The "Your getting to skinny" remark

fitrene
fitrene Posts: 52 Member
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
I've lost 20 lbs. and gone from a size 14 to a size 8 and now I'm getting the "your too skinny" comments from some coworkers (and not the over weight ones) and I don't know how to handle them. I'm actually not as thin as I was when I first started working there, but I'm definitely thinner than I was in October of last year when my weight loss started. I plan on losing 5 more lbs, but I'm focusing more on my muscles and body fat percentage and over all measurements, not just the scale since I have put on 4 lbs. of muscle in 4 months (yeah me!)

I'm very pleased with my overall appearance and progress and health, but these comments, though I'm sure they mean well, can be somewhat hurtful.

For now, I just smile and nod, but how would you handle this?
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Replies

  • mg720
    mg720 Posts: 212 Member
    I get this from my mom and my future mother in law ALL THE TIME. I am not sure how to really handle it other than not sharing my goals with them. For example I have lost a little over 70 pounds and I am trying to drop 10 more for my destination wedding in July. I simply keep that to myself and don't share it with them because I don't want to hear the comments. I know I am at a "healthy" weight for my height right now but i would be feel a little more confidant in my bikini in Jamaica if lost the last 10 pounds.
  • amaried621
    amaried621 Posts: 260 Member
    Too skinny to me means when your bones are visible everywhere! It's all about how comfortable you are with your body and just living a healthy lifestyle with good food and exercise. Some people are naturally skinny and eat properly and exercise so just because they are skinny doesn't mean they are unhealthy. As long as you know that what you are doing to your body is good, then who cares what they say!
  • fitrene
    fitrene Posts: 52 Member
    I get this from my mom and my future mother in law ALL THE TIME. I am not sure how to really handle it other than not sharing my goals with them. For example I have lost a little over 70 pounds and I am trying to drop 10 more for my destination wedding in July. I simply keep that to myself and don't share it with them because I don't want to hear the comments. I know I am at a "healthy" weight for my height right now but i would be feel a little more confidant in my bikini in Jamaica if lost the last 10 pounds.

    Congrats on your weight loss and your upcoming wedding! Good luck to you and Jamaica is so beautiful! I went there for my 10 year anniversary and 30th birthday and would love to go back!

    I don't share my goals either. I think if they heard I wanted to lose 5 more pounds they would stage an intervention :)!
  • babipari
    babipari Posts: 18
    I say congrats ! and don't let others dictate how you should look. "Too skinny" usually comes from people who are insecure about their own weight. So feel confident and say thank you next time.
    Just watch out that your bones aren't showing too much, you don't want to look like this:
    is-miss-universe-too-skinny-15597-1240595258-4.jpg
  • MaggiePuccini
    MaggiePuccini Posts: 248 Member
    Don't JUSTIFY your desire to be slim and healthy. They've always been slim and healthy these colleagues of yours? So they've never had to justify it to anybody. Why should you have to justify it?

    So just shrug and say in a bored voice 'you're so skinny too' and then change the subject.
  • fitrene
    fitrene Posts: 52 Member
    Too skinny to me means when your bones are visible everywhere! It's all about how comfortable you are with your body and just living a healthy lifestyle with good food and exercise. Some people are naturally skinny and eat properly and exercise so just because they are skinny doesn't mean they are unhealthy. As long as you know that what you are doing to your body is good, then who cares what they say!

    I 100% agree with you, thanks! I don't like the term skinny. What's funny is according to my bf% I'm still in the unhealthy range despite being a size 8. But when I say something, sometimes I get the answer of "Oh a man must of made up those numbers!" I carry my weight in my hips and thighs so my upper half is very tiny compared to the rest so I can see why they may say I'm too skinny! My face is completely different.

    Anyway.... thanks again. I think I will continue to smile an nod as to not ruffle any feathers :)!
  • MaggiePuccini
    MaggiePuccini Posts: 248 Member
    ps, or, if the won't drop it, you could turn the spotlight back on them. Ask them what their BMI is, ask them what their waist measurement is, what their jean size is.....
  • student94
    student94 Posts: 120 Member
    Are you happier and healthier in your new weight range? If so, just tell them that and don't worry about it.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    They're either...

    A) Genuinely Concerned
    B) Jealous

    What matters is YOU are happy with how you look, and that YOUR health is ok. :)
  • lilfurson
    lilfurson Posts: 190
    I get that a lot as well and I think it mainly stems from them having the image of how you used to look and comparing you to that. I just ignore people who say it now. Until I get to below a normal BMI I'm not "too skinny"
  • caramkoala
    caramkoala Posts: 303 Member
    "And you're getting a bit too judgemental."
  • JamesonsMommy
    JamesonsMommy Posts: 771 Member
    That is probably thier way of offering you a backhanded compliment... Either that or they are jealous :) This is why we are all on MFP.. We get the support here we may not get in everyday life :) Great job on your loss.. Keep kicking butt!!
  • finding_my_way
    finding_my_way Posts: 174 Member
    this is a frustrating experience that I have never had to deal with until recently. I have found that I actually HIDE my weight loss with looser fitting clothes when around some of my family members and close friends. The "you need to stop losing weight" comment really hurts my feelings. It would be awesome to actually get some support for having lost the weight, eating healthy and exercising.
  • AshleyWells86
    AshleyWells86 Posts: 11 Member
    I cant wait for someone to say this to me, I want to go for a run just thinking about it !
  • ludogx87
    ludogx87 Posts: 286 Member
    i would comment to theis my closing all the fingers on my right hand leaving my middle finger extended and turned to face the person who made the remark........
  • ♥Amy♥
    ♥Amy♥ Posts: 714 Member
    I get that a lot as well and I think it mainly stems from them having the image of how you used to look and comparing you to that. I just ignore people who say it now. Until I get to below a normal BMI I'm not "too skinny"

    I agree with this.
    Extended family (that only see me maybe twice a year) tell me that I'm too skinny now and need to stop "dieting." I explain that I'm in the healthy weight range now and I'm just making good food choices and exercising to be healthy, that it's not a diet. I think I could just save my breath, though, because no one really listens to it, LOL.

