SOMEONE PLEASE HELP. REALLY NEED IT!!! :(

NikitaC2
NikitaC2 Posts: 59
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
Hi All,
I am a 23 year old female, 1,55m & approx. 80kg at the moment.

I'm seriously struggling to get back on track. I've been to a dietician last year and lost kg in 3 months. I stopped seeing her cos she seemed to wanna see me every week and that was financially unnecessary. I explained to her that every 2nd week would be better for me, but she insisted and would not budge. So I terminated her services.
I kept up the good work for a few weeks, but I have slipped right back into all my old habits and stopped gyming completely, something i did 3-4 times a week. I can feel my rolls getting bigger, and have since put on 3.5kg, moving to 4kg.
I just cant seem to stop myself... its getting so hard!!!!

I am Maid of Honour in my cousin's wedding at the end of September 2012 & I am afraid I will be fatter and not thinner as I had told myself I would be!!
I NEED HELP AND SERIOUS MOTIVATION... PLEASE HELP!!!!!

I feel down and defeated. I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
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Replies

  • don't feel defeated! this is just a roadblock! take that frustration and sadness you feel and put that into motivation!!! if you need any encouragement, feel free to add me ...i'd love to help you! and can i add that you are absolutely beautiful now ..don't forget that either! you're just better who you are now :D
  • you need to get some definite goals written down so that you know exactly what you want to do and how you want to do it, and when you would like to complete them. Make sure that they are realistic and not crazy difficult, like losing a bunch of weight in like one month. but other than that keep logging your food and be very specific, this has helped me tremendously because it holds me accountable for everything that I am doing.
  • I've been there!! I'll add you:flowerforyou:
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
    Never let your goals hold you back or scare you, you can do and you have in the past, so pick yourself up by the bootstraps and be determined to let nothing get in the way of your new lifestyle!
    And make it a lifestyle change not just a diet , this is your life your fighting for in the end.
  • spg50208
    spg50208 Posts: 9 Member
    Don't feel defeated. Everyone's life changes are different. I think the tough reality is that those services were highly valuable to you. If you were working towards a better future, then isn't that worth the expense? I would search for a new coach, or even just a workout/diet accountability partner if money is the issue.

    You've already identified what works for you, and that's half the battle. Recommit to that kind of relationship as soon as you can.

    Also, picture yourself and your family's reaction to your new self at that wedding after having lost weight. Picture it every day. Picture it while you're working out. Keep your "WHY" motivation in front of you at all times. Put pictures of people in the dress you want to wear on your fridge to keep you motivated.

    I look at other successful, fit, body transformations daily to remind myself that, even if my body isn't there yet, it is what I'm pursuing.

    Stick with it and hang in there!
  • Dont feel down and defeated. Take today as a new beginning and set some achievable goals. When we set goals we cannot met then we find ourselves slipping back into our old habits. Is there anyone that you can buddy up with that can hold you accountable for gym days, eating, etc.? If not I can buddy up with you. I have at least 30 lbs to lose and I am getting married in June.
  • RunJasonRun
    RunJasonRun Posts: 82 Member
    LOL...you are doing good. hang in there.

    You have to find a REASON or set some GOALS;' like a new dress, to be healthier, to be sexy, to live better, to be able to sleep better, to be able to breathe better. When you find the reasons or set the goals, then you have to develope a plan by doing research; reading mag's, looking on the internet and so on...do your research, not every plan is for every body! Find what works for you.

    Once you have all the pieces in place...stay determined, write a journal, put sticky notes up everywhere as daily reminders of why you are making a LIFESTYLE change...it is a long process and it will test your will...

    If you stick to a good plan...you should see some results in 8 weeks...but you have to stay with the plan.

    You have to start in the Kitchen, watch what you eat, cut out the junk, eat healthier... Here is a good website:
    www.NatalieJillFitness.com

    Here is another website that I use...http://body-improvements.com

    My goals are to become healthier, get off the medicines, get rid of Sleep APENA (sp), have 6 pack abs, and live a better life.

    please feel free to ask questions and pass along this info to others.

    /Jason
  • MsCaramel1
    MsCaramel1 Posts: 18 Member
    You can do this one day at a time, u have to focus and get back on track! September will be here before you know it, quit making excuses and own this healthier life. Dont sit there and allow yourself to fail get up and do something about it!
  • ParisPenguin
    ParisPenguin Posts: 39 Member
    Don't get defeated! Hang in there, and you've certainly come to the right place!

