Why are you / Why were you fat?

Because I ate the typical high unhealthy fat, high processed carb standard American diet. Now, I eat natural healthy fats and minimal processed carbs and minimal natural sugars and starches.

I've lost 56 lbs and feel AMAZING (within 4 weeks of starting to eat this way).

Oh yeah, and I exercise less (primarily do only strength-training now) than before I changed my way of eating.

It finally all clicked for me.

Level 45 eater with secondary Couch Potato class (level 44)

I come equipped with the Remote of Speedy Surfing +4 and Chip Bag of Holding

Level 45 eater with secondary Couch Potato class (level 44)

I come equipped with the Remote of Speedy Surfing +4 and Chip Bag of Holding

My gaming family loved this!

I got fat because I had an eating disorder as a teen and still struggle with it.

I unfortunately have always been overweight. Even when I was born they said I looked like a chipmunk storing food in its mouth, my cheeks were so fat. I also had tons of deep rolls, it looks like I had rubber bands on my arms and legs. Never have I been thin or even average. Honestly, I think genes have a lot to do with it, but I'm still trying to stay strong, eat healthy, and exercise!

I don't mean to imply any of this is simple or straightforward, but for me it boils down to not loving yourself enough to know that you're worthy of care. I would always prioritize other peoples needs above my own. I used to believe that making other people happy ultimately made me happy, but really all it did was allow me to avoid my own feelings. By thinking about everyone else, I didn't have the time or energy to think about me, much less make myself and my health, both mental and physical, important and worthy of attention. As I continued to gain weight, all through high school, college and adult life it became a perpetual cycle of unhappiness and avoidance. The more I gained, the more I hated myself. The more I hated myself, the more I would shut out the rest of the world. The more I would shut out, the more I would eat to try to battle the loneliness that lived inside my heart and soul. I defined my likeability by being married to a funny guy. People liked us, but I was convinced it was because of him. Nobody liked me, but they all loved Ben. I even believed it about my own family. So my self worth continued to deteriorate. Shortly after the birth of my son in 2004, I was at my highest weight of355 lbs. I literally hated myself. We moved to a small town in Michigan which ended up causing more stress than ever. My weight continued to grow until I reached 375. I was desperate for help but couldn't get control. I began considering bariatric surgery. I was terrified of the thought but was more terrified of my future, or lack of if I continued on this path. I had 200 lbs to lose. To even think of that number was heartbreaking to me. Those are the times when my demons would tell me I couldn't do it. In 2009, I found out my husband was having an affair. My entire world was destroyed in an instant. He left the next morning to give us both time and space to think and as I was laying in bed facing the end of a 15 year relationship, I realized how truly alone I was. I had built so many walls around myself that I had no one to turn to for help in my darkest hour. While I didn't know what my future was going to be or who would be in it, I knew the one thing I would always have is myself. That person I hated for so long, the person I tried to silence with food, was actually the only person I could count on. I realized I needed to start focusing on what SHE needs for once. This wasn't an overnight revelation, but I learned the lesson. I also didn't blame my husband entirely for the affair. I was a miserable person. I let my weight dictate everything and it usually resulted in mental, physical, sexual, and social withdrawal. I isolated myself from everything because I thought it would be easier that way. I blamed him for not talking to me, and I blamed him for his lack of conscience in that moment, but I also knew for months how sick our marriage was and did nothing to try to fix it either. I made the very hard decision to forgive him and work on us, but also promised myself that I would no longer sacrifice myself. It still took me a while to stabilize both emotionally and spiritually, but each day I got a little better, and allowed myself to open up my heart to other people. I started to discover who I was as a woman, and I became empowered as I learned that I was actually a smart, funny, compassionate person all on my own...not only when with my husband. Once the mental well being improved, I was ready for the physical to catch up. The surgery became my goal, but there was still a shame that I felt by considering it. Even though it was obvious to everyone that I was morbidly obese, I didn't talk about my weight with ANYONE. EVER. Another example of avoidance, I suppose. Having the surgery would force me to acknowledge what I didn't want to believe for 25 years. Instead of allowing that to paralyze me anymore, I decided that facing the truth may just set me free. But I didn't know how to start. I decided to schedule the consult with the surgeon and then I would figure the rest out as I went. Then a funny, random, innocent phone call came during work one day. It was one of my doctors (I manage a doc's office), who I happened to be getting closer with and was becoming a good friend to me. I had shared details about the affair with very few people but he had somehow turned into one of my confidants. As we were talking that day, he mentioned he was dieting, and then said we should do a challenge. Because that involved talking about my weight, my first inclination was to shut down...but in light of my new goals, I decided to move a little more forward in the conversation to push my comfort level further. He said to me "and I don't care how you lose it...even surgery". For some unknown reason, I told him I had already decided to do that. And there it was, without overthinking it, I just told the first person that I was having weight loss surgery....and shockingly, sharing that information didn't actually kill me. So the journey began. I had the RNY surgery on June 29th, 2011. I weighed 365lbs at my preop appt. Today, nearly 8 months later, I've lost 125 lbs and I'm still going. I want to lose another 75 lbs, and for the first time ever, I believe in myself enough to know I can do it. A year after that important phone call, that same friend challenged me in a weight loss competition again. My reaction was an immediate yes. The fear was subsiding...I no longer feared talking about weight loss. I no longer felt defined by it. Instead, over the last year, I learned that I am so much more than "fat". May seem silly to others, but that realization was huge for me. This weight loss challenge is what brought me to "my fitness pal", and it's something I plan to use long after I've reached my goal. This is not about attaining a certain number, it's about leading a healthy lifestyle and to always know that I am worthy of attention, love, friendship, and respect. Even if I stopped losing weight today, the lessons I have learned along the way are so much more valuable than seeing a certain number on the scale. P.S. If you can see this, CS, now you finally have the answer to that question you've been hounding me about. Guess that means I'm healing.

