I need a little pep talk (probably a little negativity in he

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christibam
christibam Posts: 478 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm not sure what my deal is today but I'm not as excited as I usually am. I mean, I'm still in a great mood and I'm happy but I started to think (oh no!) about things this morning.

I have never seen myself thin. Maybe when I was three years old, but then I turned into a fat kid who turned into a fat adult. I've never been small, healthy or fit. At my lowest adult weight I was maybe 225 and I'm still 40lbs away from that. Yes, I've lost 34lbs in 10 weeks.... I know I was able to get down to this before a couple years ago. I'm not even sure how I did it and didn't even notice I looked great. I look in the mirror now and I don't see me. THIS is me... this is what I think I see in the mirror now and it's not anymore.



Edit* This is a picture from 2010, when I was at my smallest in my adult life. I'm about 40lbs above this picture now.


37947_171718656178848_100000221446439_627772_2926247_n.jpg

So I KNOW I've got it in me to do THAT. But losing more? How?

But I can't picture myself being actually not big. Not having the back boobs, arm flab or tummy. I think I was a size 12-14 in that picture and that was the smallest I had been in YEARS. Like... since middle school. Then I got married and just ate...and ate... and ate.

At 298lbs I just lost it and had to do something.

The problem I'm having now is that I honestly can't see myself getting to 148.5, which is what my Doctor says I should be at for my height and frame. I pretty much want to tell him to shove it but I know if other people have done it before, I should be able to as well. My first goal is just to get down to 180... but, right this moment, I feel as if that'll never happen.

I really don't know what my deal is. I know I have the control to keep going with it. The problem is that I think my body is supposed to be fat.

I don't know.

Tell me happy stories of weight loss? lol

Replies

  • liegeygirl
    liegeygirl Posts: 20 Member
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    We have a lot in common. I was 298 too, and once I started loosing weight the first time I tried, I was scared something was wrong. I started loosing weight and I didn't know how to feel about it. I thought I was sick or not eating enough, but this time is different. I knew when I started this time, I wanted to loose weight for health reasons, but also to shop! LOL!!

    I've been diagnosed with PCOS and Grave's disease, so to be healthier is my main goal. I also want to try to be at a good weight in order to have a baby too. Right now I'm having issues with my cycle being regular and I truly think its my weight, so I've got to get on it.

    Well girlie, hang in there. Don't be afraid. Try to embrace the new you and reward yourself with clothes that fit because shopping in a whole new area will motivate you. Let me know if you ever need anything!! I'm about to request you as a friend too!!
  • distantdez
    distantdez Posts: 2 Member
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    You've already lost 34 lbs? That's AWESOME!! If you can lose that you can easily lose the rest. No one is supposed to be overweight, we just all eat too much in the western world.

    The times when I eat too much are times when I'm stressed or upset about something. Maybe think about the reason you're eating when you feel the need to eat and eat and eat and try to deal with the real issue rather than try to make yourself feel better with food (because let's be honest that NEVER works).

    Must most of all focus not on the weight, but on your health!
  • rmb561s
    rmb561s Posts: 3
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    You look great! And the good news is, you have already self-diagnosed - it's all in your HEAD!!!!!
    So here is some unsolicited advice lol
    If you can find a way to get your sub-conscious mind to communicate with your conscious mind that you are a now naturally thin person then both parts of your mind will start working together to help you take the right actions to do that. Find a pic of yourself at your ideal weight, or a pic of someone else at your ideal weight and put your face over theirs lol. I know it sounds crazy, but it works! Post it somewhere you will see it everyday and tell yourself "I am a naturally thin person". If you have a target/goal weight then post a pic of that number from your scale and tell yourself everyday that is how much you weigh.
    Hope this helps, it worked for me :)
  • hookandy
    hookandy Posts: 278 Member
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    Hiya,

    I started from 294, so have a bit of a headstart, but you are already well ahead 34lb in 10 weeks. I am 17 in 6 weeks.

    You have said yourself that 180 seems an unreachable goal, so what about a smaller goal. What about setting your first goal to be 250, about 14lb away.(If my math is right) Then 225, 200 etc. Lots of little steps are less daunting than a few huge leaps.

    I am not even looking at where I need to get to, just set a goal of getting to 240 by my birthday in July. Will see where next after then.