    Feel free to add me as a friend!
  • Well you've started in the right place!! Getting support from others is crucial. Beyond that, the key to achieving anything--including getting healthier--is just consistent action. Start small and just build better habits a little at a time. If you've never read the Zen Habits blog, the author offers amazing tips on tranforming your life based on his own experience. It's very inspiring and makes it seem manageable. www.zenhabits.net. It's helped me a lot, and so has this website. Try to focus on becoming healthier, not just losing weight. It's got to be a lifestyle change. Good luck!!!!!
  • kmganz
    kmganz Posts: 16
    First thing first: take a deep breath.

    It sounds like you're overwhelmed and the thought of working so hard to get back on track is too much. Don't look at the big picture, if that's too scary. Set mini goals - like "today I'm going to make healthy choices for food", or "today I will exercise three times for 10 minutes each". Then just do it! You know you can!

    If you keep yourself focused on the little things, they'll add up to the big thing and before you know it, you will be the hottest member of the bridal party (bride excluded, of course)!

    Remember...one day at a time - and don't beat yourself up if you don't hit every goal. Life happens sometimes. The key is not letting that defeat you and staying focused on TODAY, not yesterday. Good luck!!
  • kd80538
    kd80538 Posts: 97 Member
    Start with "mini" goals each day... "Today, I will drink at least 6 glasses of water." "Today I will strive for a fruit/vegetable at every meal"...keep them little, keep them manageable, and celebrate those small victories. Work yourself back into the healthier lifestyle...once you've nailed a bunch of little accomplishments, I suspect you'll find that other new habits work their way into your daily life as well.

    And be nice to yourself. So many times we fall off track and get so caught up in the failure that it just starts a vicious cycle that usually ends up with...what do I have to lose...I'm already off track...one more won't hurt, etc. If you stumble...it's ok. Brush yourself off, learn from it and move on...FORWARD!

    Hang in there, and rely on this amazing support system in MFP! This fitness family has picked me up, inspired me, and forgave me for my mistakes along the way...it's the best system I've EVER been part of!
  • ShellBelle6
    ShellBelle6 Posts: 105 Member
    don't feel defeated! this is just a roadblock! take that frustration and sadness you feel and put that into motivation!!! if you need any encouragement, feel free to add me ...i'd love to help you! and can i add that you are absolutely beautiful now ..don't forget that either! you're just better who you are now :D

    Ditto!
  • I know it's really hard to get back on track after getting off a regular schedule. You can do it though! Found this article on Making Habits stick :
    http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/18-tricks-to-make-new-habits-stick.html .

    I personally LOVE the group fitness classes at my YMCA. It's one of the motivations that get me out of the house daily. Find some classes you would like....do you like to dance? Try ZUMBA! It's soo much fun.

    Good Luck!
  • Is there anyone locally who can help hold you accountable in person? Pre-schedule your meals, **In writing**, so you don't deviate from your plan. Put check boxes on the sheet of paper so you have to acknowledge everything physically. And it sounds like you need to make some exercise appointments with some friends or a trainer so there are no excuses NOT to go to the gym. That's the best I can come up with a the moment. Go find a flight of stairs **right now** that you can climb for 15 minutes. Right Now! (hope that helps)
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    lasting motivation must come from within you. if you want improved health bad enough, you will get back on track. write down ALL of the things you hate about being overweight...dig deep and be brutally honest with yourself. review your list often. at some point, if your reasons are meaningful enough to you, you will get pissed off and stop self sabotaging your journey. if you don't stop self sabotaging your journey, then either you haven't dug deep enough to find meaningful-enough reasons to commit to a healthy lifestyle...OR...maybe you are okay with your current lifestyle.
  • elexichoccyeater
    elexichoccyeater Posts: 310 Member
    Courtney... do not panic!!! Just take it one step at a time.. make a diary of what you are going to do and try to stick to it.

    Put a photo (that you hate) on the fridge door with another of something you are going to buy when you have lost your weight.

    Another thing that works for me... I LOVE chocolate... so I have got some of the best chocolates money can buy and I always have 2 a night! That way when I feel tempted I remember I am having them later on. Trust me a cheap cookie is no where as good as these chocolates!

    Most of all measure your self. I wish I had of done that earlier... so when you exercise and lose inches but no pounds, you can see payment for your hard work....
    JUST BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE AND IMAGINE ALL THE COMMENTS AT THE WEDDING WHEN YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT!

    Good luck xxxxx
  • donnamorad
    donnamorad Posts: 22 Member
    I have felt the same way you are feeling now. This time around my motivation is my cousin's wedding at the end of Sept. 2012. What I am doing differently is being concious of what I am eating....I am trying to eat clean...and working out. Don't feel defeated. Take things one day at a time and make little goals for yourself. Don't give up on eating everything bad for you. Maybe one day you can give up soda for a week and the next week it can be white rice. Whatever it is you CAN do it!!!! Find a friend that will go on the journey with you to support you and workout with you. Little steps now with progression. Slow and steady always wins the race. You can add me if you like. Head up and be positive...you can do it!!!
  • We've all been there, and we've all slipped. The only difference is some of us chose to get back up and start over again! That's what you have to choose to do! It's your life and your body! It's time for you to rule it instead of your body ruling you and putting limitations on you!