    Just don't let it get to you, we understand here :)
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
    my family is saying the same thing to me after my current 33 lbs weight loss, which is funny, b/c i am still about 20 lbs heavier than i was when i got married and they never told me i was too skinny back then! i just smile and say thanks and know they are probably concerned simply b/c i LOOK so very different, and to them, they dont' see how hard i'm working-out, they dont' see the energy i'm burning, the muscle i'm building and the HEALTH that i've obtained. :smile:
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    My motto has become...

    Nobody tells a healthy, muscular chick she is too skinny. She could have 2% body fat, and still wont be too skinny. Now, if you don't have much muscle, you can be "too skinny", but you really can't do that without going without adequate protein and overdoing cardio. Because you are going for muscle, you shouldn't become too skinny. :)
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
    My latest trick to combat them is tell them what my body fat percentage is currently and where I want it to be. Shuts em up every time!

    Then I usually end up getting "really! I had no idea, I wonder what mine is?"
  • recriger
    recriger Posts: 245 Member
    ps, or, if the won't drop it, you could turn the spotlight back on them. Ask them what their BMI is, ask them what their waist measurement is, what their jean size is.....

    I like this one! Really there is no point in trying to justify it. I have found that with my family that it isn't even conscious some times. My mother just wants to show that she cares or is concerned. Back in 2003 I was below 10% body fat and that Always came up no matter what we were talking about. then when I went to college and put on a few pounds she said I was getting too big (not in those words). some people just want you to know they are watching.
  • mrsknotts
    mrsknotts Posts: 115
    My coworkers used to do this also. I have a dark sense of humor so I would.play along. If they were ordering take out they would ask if.id like anything, then say 'oh right you dont eat' and id reply 'yeah I brought a piece of lettuce to suck on today. After a wile I think they got the hint that I wasn't going to be phased by their comments
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
    I get that a lot as well and I think it mainly stems from them having the image of how you used to look and comparing you to that. I just ignore people who say it now. Until I get to below a normal BMI I'm not "too skinny"

    ^ this is what I say and think. well said.
  • shanlynt
    shanlynt Posts: 718 Member
    Tbh I'd love to hear someone say that rather than the opposite
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    For now, I just smile and nod, but how would you handle this?
    I do the same (I went from a 12 to a 4 and hear that about once a week at work)...I think these people generally mean well, but don't realize how it sounds to us, so I don't think its satisfying to say anything hurtful back to them...

    Congrats on your success!
  • Ro0kins_Wedding
    Ro0kins_Wedding Posts: 295
    People have told me that I don't need to lose any more weight but I normally refer to my BMI. (Yes I know it's not 100% accurate) and that says I am 22.8 which is in the heathy range. If it was anything below 18.5 then I 'maybe' then I would think I was getting too skinny.
  • mousepaws22
    mousepaws22 Posts: 380 Member
    This is a difficult situation. I would never say to someone that they're getting too skinny, although I might tihnk it, but I wouldn't think it out of jealousy I would think it out of concern. I did work with a girl who had an eating disorder (she did tell me all about it) and I did ask her once if she was OK because I'd noticed she lost weight, but I didn't say I'd noticed she'd lost weight- if that makes sense. I have to be honest though, I don't like the words thin or skinny. I associate them with "too thin", such as that picture someone posted. I know everyone has a different view but I don't like it when I read on posts and profiles "I want to be thin". I'd rather read "I want to be healthy".
  • carpp107
    carpp107 Posts: 99
    Great Topic.....My wife has said this to me in reference to my ribcage and stomach.....I tell her that she's just not used to hugging a really fit person....Also, my Mother is always telling me I'm getting too thin....People are just unaccustomed to seeing me at a low bodyfat % and I think it shocks them a bit....especially people I haven't seen in the last year....almost 90 pounds of blubber lost changes how a person looks and it certainly changes how you feel......for the better!!!!!
  • star87cc
    star87cc Posts: 63
    Some people just comment without even thinking, my fiance's mum said on his slight weight gain 'oh you look better for putting on a few lbs' ... then after a few more she made a comment about him 'putting on too much' and now he's tried to do something about it its 'dont be so ridiculous!' ... *le sigh* you cant always win with everyone lol
  • jamaicanlady
    jamaicanlady Posts: 878 Member
    A coworker of mine always says stuff like this. The last thing was "be careful of losing too much weight, remember you have big breasts". Pissed me off! I know it's jealousy though because we both had babies "recently", me 1.5 years ago and she a year ago and she's doing absolutely nothing to get the weight off and obviously feels bad about it so she tries to put down what I'm doing. I try not to let it bother me though by picturing how she'll look when I've achieved my dream body.
  • Amy_B
    Amy_B Posts: 2,317 Member
    I get that a lot as well and I think it mainly stems from them having the image of how you used to look and comparing you to that. I just ignore people who say it now. Until I get to below a normal BMI I'm not "too skinny"
    Same thing here.


    I also think it might be a bit of jealousy. :smile:
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