    You are already well on the way, just keep doing what you are doing
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
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    Hard work, determination and a little bit of stubbornness can go a long way to helping you reach your goal!
    Set yourself a smaller step goal. You've lost a lot already, so you know what to do. Reward yourself for reaching each mini goal. Since you're at 34 already, why not reward yourself at 50 pounds lost? Just a little something. A new piece of jewelry, a mani/pedi, new hairstyle, something that will help you feel good about the changes you have made already! You deserve it!
    Don't imagine yourself at 148.5 right now. See yourself a little smaller every day. Work your way down. You look great in that picture. Use it! You can and you will get there. Just keep going! You can do it!
    Negativity is a hard thing to beat down. Find your inner optimist, or create it if you can't find it. You can and you will get there! Just keep telling yourself you ARE doing it, and you WILL complete this. Have a little faith in yourself. It can happen.
  • NicVino
    NicVino Posts: 19
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    I started at 253 lbs in 2008, a size 20...I had always been big, too. A size 14 was "small" to me. Then one day a light bulb went off. I was fed up with everything. I started seeing a nutritionist and lost 70 lbs....thennn, I got pregnant. I stuck with my diet just eating a little more when I felt hungry. The day I delivered I was 202 lbs (October 2009) by December/January, I was 155lbs! Thennn, I got pregnant again. The day I delivered (Nov. 2010), I was 185. I started working out as soon as I was "allowed" and lost a whole whopping 11 lbs. Now a year later, I'm still struggling (at 165lbs-size 12/14), but my goal is in mind. No, I'm not as big as I was, but I'm still not where I "should" be or even *want* to be. Some days I think, "that's it, I'm just supposed to be fat; it's what my body knows, bla bla bla". I just chalk those days up as having a bad day and move on. I may even indulge in foods I normally wouldn't, and start fresh the next day. But I've found that going to the gym really helps me get out of my funk. Just working up a good sweat really seems to help me clear my head.
    Try not to think too much into it...that's how you end up giving up on yourself and find yourself in that "yo yo dieting" stage. The only advice I can think of is try to get a work out in today. Just put on some upbeat music (I prefer the Pitbull station on Pandora LOL) and work your *kitten* off! If you don't feel better about yourself after that, then try not to sabatoge yourself today and start fresh tomorrow!
    Good Luck! I hope this helped, maybe?

    Feel free to add me! =)
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    Set smaller goals. Rome wasn't built in a day! Maybe 20 pounds at a time. You might also consider some talk therapy to help you work through your body image issues. It's not unusual AT ALL for someone to lose the weight and yet still see a large person in the mirror. It's the stuff eating disorders are made of, unfortunately. For now, small goals, and concentrate on being HEALTHY, not skinny. You're off to a great start! :smile:
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    Thanks so much everyone. I actually ran out the door and started Couch to 5k today after I posted this. Nothing like jogging to Lady Gaga and "I'm Sexy and I Know It" to get me smiling. I swear I almost cried during the 60 second fast intervals though. I blame the road I live by... they didn't name it Riverhills just for ****s and giggles.

    But dangit!!!! I finished it with everything I had!!!

    180 is my first massive goal. My doctor says I should be 148.5 and I'm like..... :\ really?

    I started getting my hair back to blond when I lost 25lbs. It will be finished (dark brown to blond takes more than one session lol) when I lose 40. I'll be getting my nose re-pierced when I lose 50. When I can fit into the dress I got married in (not a white frilly dress lol) my husband and I will go out somewhere that requires a dress like that.

    Aaaaaaaaaand, when I can't fit into any of the pants I have from being smaller (mostly size 16's) I will go out and buy some new jeans that make people say, "mm! Dat *kitten*..."



    I think I just get down thinking I've never gotten below like 219 in my adult life. I got a little sad wondering if I can ever EVER get down below that. I don't know... but I guess I'll be one super freakishly fit 219lb woman if that happens because I'm not stopping and I won't give up on me.

    Again, thank you everyone. I needed that.

    Oh and here... pics from various times.

    This was at my highest weight when I was 18 years old. I was 308lbs. The 2nd pic next to it was after 23 days on Nutrisystem... I've done more on my own now than with that lol.

    23days1.jpg

    A few years later and I didn't look terribly obese anymore...

    13836_105632899454091_100000221446439_148000_5851810_n.jpg


    Then the weight came back on.

    This was at my starting point this time. December 11th, 2011 at 298lbs.

    431293_387623424588369_100000221446439_1770534_1398364721_n.jpg

    Taken the other day. I felt like showing off my 'sweatband' that day. Someone once said sweat is fat crying... yeah... it is.

    403168_396481523702559_100000221446439_1794341_72005783_n.jpg
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! I was sitting here going through old pictures and my jaw about dropped at a few of them. I can't believe I hardly ever felt pretty a couple years ago. I'm about to cry just looking at myself back then and wondering what pain I must have been feeling to NOT see someone pretty here. I just thought, "I'd kill to look like her." I don't have to though... because that was me. IS me. I think the fat me ate the skinny me but that little punk is about to come back out soon!!!!

    I really miss having a jaw line lmao

    24584_108759672474747_100000221446439_224738_337286_n.jpg

    36074_166441256706588_100000221446439_590430_5647726_n.jpg



    I can't wait to get 'me' back now.

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