I could blame abuse, depression, being a busy mom, or any number of other factors, but I won't.

The fact is that I did not take care of my body and that is why I was fat.

I changed that - despite the abuse, depression, etc. - and now am fit and healthy.

It basically just boils down to how we choose to treat our bodies.

My weight gain came from quitting smoking after 35 yrs!! and i loved smoking!!

I got up to 680 due to not caring about eating. Parents were abusive, I didn't care. Id figured Id get so fat that i would die. Then I saw how unhappy it my my gramma.

Many, many reasons, I suppose.

I grew up in a home where food that "sticks to yer ribs" was a staple at every meal.

I grew up in the south, where food without butter, sugar, and lard was unheard of.

Our food, while extremely fattening, was rationed because there were many mouth to feed. I guess subconsciously, this impacted me more than I realized while growing up, because as an adult, if I wanted seconds, I gave myself seconds, and thirds....

I was forced to clean my plate at every meal as a child...and that's a HUGE habit I am still dealing with today.

Being able to buy food when I want in the amount I want assures my psyche that I have succeeded in life.

I love greasy, fatty, comfort food that comforts me. Period.

I use overeating as an excuse for not dealing with my anxieties over my husband's health (he has cancer).

Big one: I hate exercise. I'm not lazy; I'm a nurse and work long days...I just really hate exercise. I'm trying not to, though.

There really is no way to end this list except to say that I never thought I had any "emotional hang ups" where food was concerned...I told myself I just loved to eat. Only after examining myself lately have I realized how much my overeating was emotionally driven.

I was thin in highschool and my weight would go up a little bit but i would control it by not eating. bad, bad, bad

i had and still have a fast food and junk food addiction.

I got pregnant with my first kid and used it as an excuse to eat whatever i want, especially carbs, junk food, fast food and ICE CREAM

I have spent the last 16 years fighting to get the extra 100 lbs i put on that pregnancy doing lots of different diets (seriously i could fill up an entire page with a list of them).

I still fight the urge to run into Del Taco, or go get an entire gallon of peanut butter chocolate ice cream, but got tired of feeling yucky and miserable.

Hmm let's see, other than not caring my contributing factors:

Depressed, abused, divorced, back at home with my parents at 23 - oh and for good measure found out I was pregnant. So food was my friend.

College ---> stress eating and lack of exercise. =(

I had my first child.

I have no excuse, I can't even say that I've had kids. I love to cook and I love to eat. When it came to good food...I was impulsive and ate whatever was tasty. I gained my weight over a period of ten years and now I've finally controlled it. I still love to cook and eat but now it's all healthy and I actually care about what I put in my body. I haven't had a soda in 6 months and the only "fast food" I've had has been subway(fresh fit menu). We can overcome obesity!!!

KIDS
i started out at
2003-118lbs pre-1st baby(size 7)
2003-130lbs post-1st baby (size 9)
2005-2006 FOOD-WENT FROM 130LBS TO 160LBS IN 13 MONTHS
2006-160lbs pre 2nd baby(size 11)
2007-170lbs post 2nd baby(size 11/13)
2009-175lbs pre 3rd baby(size 11/13)
2010-192lbs post-3rd baby (size 15)
2012-185lbs and still losing (size 13 strechy/15 normal but a little big)