    You CAN do this, you just have to WANT IT bad enough! :) Start off small if you aren't ready to jump off the deep end! Start by drinking 8 glasses of water a day AT LEAST and adding in a 30 minute walk a day! Do this for a few weeks, and then throw in a different exercise with a longer time period. Track every bite in your mouth so that your conscious of everything your eating.Eventually it will become second nature to you and once you feel better about things you'll perk right up! Exercise will help you feel more energetic which will help you do more and be more motivated! You CAN do this. YOU RULE your body, not the other way around. Use exercise as your medium to do so!

    I hope this helps! Feel free to add me if you need to :)
  • you need to get some definite goals written down so that you know exactly what you want to do and how you want to do it, and when you would like to complete them. Make sure that they are realistic and not crazy difficult, like losing a bunch of weight in like one month. but other than that keep logging your food and be very specific, this has helped me tremendously because it holds me accountable for everything that I am doing.

    This is a great idea! I find that having an open food diary here is also helpful, because it keeps me accountable. Maybe you can start a weight loss competition at work or between friends. Try giving yourself a reward for each goal met. I have an adorable dress I bought recently that is just one size too small so I'm working towards fitting in it obviously, the reward=a cute new dress! haha
  • jleed53
    jleed53 Posts: 53 Member
    Sounds like you need someone to hold you accountable. You used the nutrionist as an excuse to stay on track because you didn't want her to be disapointed in you. Think really hard why you want to loose weight; is it to impress the nutrionist or is it to impress yourself?! If you need someone to hold you accountable, and believe me, we all do, I'd suggest finding a friend who can commit to always being there for you to encourage you and help you stay on track :flowerforyou: .

    Also, post pictures all around your house of what you want to look like at the wedding. I have skinny photos tapped on the outside AND inside of my fridge so I am reminded every meal to make smarter eating decisions. Surround yourself with thoughts, quotes, pictures, and people that inspire, motivate, and point you in the right direction.

    Also, change the way you think. Don't think "OMG I dont want to be fat at this wedding:sad: :cry: :sad: ", but instead think "I will be skinnier and happier at this wedding:laugh: :happy: ". Repeat positive sayings to yourself and visulize yourself acheiving the results, and then they will happen. You create your own reality with your thoughts, so think positive. As soon as you start to think "FAT", change your thought to "SKINNY".

    Good luck girl, you can TOTALLY do this!! :wink:
  • jensmac2
    jensmac2 Posts: 2 Member
    Hang in there!! The truth is, as I am sure you know, it is not an easy or fast process! You have to be good to yourself and try really hard not to beat yourself up over this. You are beautiful! Take it one day at a time, one meal at a time, if you slip up it is ok, dont let that ruin the whole weight loss process for you, just make a different choice the next time.
    I have a friend who does this for a living, she helps women understand the emotional reasons you eat what you do or want to eat what you do - I wish I could hook you up with her! Love yourself and just keep plugging away at it, you will get there if you really want to. Dont give up. One day/meal at a time!
    In my opinion it is so much about what you eat. You can skip the gym some days and still be ok, you don't have to be a work out maniac - though of course that helps.
    I hope you hang in there and get to that goal weight! Love yourself NOW and let you be beautiful at any weight! State of mind is huge!
  • 2012asv
    2012asv Posts: 702 Member
    What helped ME was a positive attitude. Everyday i did somthing "positive" for my health whether it be eating healthy, exercising, taking the stairs instead, parking a little farther, and just getting my BRAIN into fitness mode. Once that happened- my body followed.
    I've never worked out so hard in my life, nor have i ever ate healthier AND enjoyed it.

    Remind yourslef of what you want EVERYDAY... then make it happen girlfriend! YOU CANNNNNN DO IT! If you've done it once, you can do it again! And who knows, maybe better than last time! :)
  • Jessicapages1
    Jessicapages1 Posts: 114 Member
    I suggest that you.....

