I think I'm getting a bit too Obsessed.. D:

I'm wondering, am I getting a little too obsessed about my figure and my looks? In the end, do the looks really matter? I know they say that looks don't last... but the way I think of it, I'd like to look my best while I still HAVE my looks.

Is there anyone else experiencing these same feelings? I would love to hear anyone's thoughts and opinions~

I'm a costume designer for theater, and I've seen all kinds of body types (I've been doin it for 15 years). Every type can be beautiful --what I've found to be the key is people who are comfortable with themselves, whatever shape they are. I've seen size 20+ women who are beautiful because they dwell well in their skin (even if they want to lose some weight). And I've seen size 0 people with bodies that would be considered the "fashion ideal" who constantly gripe and complain about the way they look in clothes, because they feel uncomfortable in their skin.

This comes to mind because I'm working with an amazing performer right now. She's in her 40s and has a good figure (~6-8) -- some flabby bits here and there, but overall a nice shape. But the thing that makes her look fabulous, and downright sexy is her body confidence. This role requires her to look like she's trying to hard to be young and hot (mutton dressed as lamb). Everything's supposed to be too tight, too bright, and showing her underwear most of the time. And she's coming to me to find ways we can make her look MORE "sausaged" in her clothes, how we can get her belly to roll (even though it naturally doesn't), putting on too tight bras so we can get some back rolls, smashing herself into tops that wouldn't fit a 4 year old. And the whole time she's radiating comfort with herself -- even while being in a profession that is so much about appearances. If you're saying to yourself, of course she is -- it's just the part. That's not necessarily the case -- I've worked with a ton of (professional) actors and actresses that continually push to look at good as they can, even when the role calls for them to be unattractive. (aka -- they just want to be the beautiful girl in ugly glasses, not actually look ugly).

A long way of saying-- maybe now is a good time to take a break from working on your weight, to getting comfortable where you are. What makes you feel beautiful internally? What gives you inner strength or inner peace? How can you cultivate the positive, loving voice in your head (and put the negative internal and external voices on a diet)?

I can relate. I certainly had those feelings of self loathing and that's what got me to start losing weight. I became very obsessive and my weight loss habits began to get unhealthy. It took a lot of soul searching to recover from eating around 300 Cal a day to 1200. I think that you must address the reasons you are self loathing and address all problems then start dieting because there's a difference between wanting to get healthy and wanting to change the way you look. There's nothing wrong with being obsessed with a healthy lifestyle however, until you see that youre beautiful in every way, shape, and form (which you are), your obsession may be or may be becoming unhealthy.

You can definitely become obsessed with a healthy lifestyle. It's not clinically accepted by everyone, but orthorexia is rampant. It's kind of like this: an anorexic person watches their calories and will eat a Lean Cuisine because it's low in calories, but an orthorexic person won't eat the Lean Cuisine because it's high in sodium, and eventually they just won't eat at all because things are too 'unhealthy,' and they'd rather not eat than subject their body to unhealthiness (kind of like an anorexic person won't eat because they don't want to subject themselves to calories--I know the Lean Cuisine thing sounded counterintuitive, but I was just using as an example for orthorexia). It doesn't always happen like that, but it can and it does.