Definitely Need Some Support & Motivation!

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AshleyVeronica
AshleyVeronica Posts: 69 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am feeling so trapped. I am sure I am not the only one, but whenever I see a thin and beautiful girl my age all dressed up and out at the bar with her girlfriends, I get so depressed. I am a girly girl, and if it weren't for my weight, I would love to be caught always wearing cute dresses and heels. Ever hear of the term "fat chance"? I bet it comes from the idea of a fat person's chances of finding something hot to wear. On the "slim chance" you do actually find something...of course it doesn't look good or fit in all the right places. Not to mention all the skinny girls get to share clothes on top of their already large wardrobe. No wonder they can look so stylish at all times. I mean, obviously not ALL thin girls are fashionable and not all large girls aren't...but I am referring specifically to those sex kitten-ish girls that are thin, and the majority of larger women. I am so sick of this.
I feel like the real me is stuck inside this fat shell and nobody will ever get to know how fabulous I really am! My boyfriend was recently talking about one of his long time girl friends and saying the reason we probably don't talk much ourselves is because we have nothing in common. All I can see that we don't share in common is the fact that she is one of "those" girls who is always dressing up and partying with her friends, while I am always frumpy and staying home with our son. I know he didn't mean to be insulting or anything, but come on. It hurts because that kind of girl IS me...she just isn't ever allowed out to play.
I need to lose this weight. I keep thinking about how by the time I ever lose any (if ever) I will be too old for it to be appropriate to go out and sip on martinis and wear sexy dresses and have fun (Let's be realistic...unless you're in the cast of Sex and the City it's not likely that people will be like that when they are middle aged.)
I feel like I am missing out on MY life.
I try and try and no matter how much I work out, or how well I eat, I never seem to lose a pound or an inch! I feel like something is wrong with me...like I am sick. At one point I was working out every day an hour cardio, hour weights and eating a healthy vegetarian diet. My mom who was only doing the diet and going for hour long walks each day dropped a significant amount of weight...I lost NONE. Nothing at all!
I don't know what to do anymore and I feel so helpless and disgusting and since I only have one friend really who is "fat" and could understand and talk to me about it, and she has problems with bulemia so she rightfully so refuses to discuss anything regarding weight in fear it will trigger her bad behaviour, I have nobody to talk to. My skinny friends just don't get it, and quite frankly I doubt they even care. So could someone here please help me out with some support?!

Replies

  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
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    I am feeling so trapped. I am sure I am not the only one, but whenever I see a thin and beautiful girl my age all dressed up and out at the bar with her girlfriends, I get so depressed. I am a girly girl, and if it weren't for my weight, I would love to be caught always wearing cute dresses and heels. Ever hear of the term "fat chance"? I bet it comes from the idea of a fat person's chances of finding something hot to wear. On the "slim chance" you do actually find something...of course it doesn't look good or fit in all the right places. Not to mention all the skinny girls get to share clothes on top of their already large wardrobe. No wonder they can look so stylish at all times. I mean, obviously not ALL thin girls are fashionable and not all large girls aren't...but I am referring specifically to those sex kitten-ish girls that are thin, and the majority of larger women. I am so sick of this.
    I feel like the real me is stuck inside this fat shell and nobody will ever get to know how fabulous I really am! My boyfriend was recently talking about one of his long time girl friends and saying the reason we probably don't talk much ourselves is because we have nothing in common. All I can see that we don't share in common is the fact that she is one of "those" girls who is always dressing up and partying with her friends, while I am always frumpy and staying home with our son. I know he didn't mean to be insulting or anything, but come on. It hurts because that kind of girl IS me...she just isn't ever allowed out to play.
    I need to lose this weight. I keep thinking about how by the time I ever lose any (if ever) I will be too old for it to be appropriate to go out and sip on martinis and wear sexy dresses and have fun (Let's be realistic...unless you're in the cast of Sex and the City it's not likely that people will be like that when they are middle aged.)
    I feel like I am missing out on MY life.
    I try and try and no matter how much I work out, or how well I eat, I never seem to lose a pound or an inch! I feel like something is wrong with me...like I am sick. At one point I was working out every day an hour cardio, hour weights and eating a healthy vegetarian diet. My mom who was only doing the diet and going for hour long walks each day dropped a significant amount of weight...I lost NONE. Nothing at all!
    I don't know what to do anymore and I feel so helpless and disgusting and since I only have one friend really who is "fat" and could understand and talk to me about it, and she has problems with bulemia so she rightfully so refuses to discuss anything regarding weight in fear it will trigger her bad behaviour, I have nobody to talk to. My skinny friends just don't get it, and quite frankly I doubt they even care. So could someone here please help me out with some support?!


    Sounds like you're really down on yourself Ashley! I'm so sorry you're feeling the way that you do!
    There are LOADS of us here though at MFP who have also dealt with depression over the way we look. So, you're DEFINITELY NOT alone!
    One of the things that you could do is have your thyroid checked. That COULD be part of the reason that you can't lose any weight, no matter how hard you try. I'd have it checked, and then, if it's NOT that, then you just need to be really honest with every mouthful of food that you're putting into your mouth, and record faithfully in your food diary. And DON'T make the mistake that if you save LOTS of numbers every day that you'll lose that much faster, because, you WON'T! You need to "work with your numbers" and if it's NOT your thyroid, or some other issue that the Dr. finds, then you WILL eventually start losing weight. Maybe then, you'll start feeling better about yourself! :smile:
  • Kidvicious28
    Kidvicious28 Posts: 1,613 Member
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    I can honestly say I feel the way you do sometimes. Obviously I don't know exactly how you feel and what you're going through but I've been thinking a lot about the same things. I'm 25 years old and I don't do anything fun (like what you mentioned) I don't own any cute outfits because I'm fat. It is depressing, I completely agree with you.

