Plentyoffish and dating
I made an account on POF way back in the summer of last year. Lost weight since then of course. I sent a few messages to someone who shared similar interests with me. Her messages were polite enough, and she just stopped responding after I asked her out. By the way, we never met. I didn't think it was a big deal, since those things happen. I never changed my profile.
We bumped into each other over the weekend. She recognized my name and asked if I was the same person on POF. Since then, she's been texting, messaging on FB, etc....
I'm the same person. Just lost some weight. I'm not sure whether I should give her another chance or just brush her off, since she didn't really give me the time of day back then. Or maybe things happened, and she was busy.
Since you guys have lost weight, how do you guys react to people who suddenly do a 180 on you?
We bumped into each other over the weekend. She recognized my name and asked if I was the same person on POF. Since then, she's been texting, messaging on FB, etc....
I'm the same person. Just lost some weight. I'm not sure whether I should give her another chance or just brush her off, since she didn't really give me the time of day back then. Or maybe things happened, and she was busy.
Since you guys have lost weight, how do you guys react to people who suddenly do a 180 on you?
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Replies
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You are still the same person....You dont want to be with someone just because of your looks, I woudnt bother...make her regret she didnt get with you when she had the chance....but thats just my opinion
Good luck! Congrats on the weight loss by the way 0 -
If you find her interesting, go for it. And if it really bothers you, ask her about it.0
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She sounds shallow to me. . .
I still have a soft spot for someone who loved me even when I was fat. . . He's not a good match for me, but I think that shows he truly cared about ME, not just what I looked like. . And that's hugely important.0 -
If you find her interesting, go for it. And if it really bothers you, ask her about it.
i would do this be straight forward0 -
Aren't most people into online dating... plenty offish?
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Aren't most people into online dating... plenty offish?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
POF it hell, it doesn't matter if you are big or small..it depends on where you live lol. I live in a small city and its filled with guys who think its a pile of girls so desperate that their panties will fall off at the coffee shop..when mine don't its NEXT. I realize that sounds bitter perhaps it is..I just am sick of online dating..its depressing I just have zippo clue how to meet men in real life anyone with a clue pass it on please 0
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Aren't most people into online dating... plenty offish?
We have a WINNER!0 -
Interesting.
It's like a little experiment I've been running of my own.
Now that I'm in fantastic shape, I've grown an absurd beard for the past 4 months. It's really just a test to see what girls do, and do not talk to me/wanna hang out, etc. So come summer, when I shave and walk around half-naked everywhere, I know who to focus my time and attention on.
I'm very serious.
I look like a complete creep and killer with the beard. But as my ongoing study shows, I seem to get equal attention right now (with the 4 month beard) as I did in the summer clean-shaven.
I also get pursued consistantly at work (bar) by very cute girls. So all-in-all, it's a GOOD thing they still wanna do stuff and hangout, cause I like to think it's REGARDLESS of how I look.
This is about the 3rd time I've run this experiment.
Ya, I'm a weirdo.0 -
Personally, I would not bother. If she was that busy, she should have said so, not just blown you off. Despite you being interested in her now, if what seems to be her personality holds true, you might not need someone like her in the long run. Just depends what your objectives are I suppose, but if she didn't have the time to even bother before to even give you a straight up answer, I wouldn't bother with it. **disclaimer: I tend to throw dueces up easy-low tolerance for bullsh^t**0
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POF it hell, it doesn't matter if you are big or small..it depends on where you live lol. I live in a small city and its filled with guys who think its a pile of girls so desperate that their panties will fall off at the coffee shop..when mine don't its NEXT. I realize that sounds bitter perhaps it is..I just am sick of online dating..its depressing I just have zippo clue how to meet men in real life anyone with a clue pass it on please
I hear you big time! Same position with me too, I have too much respect for my body. I'm no longer bothering with online dating...not worth it.0 -
HAHA, as I'm reading this, the ad banner is for none other that plentyoffish.
***** sounds shallow, IGNORE.0 -
I said to a friend the other day that I was going to wait till I was at my "fighting weight" to try a dating site. She was horrified! She thinks I should do it right now. She said, "Why would you want to date a guy who might not like you because you have a little extra weight?"
Well, because that guy is human. He has a few photos to go by, and some witty writing. As sucky as it is that an awesome guy might flip right past my photo, I do get it. I have surely done the same thing.
Until people get to know each other, that "first impression" of our photos, etc. are all we have.
If I were you, I'd be flattered that my hard work had paid off, and that she was definitely noticing you now. I don't know that it's shallow that she didn't before-- it's just human. My opinion.0 -
I think you should go out with her for a one nighter, then act like you're avoiding her. When she asks why tell her she's a little thick for your tastes. Even if she isn't large, it will mess with her head.
