Do you reward your kid with food?

30yearssincebikini
30yearssincebikini Posts: 261
edited November 11 in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, so I was on here a few days ago and saw a post from someone confessing that they ate all of the "reward" m&m's that were meant for their baby while learning to potty train.

First, I would like to say that if this poster sees this, I am not judging you for rewarding your baby with candy. Everyone has different thoughts on this.

My thought is that food addictions and emotional eating are started this way. I was once at my very obese sister in law's house back when my babies were small, and when my 18 month old started crying about something, my sister in law picked her up, went straight to the kitchen, reached for the cookies and gave my daughter one. Instant quiet. I guess many parents feel that the main thing is to shut the kid up, but I was appalled. I didn't want to make a scene, so I said nothing, but when my daughter cried, I usually would pick her up and distract her with something, not feed her face.

So to anyone who rewards their kids with food, and suffers from emotional eating/addiction to food, unless you want your child to go through the same problems that you are having, I suggest you reward them with other things.

Just a thought.
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Replies

  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    I reward my children for living another year with cake.
  • ImaSongbird
    ImaSongbird Posts: 126 Member
    I absoutely reward my kids with food!! However, since they're 23 and 24, it doesn't seem like much of an issue. :happy:

    Seriously though, I *did* use food when they were little, and they've turned out to be lovely young adults...
  • ImaSongbird
    ImaSongbird Posts: 126 Member
    I reward my children for living another year with cake.
    LOL
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    We did Mike & Ikes for potty training. I REALLY don't think it's that big of a deal. But no, cookies shouldn't be use to comfort.
  • 30yearssincebikini
    30yearssincebikini Posts: 261
    Haha, well, that's different I suppose. My kids weren't THAT deprived! Special occasions should be celebrated with forbidden food, I think that's why they are so much fun! But I don't think that would develop lifelong habits of craving sweets/junk, unless it was given to them to make them feel better or as a reward on a regular basis.
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
    My husband's family does that. Anytime my kids cried.. they MUST need a bottle (when they were babies)
    Now, they give them handfulls of candy/treats upon completion of a meal. I ration them out, some now.. some for later... and my mother in law looks at me like I am just EVIL.

    My daughter barely eats. So just getting her to complete a meal is a task (she is 4) Let alone trying to get her to gain weight (she is underweight by a bit lol) without feeding her crap is hard too. I don't want to give her the complex of over eating just to get her to not be so thin right now.. but she is healthy. So I am trying REALLY hard to not push food. If she doesn't want to eat, she doesn't eat. But I don't cater to her special meals etc.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    Haha, well, that's different I suppose. My kids weren't THAT deprived! Special occasions should be celebrated with forbidden food, I think that's why they are so much fun! But I don't think that would develop lifelong habits of craving sweets/junk, unless it was given to them to make them feel better or as a reward on a regular basis.

    There are no "forbidden foods" in my house. I just teach my kids to have a little common sense.
  • tsh0ck
    tsh0ck Posts: 1,970 Member
    Haha, well, that's different I suppose. My kids weren't THAT deprived! Special occasions should be celebrated with forbidden food, I think that's why they are so much fun! But I don't think that would develop lifelong habits of craving sweets/junk, unless it was given to them to make them feel better or as a reward on a regular basis.

    There are no "forbidden foods" in my house. I just teach my kids to have a little common sense.

    Yeah, but sensibility isn't allowed. And that birthday cake needs to be changed to tofu immediately. Otherwise you will single-handedly destroy the entire future generation.
  • JGT2004
    JGT2004 Posts: 231 Member
    I have a kindergartener and I admit I used to use food for a reward. Knowing my own issues with food I don't want to push the same onto my son. At first I switched to doing fun things but it got to be where we were CONSTANTLY doing "fun" things like going to the park, buying a new toy, going to LegoLand, or going to the movies. This quickly got too expensive and the size of the rewards became incongruent to the actions he was doing to earn them. (Ie behave 3 out of 5 days at school and we can go to the movies & get popcorn!).

    I have since converted to a marble jar and it works amazingly well. I bought colorful marbles and a smallish clear jar at the $1 store. When he does something good he gets a marble (putting his dishes in the sink without me reminding him, getting a sticker for a good day at school, helping me with chores on the weekend, or even if I catch him using his manners several times during the day without needing reminding). Once he fills up the jar we get to do a fun day and I usually let him pick (roller skating, movies, legoland, etc.) This takes him longer to earn his reward and I feel, at this age, he understands this better than simply getting $ for chores or behaving well. He also loses marbles if he misbehaves at school or doesn't listen. This has also prevented the sugar induced bad behavior from too many "rewards" (used to use sno-cones, ice cream, cookies, etc!)
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    I use food as a reward sometimes, but not consistently. But I do limit candy, pop, etc and try and have healthy snacks around. To me its about balance. My kids know I'm trying to be healthier, they are active and I can't wait to run with them this summer. IMO its about balance
  • Catjag
    Catjag Posts: 107
    When my daughter behaves at the store she is rewarded with picking out her very own apple. She loves this!
  • LavaDoll
    LavaDoll Posts: 595 Member
    When my daughter behaves at the store she is rewarded with picking out her very own apple. She loves this!