    The only advice I can give you is...keep your chin up. Those girls might be thinner than us but how do you know they have brains and personality? They might JUST have the looks and that's it. I can just tell from your thread that you seem like a smart and caring person. Don't be so hard on yourself.
    Try changing up your routine. You don't need to workout for more than an hour a day. It's not necessary. When you exercise, try interval training or circuit training. If you'd like I can help you with an exercise plan and look over what all your eating. One of the guys on here helped me out A LOT and showed me what to do and what to change when I plateaued. I'd be more than welcome to help you out. Send me a PM and we'll talk.
  • kimgibbons
    kimgibbons Posts: 39 Member
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    I feel for you. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are trapped and will never change. I have a suggestion for you for a program, it's not easy (at first it will likely feel impossible) but I GUARENTEE you if you follow it for 90 days you WILL completely change your body. It is called P90x and it is available from Beachbody.com or you can buy it at some stores too. The most important part of the program is following the nutrition plan and that part is actually easy because you just eat exactly what they say in the book. There are several other programs from beachbody that you could try, most are the same 90 day type thing. I have done P90x twice and now am doing Chalean Extreme. I promise you no matter what kind of body you have you will change and you will look amazing. I wish you the BEST of luck!
  • SLIMpossible
    SLIMpossible Posts: 8
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    Definitely have your physician order a complete blood workup, with an emphasis on your thyroid. Record your foods religiously - every bite!! - and add some 30 second "wind sprints" to your cardio routine, meaning go at a pace for 5 or 6 minutes that is fairly comfortable, then WHAM! Go full out for 30 seconds as if you're being chased by a lion. Then drop it back down to the more comfortable pace for another 5 or 6 minutes before hitting the sprint again.

    Gaining muscle is KEY...the more muscle you can put on, the more you will rev up your metabolism. Lift enough weight (in good form!), so that you can complete 10 repetitions where the 8th and 9th rep are HARD, and the 11th rep just isn't in you. Good form, good form, good form. If you aren't sure about form, get with a personal trainer at least one time to show you the basics.

    You can bring out the gorgeous sexy girl that you really are - it's in there. Just keep peeling away the layers, hang tough, and focus. Don't look around at everyone else wondering why you can't be like them - look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are going to be the BEST that YOU can be!

    You CAN DO IT !!!
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    We're definitely kindred spirits, and your post reads exactly like what plays over and over in my head. I just turned 36, and I feel like I wasted my good years by being fat. It's quite depressing when I think that I've completely ruined my body, and it will never look as good as it could have if I had never been big. I have no wardrobe right now because, basically, nothing fits me. Pennington's is the only store I can shop at, and even there nothing fits right. I love fashion, and it's one of my biggest motivations to lose weight.

    ____

    Have a checkup with your doctor, and get him/her to do some bloodwork for you- just to make sure everything's ok. If you find out that everything is good health-wise, then you know you just have to make some changes with diet and exercise. Follow the MFP guidelines, and the weight will come off.

    Good luck. :)
  • christahollis
    christahollis Posts: 152
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    I worked-out aggressively for a YEAR...yeah...a YEAR. An hour of cardio a day, usually running (one day off weekly). Supe-careful vegetarian diet. Lifting 3x weekly. A YEAR!
    And in a year...I'd dropped LESS THAN 10 POUNDS!
    Everyone, even my doctor, looked at me like I was a "big fat liar" when I said I worked out...because obviously, I should have been losing some weight, right?

    That's when I demanded a thyroid test (as I had other problems, tired all the time, dry hair, skin, and nails that wouldn't grow, the whole thing).
    Turns out I was hypothyroid, so we tried synthroid. Was on that a YEAR...continued my workouts because they'd become part of my routine...
    And in that second year...I'd dropped only 20 POUNDS.
    My doctor kept increasing my synthroid, but it just didn't work for my symptoms or getting my metabolism up and running.
    And I was still treated like I was full of crapola when I 'claimed' to work out and eat a careful diet.

    Then I insisted that I wanted to try Armor thyroid.
    Since January...I have lost 45 POUNDS! And I finally feel like a normal person--I still do my workouts, eat a careful diet...and I wouldn't say that it's easy...
    But the difference between having hypothyroidism and being properly medicated...and not is a revolution in my life.

    Long story short...When was the last time you had your blood work done? Many (many many) women become hypothyroid after pregnancy, and the establishment isn't sure why this happens. But if you're just not losing...and really doing that work...you should look into it.
  • AshleyVeronica
    AshleyVeronica Posts: 69 Member
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    I had been tested for thyroid problems in the past a couple of times at least and nothing ever came up that I had any issues. My son is 14 months old though so if it is possible to get it post partum than maybe it is the case...but it wouldn't explain the issues in the past so I don't know. I do see my doctor on Wednesday so I will ask about it again. I swear there is an issue with my health though in regards to that. I also have ALWAYS had acne problems. They certainly aren't as bad as when I was younger and when I was pregnant, but they are still worth noting. My hair is always dry too (maybe just because I am a red head lol). I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia when I was 18 but for the most part I don't feel like I even have it! I don't suffer as much as most people do who have it. But I do get the aches and pains from time to time and I am ALWAYS tired (especially since my baby...but duh).
    I guess all I can do it keep trying and maybe one day my life will work in my favour and I will lose some of this dreaded weight!!

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