Seriously, there are tons of reasons why things might not have clicked. So, I wouldn't assume anything about the earlier encounters.....0 -
Depends on what you're after. By what I mean don't hope too much from her for a LTR...0
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While I am happily together with someone I have noticed people are way nicer to me than before. I certainly get more attention than before. I will say the people I tend to think are the most precious in my life are those who have been with me since the start.0
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In my time on POF I found a lot of weirdos, creepers and pervs. When the time came that I stopped looking and started to focus on myself is when I found someone (not online). I guess everything happens for a reason, and I never believed people when they said it comes when you are least expecting it but I surely do now! Keep your head up and good luck with the dating, its hard to find a decent sincere person these days and when you do, you better hold onto them!0
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Do what you feel is right, but you deserve someone who will be with you whether you gain weight or lose. I met my boyfriend on okcupid, and he fell in love with me when I was fat, still loved me at my highest weight and is still in love with me as I am losing this weight. You just need to find that right one.0
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This doesn't matter though, since the people who skipped past you will "click" on your picture when you are in a "better shape". And they probably won't remember your name either, so it won't matter to them that they skipped you in the past.Well, because that guy is human. He has a few photos to go by, and some witty writing. As sucky as it is that an awesome guy might flip right past my photo, I do get it. I have surely done the same thing.
Until people get to know each other, that "first impression" of our photos, etc. are all we have.
So you should subscribe as soon as you want, and as your look changes, some people will start stopping by, other will keep ignoring you.0 -
I think you should give her another chance. Meetiing someone in person is way different then trying to get to know someone online. There is a chance that her reluctance didnt really have anything to do with you, it may have had more to do with the online situation 0
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I said to a friend the other day that I was going to wait till I was at my "fighting weight" to try a dating site. She was horrified! She thinks I should do it right now. She said, "Why would you want to date a guy who might not like you because you have a little extra weight?"
Well, because that guy is human. He has a few photos to go by, and some witty writing. As sucky as it is that an awesome guy might flip right past my photo, I do get it. I have surely done the same thing.
Until people get to know each other, that "first impression" of our photos, etc. are all we have.
If I were you, I'd be flattered that my hard work had paid off, and that she was definitely noticing you now. I don't know that it's shallow that she didn't before-- it's just human. My opinion.
This is so true!0 -
Hmmm this one seems to have sparked a bit of venom?
POF... I've used it in the past and have to say this in this poor womans defence..... Maybe she wasn't "sure" you'd asked her out? Maybe she was already semi interested in someone else she'd just met... wanted to pursue that avenue perhaps? Nothing wrong with that I think. Maybe she had some personal issues that required dealing with? Maybe her life was a disaster at that time? Maybe she had some hang ups about an "ex" that you wouldn't have wanted to deal with anyway??
As You can see....there are a TON of maybe's here (i'm sure others could add a million more!) But, my point is this............ IF you were interested enough back then, and you are still interested in her now... do NOT judge her on something so trivial. Do what you would wish to have done if the tables were turned.... be straight forward, honest and polite and just ASK her. Let her know you felt a little "blown off" back then and ask if she'd have felt the same way.
My personal experience with POF has been interesting to say the least.....but, I rapidly developed a keen sense for who was 'legit' and who was a 'shark' I'm happy to say I found my 'fish' and he's fantastic....but, I did have to dine with a few sharks first
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If you like her, go for it. If not, steer clear.
I find that I do generate a lot more interest since I've lost weight. However, I think it's not all my physical looks. I'm also 110% more confident than I used to be and I think that has a lot to do with it too.
You can't be sure it has anything to do with looks that she stopped messaging you in the first place. Sometimes people lose interest, sometimes someone else comes into the picture and we have to make a choice, sometimes it takes too long to get to around to the date, sometimes they just weren't as interested as they originally thought, sometimes it's just that personalities don't click. It can be lots of things; don't assume it's appearance.0 -
I kind of don't blame her. I am not to keen about dating someone that I only know online. Nowadays people need to be more careful about who they meet so maybe that was one of her reasons. If I were you, I would try to talk to her and see what the deal was. Plus the first sign of attraction is the physical, we are first attracted to what we see, not the personality, to me that comes later.0
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Listen to your gut. If your posting that question on this message board I believe you gut is telling you to back off this woman.0
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I definitely agree with this lady! give her a chance!I said to a friend the other day that I was going to wait till I was at my "fighting weight" to try a dating site. She was horrified! She thinks I should do it right now. She said, "Why would you want to date a guy who might not like you because you have a little extra weight?"
Well, because that guy is human. He has a few photos to go by, and some witty writing. As sucky as it is that an awesome guy might flip right past my photo, I do get it. I have surely done the same thing.
Until people get to know each other, that "first impression" of our photos, etc. are all we have.
If I were you, I'd be flattered that my hard work had paid off, and that she was definitely noticing you now. I don't know that it's shallow that she didn't before-- it's just human. My opinion.0 -
As much as we all don't want to admit it, physical attraction IS a big part of a relationship. You have to be attracted to your partner on all levels.
And, I met my boyfriend online, but on match.com.0 -
Maybe she thought you were some sort of CREEPY INTERNET person and now that she see's you are a normal person then I would say that's what it is.0
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she could have just been shy? Idk, I backed out on quite a few dates when I had my online dating profile set up, but only because I would chicken out. I'd say ask her on a date, gently confront her about it. Maybe she had just met someone else? Who knows, I would give it a shot.0
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As much as we all don't want to admit it, physical attraction IS a big part of a relationship. You have to be attracted to your partner on all levels.
And, I met my boyfriend online, but on match.com.
I met my fiance, and baby daddy to be online (engaged 8/28/11 found out we are having a baby on 1/01/12!) You never will know her real reasons unless you go on a date with her. If she is really shallow you will find out soon enough!0
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