    1)Make a list of your goals (write down what your goals are,for the day/week/month)
    2)Make fitness plan (Write out your workouts, what you are going to be doing that week/day)
    3)Get your diet back on track and LOG EVERYTHING you are eating!!!
    4)MAke a day where you dedicate it to meal planning (set a day where you make all your food for the week)
    5)Drink atleast 64 oz of water,cut out soda,tea,STICK TO WATER or Crystle Lite


    I do this everyday/week/month my goals are changing everyday.I make it a point to have a plan for the GymI am doing Jamie Eason'sLiveFit Trainer program and LOVING IT!!!! I cook my food for the week on Sunday.I do have a cheat meal,but keep it to just a meal not a day!! It wont be easy and you will want to quit but just remember your WHY (why you want to lose the weight,why you started this journey) I PROMISS in the end you will be SOO PROUD of yoursrlf!! Oh and throw away the scale.I would take pics and Measurments.I would weigh myself once a month,but the inches are what count!!! Please feel free to add me if you want!! I am going to ISSA for my Personal Training Certificat and share ALOT of GREAT tips!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! STAY STRONG!!!:smile:
  • RunAmock
    RunAmock Posts: 95 Member
    I have been there. It is scary and sometimes seems like you are fighting a losing battle. But you're not losing, or you wouldn't be here. Just make today positive and take things one day at a time. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. That is where the defeatist mentality takes hold and you get overwhelmed and kind of stall or almost rebel against your own efforts. Like someone else said, you are beautiful already. Don't lose sight of that. Go back to the basics. Remind yourself why you want to lose weight and make a list of things and tack it up. I made a motivational poster that I framed that is in my office. It is a nice reminder of why I am doing this....for my health and vitality more than anything else. :) Good luck. And feel free to friend me. I could use encouragement and motivation some days, too.
  • redshoeshelley
    redshoeshelley Posts: 206 Member
    Look at all this love !!! :heart:
    Hang in there girl, with support like this you are determined to succeed. Mind over matter. Remember to celebrate the milestones ... regardless of how big they are!
    You drank all 8 glass of water today ... woohoo!!
    You ate more fruits and veggies and less carbs ... woohoo!!
    You avoided that sweet that was desperately calling your name ... woohoo !!

    Most of all, stay positive :flowerforyou:
  • GymAnJuice
    GymAnJuice Posts: 512 Member
    great advice so far, it's happened to me and i really would recommend that you still keep logging your food in here, even if it's bad, the support in here made all the difference to me. exercise really made a difference in my attitude too and how about treating yourself (not food related) at the end of the month after a reachable goal? eg. 4lb lose in a month=manicure, hair cut, nail varnish ect. we'r all behind you, im in here everyday so feel free to add me too. hope this helps :flowerforyou:
  • I feel your pain girl! Last year that's how I was... I would do good for a month then the next month I would go back to my old eatting habits...then last year I decided enough was enough. You have to make up in your mind that you are going to remain consistent, Reject unhealthy cravings, set a realistic, workout 2x a day if you can.. work off calories burn not time. I strived to burn no less than 500 cal when I first started out. up your incline and decrease throughout your work out.. interval training is best to burn fat...30mins was not enough for me...people say that too much cardio is not good,.. That's a lieeeee... well, make sure your do strength training with it...

    Also, I got rid of Carbs for a month and thats when I really started seeing a difference. Have a cheat day or 2. that will keep you motivated... see a weekly weight lost goal each week...2-3 lbs... DO NOT weight yourself every day.. do it once a week if that. if you do not loss or if you gain dont get dicourage, go back and look at your food diary for that week. That will tell you what you need to change!!! Try not to focus on the number on the scale too much....have the mindset that you are getting healthy and this is a life style change not just for the wedding....MAke sure that you track EVERY BLT (bit, lick and taste...) every thing has calories. I lost 49lbs and still counting. I gained 72lbs post pregnancy and I was very unhappy and unhealthy!I have a good ways to go..but I will get there...

    GOOD LUCKKK
  • HappyHeart1993
    HappyHeart1993 Posts: 14 Member
    you need to get some definite goals written down so that you know exactly what you want to do and how you want to do it, and when you would like to complete them. Make sure that they are realistic and not crazy difficult, like losing a bunch of weight in like one month. but other than that keep logging your food and be very specific, this has helped me tremendously because it holds me accountable for everything that I am doing.

    I completely agree with this ^^^! I've set not only the long-term goal of my "wish weight", but also short-term ones...like looking better in shorts and a swimsuit this summer (which isn't far off here in Texas!), the day I don't have to use the 200 lb. weight when I step on the scale and so on. Those short-term goals help me stay on track and encourage me. They also give my self-esteem a little boost! You can do this.
  • aaroncharles
    aaroncharles Posts: 2 Member
    My quick suggestions...make your daily work out part of your daily schedule. Set specific time for working out and schedule everything else around that...treat it like you do your job. You always show up for work and on time even if you don't feel like it that particular day. Next make your long term goals and then short term goals to get to your long term. Once you start hitting your short term goals take that motivation and run with it. You'll see the results your looking for. God Bless
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