the day she wants what is best for you no matter how it seems x Plus we're here for you honey xx be proud xx
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
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    Thanks everybody :) I love how supportive everybody is and that we can go through this journey together, never have I been on a forum/message board where everybody is so friendly and helpful
  • Determined523
    Determined523 Posts: 49
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    I actually have been laughed at when I tell people that I am dieting and trying to get in better shape. Like when I refuse to eat bday cake or order a side salad instead of fries.

    I just think in my head... You're laughing now but I'm gonna laugh when you are jealous of my sexy bod. lol.

    Good luck and I am proud or ur achievement!!!
  • MrsCharlie13
    MrsCharlie13 Posts: 6
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    Congrats on the 22lb loss already! You're doing awesome!!! I'm just starting myself, and finding the same reaction from some. One of the girls at work keeps offering cookies and all kinds of crap and tells me to "live a little." I attribute it all to jealousy, just like everyone else said. We have to remember that we're doing this for OURSELVES!!! If you're trying to lose weight to impress anyone or gain your Mom's approval, it wont work out. Stick with it! I'm proud of you, and I look up to you since I've only lost two lbs so far!
  • STrooper
    STrooper Posts: 659 Member
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    Whether we know it or not, we train people to know us a certain way (including how much we weigh).

    Sometimes, when we don't enlist the support of friends and family members, particularly parents who feel that they have a lot to do with your weight through your younger life and set you up for adulthood, they may feel a degee of guilt or even envy about it. But much of it is the uncertainty of how you want them to see you now and in the future.

    Ask for her support and keep up the good work.
  • joannejacob
    joannejacob Posts: 3
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    First of all, congratulations! I hope you're proud of your accomplishment. Secondly, I'm sorry you aren't getting the acknowledgment you probably should. Could it be that your mother has always been there to help you with things? Maybe she feels that your weight loss equals independence for you, and that you won't need her anymore. Could you possibly include her in your efforts to lose weight? Maybe it's that closeness she's craving. Good luck to you, and keep up the good work!
  • truecountrygirl
    truecountrygirl Posts: 100 Member
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    I can totally relate and if you want to add me you can. Everyone in my family is the same way like when my mom makes something that isnt that healthy she will say "o just eat some it isnt going to kill you" or my cousin will say "you cant eat that cuz your on a diet" or something like that and let me tell you just starting out on this and getting comments like that from your own family doesnt help at all but then i think to myself that i am doing this for ME to better MYSELF and MY future so if they want to say all that to me i just let it go and think about what i want to do for myself. this might sound selfish but just me i am the most unselfish person you will ever meet. this is the one thing that i am doing for myself and no one else can stop me.
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
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    I wonder worry, my Dad is the same. He used to go on about me losing weight, now I've made a few different choices with my food an eating and he is now constantly offering me food and biscuits. I wouldn't worry, I think parents can just be a it funny sometimes, even when they want the best for you, maybe she is worried that it won't stick, I'm sure she's secretly proud.

    P.S. good job on losing 21lbs!

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