Floating poop leads to weight loss

I hope posting pics of peoples poop doesn't become a trend on this website!

I hope posting pics of peoples poop doesn't become a trend on this website!

Hilarious! Please don't!

The second I see the name "Dr. Oz" in an article I stop reading.

Don't know if the calcium thing is new or not, but they've known for a while floating poop is a good thing. About 20 years ago during the lecture portion of a required health class at my college they talked about it. The only thing I remembered was the guy who gave the lecture (not our regular prof) saying "fluffy floaters are an endangered feeces":laugh:

I GOT A FLOATER!!!

ROFL

CELIAC DISEASE SYMPTOMS: http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/celiac-disease/celiac-disease-symptoms

The Poop Name List

The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?" you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.

The Latrine Dump - In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.

The Mona Lisa Dump - This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say "Where are the curtains?" Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash Back Dump - You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed.
Tip: Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump - You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do

The Caesarian Dump - Pain, that's what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there's no obstetrician to help.

The Alfresco Dump - Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump - This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:

1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.

The Tijuana Trot Dump - The phrase "*kitten* Happens" really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never had a navy.

The Machine Gun Dump - You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall hits the floor like a combat veteran cradling his umbrella like an M16...damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump - You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try the following sound effects:

1. Flush the toilet
2. Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem
3. Drop a handful of quarters on the floor

The Security Dump - You have enough on your mind when you're in the bathroom without worrying about a lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. If you can't reach to do this...hum loudly

The Cling-On Dump - For the most part you've completed your dump, but there's one little morsel that refuses to drop off. You're getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors

The Houdini Dump - You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where'd it go? Did it creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you wipe...maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? you'd better, because if you don't, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in

The Flu Dump - You feel so bad that you don't know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again...up down up down. Don't you wish Mom were close by?

The Porta-Pottie Dump - Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. My best description would be, "Its like taking a **** in an upright coffin". Its claustrophobic and it smells bad...best advice...go in a paper cup.

The Proctologist Dump - In the beginning, the lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he didn't create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it, you run out of gas. That's right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there like a lump of lead. You've only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??

The Whole Roll Dump - No matter how much you wipe, it doesn't seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.

The Graffiti Dump - You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the curlicue hangs there...love it or leave it. Its your choice.

The Encore Dump - Ahhhh, you're done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain call. The world's record is seven encores.

The Born Again Dump - This is a dump that's going so badly, you say "Lord, if I live through this, I'll take up religion" you always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because a born again dump is like childbirth...you forget the pain quickly.

Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain.

Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out

Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

Gas-sy Poopie
The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!

Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie
That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.

Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie
The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper Class Poopie
The kind of Poopie that doesn't smell.

The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!

The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

Fisherman's Bobber Poopie
You are in a public restroom with two people waiting on your stall, you poopie and flush two times, but several golfball pieces are still floating above the water line.

The Stolen Poopie
The poopie you take at a techy toilet, with an automatic flush, that is flushed so quick that when you whirl around to see the poopie you worked so hard for, you are left with a violated and un-satisfied feeling. you never got to see that poopie.

(copied and pasted from a funny web site)

Floating poop is one of the biggest early warning signs of pancreatic cancer. It is also a sign of gallbladder disease. I had my gallbladder removed 6 years ago and my inability to properly digest all of the fat I consume did not help me lose even an ounce of weight. To make much of a difference it's gonna have to be drastic, like taking Alli or something. Then you have to worry about pooping yourself and anal leakage. Ewwww.

Interesting. My coworker had her gallbladder out last spring. She recently started an eating plan similar to the Paleo diet and has lost 15 pounds in about 2 months...I don't know that much about what she's doing but it's definitely working for her, even without a gallbladder

I had mine out last December. While I was still working to lose weight last summer, I had to switch to a lower carb approach to lose weight, as well.

One thing to add for those who are considering a calcium supplement: don't bother with pills. For the most part, your body doesn't absorb them. (In other words, if you're watching your poop, you may see a whole calcium pill in there somewhere!) Either eat or drink dairy products or use something like Viactiv, which is a chew.

Really I had to wipe the mascarra off my face as I laughed so hard there were tears. Thanks.

I actually heard the opposite, though I will have to look up the study again. I heard the more protein you have in your diet then your waste is more likely to sink.

I guess maybe it just depends on what your goals are... I'd rather have a high protein diet then one that is high in fat.

Either way, I have quite a large list of other factors to judge my weight loss on before turning to the toilet...

It really just depends on what you are passing. If you eat a low fat diet, the poo isn't going to float! In fact, a fiber-dense, water dense diet will often make them sink, but it's not a bad thing.
My understanding is that effort to make said poo leave your body is a better indicator in many ways than whether it floats or not. It shouldn't hurt, nor should you have to push hard to go. The kind of poo experience you want is one where you have to go, you go in, sit on the john, maybe give a little kickstart, and it feels tiny, but when you look (as we all know we do!) it's a surprisingly bulky food baby. Consistency and effort are two big signs regarding health.
I would hate to see people in essence overdosing on calcium because their poo still won't float! Just based on this advice alone... They should be regularly timed and easy to pass. If you struggle to pass BMs, you need to up your water, particularly if you are already at your fiber goals. If you exceed your fiber goals and can't take in much water, you'll want to scale back because there is such a thing as too much. AT LEAST once a day, if not a couple times (as long as regular and not sickly) is good, and will indeed happen after you monitor and regulate your fiber.

Anyway, I'm like many other people, I completely ignore Dr. Oz. I hear too many fad-tastic things about him! I don't even know what he looks like! The only TV show about health that has ever helped me was The Doctors, and that was because they addressed a rare condition that I had been dealing with but didn't know there were others.

My doctor told me months ago our bodies usually burns fat and does not poop it out. He explained that when the body does poop fat and other toxins out, is when we our burning to much fat for our bodies to keep up with. So he told us if we ever come across a yellow stool not to be alarmed. He said there was evidence of fat in yellow stools. The doctor I am going to treats diseases like diabetes, people who are obese and he does weight loss surgeries as well. He has so much awesome information in his office. I don't know anything about Dr. OZ. Other then famous people seem to rant about him. I have only heard mixed things about him when hearing his name.

Also my doctor said cabbage was great for us in helping us lose weight. I tried it and sure enough! I always thought my grandma was crazy when doing a home made veggie soup with no meat with lots of cabbage, when she would be on a diet. I guess some of the back in the day methods did work. I always heard gas is what makes poop float. As will as it can be a sign of cancer or gallbladder problems.

What if it goes 'clink?'

I dont know about you, but for me thats usually just my nuts hitting the edge of the bowl.

Hahaha, maybe you lost your keys..............

Don't laugh but I just downloaded an app to track this today. I have basically IBS for 12 years because nobody has bothered to figure it out.

You need to eat more fiber. The first time I was told to eat more fiber I thought that person was CRAZY!! I thought it would make more go more. Then I discussed it with my Dr and he explained that fiber will absorb the excess liquid and help make it more solid and easier to control. I increased my fiber and it totally is better. I can always tell when I've let my fiber intake get to low, and it's miserable!