    ^ ^ brilliant!
  • shaycat
    shaycat Posts: 980
    We do candy as a reward and I dont really like it. I am really trying to move away from it, but it is hard.
    We are doing the marbles and that seems to be working well. I do not give her food to comfort her at all.
  • tatertotfishstick
    tatertotfishstick Posts: 91 Member
    I let my 4 year old pick her own reward. At her preschool they read a book each week and she gets to pick something fun if she gets her sticker that week... sometimes it's a fun snack or ice cream and other times it's getting to sleep with mommy or go to the park... I don't make a big deal out of it. It's whatever she thinks she wants that week. I don't steer her towards a food treat or away from it. It's a non issue. My issues with food are not her issues. Sometimes a kid just wants an ice cream cone for a job well done. It's not an everyday thing.
  • mama2shi
    mama2shi Posts: 300 Member
    I reward my children for living another year with cake.

    ^^ lol
  • muddyventures
    muddyventures Posts: 360 Member
    it has never been a habit, but during the summer we get icecream every wednesday at mcd's. I will reward them with a craft item or the like, I'm actually trying to get away from that.
  • muddyventures
    muddyventures Posts: 360 Member
    When my daughter behaves at the store she is rewarded with picking out her very own apple. She loves this!

    This is fabulous!
  • SueD66
    SueD66 Posts: 405 Member
    I chose not to do this as i soo did not want my kids to go down the same road i did with my weight. that said.. i am guilty of cooking a big ol meat, taters, gravy, veggie and dessert meal when they come home.
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,226 Member
    My kids are almost 13 and 5 food doesn't work with them.....I bribe them in other ways :tongue:
  • tatertotfishstick
    tatertotfishstick Posts: 91 Member
    I reward my children for living another year with cake.

    love this!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I totally bribed my older son to toilet train using chocolate buttons. He was 3 and 2 months, perfectly old enough, and capable of using the loo, but he was a lazy little so and so, and just couldn't be bothered. Using an incentive for a few weeks just got him in the habit.

    I suppose I do use food as a reward in other ways too. Not giving them sweets, but I do tell them we'll go for pizza or dim sum if they are well behaved while we are out. If they aren't well behaved we'll just go home and have something less exciting for lunch.

    Edit - no one in my family has ever had weight issues so it isn't something I see as a problem.
  • sjschewlakow
    sjschewlakow Posts: 120 Member
    I homeschool. That said, my oldest even though math is easy for him will spend 1-2 hours doing his math. So I told him if he does it under 30minutes, he gets a donut. My boys don't get donuts normally. Some days he gets a donut, other days he doesn't. It is a powerful motivator. :D
  • ShilohMaier
    ShilohMaier Posts: 135
    I am potty training my two year old right now, and yes, she gets rewarded with candy. It wasn't my idea. My daycare lady uses that method, and there is another little girl potty training right now along with my daughter- that little girl's mother also used the candy reward. Well, the first time my daughter went on the potty, she expected to get a treat the same as the other little girl... and so I got a phone call at work with my little girl in tears in the background because my daycare lady knows that my daughter is not allowed to have candy or sweets. And hearing my little girl crying because she doesn't understand why she's not getting a treat like the other little girl broke my heart. I figured I could very well make just as many hang-ups by forbidding candy as I could by using it as a reward. That's a tough one for me.
  • soon2bhotmom
    soon2bhotmom Posts: 108 Member
    I reward my children for living another year with cake.


    LOL! me too!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    I try not to... but lately I just assume that my little one is fussying because her teeth are trying to come in... so I will give her a bit of a graham cracker... But even then I am working on being more mindful..
  • yesthistime
    yesthistime Posts: 2,051 Member
    I think the candy for potty training is very different than getting a cookie to stop crying. One is rewarding a very special milestone and important new skill, and the other is pacifying potentially negative behavior. There are only so many times a kid can go pee, so the moderation factor is sort of built in with the potty training example. A kid can cry all day every day if it means he or she will get a cookie. Also, children get to a point (and pretty quickly, at that) where using the potty just makes more sense intrinsically than wetting themselves, so the candy reward is not needed to elicit the behavior for very long at all. However, there may never come that point where a child intrinsically decides that throwing a tantrum isn't worth a cookie.
  • soon2bhotmom
    soon2bhotmom Posts: 108 Member
    I dont reward but I dont forbid treats either.
  • Willpowerofsteel
    Willpowerofsteel Posts: 20
    I don't, but my kids' teachers do. My 3rd grader is always coming home with jolly ranchers, it is his teacher's way of rewarding kids who did all their work and behaved in class - they get a jolly rancher for each of those categories. So my kid almost always comes home with 2 jolly ranchers.

    I don't buy candy but with school rewards, valentine's day, Halloween, Christmas, and all the other occasions at school, they come home with so much!! Each one has a candy jar and we let them add candy to it whenever they get it, then we'll let them each choose a piece for dessert a few times per week.
  • breeanreyes
    breeanreyes Posts: 228 Member
    I reward my children for living another year with cake.

    Bahahaha!
  • erogers85
    erogers85 Posts: 32
    I am potty training my two year old right now, and yes, she gets rewarded with candy. It wasn't my idea. My daycare lady uses that method, and there is another little girl potty training right now along with my daughter- that little girl's mother also used the candy reward. Well, the first time my daughter went on the potty, she expected to get a treat the same as the other little girl... and so I got a phone call at work with my little girl in tears in the background because my daycare lady knows that my daughter is not allowed to have candy or sweets. And hearing my little girl crying because she doesn't understand why she's not getting a treat like the other little girl broke my heart. I figured I could very well make just as many hang-ups by forbidding candy as I could by using it as a reward. That's a tough one for me.

    I agree! I do not buy candy/ junk food for my kids, they eat the hippie vegetarian food cook at home- but if I were to make a huge deal out of someone serving kool-aid at a birthday party they attend I know this will become a much larger issue than it has to be! With parenting everything goes with a grain of salt...
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